Talking about quitting = A Trigger?

Sounds like you're basically putting the idea into your own head by talking about it. My dad is an alcoholic; I'm sure having a conversation about wine would stir up some memories of "what is used to be like," which could act as a trigger. It might be best to try keeping it a "personal struggle" for a little while -- avoid talking about it much -- and see if that helps?

 

I think there's truth to this. That's why when I really want to give something up I don't talk about it. Talking about it, triggers thoughts about it...so I'll start to think about it.

I get what you're saying.

- VM

 

I get this and I'm not 100% sure what can be done about it.

I wonder, though, if you are exposed to this trigger and you learn to deal with that trigger effectively, whether its effect would be diminished over time?

 

This is a dilemma.
How do we get the strength and resolve and support to break a habit, without shining a light so bright on it that it won't go away.
I am struggling with this right now.
I thought that stopping fapping would free up time, and free my mind. Currently it is doing neither. I hope that it is just a tunnel that one has to go through to get to the other side.
I think that we have to remain confident that three years from now, we will be different people, and we may not even remember that we had this nasty habit in the first place.

I'm not a expert on addiction, but it always wrankles me when people compare this to alcoholism. I think that its very different, so the comparison has the opposite effect on my thinking, but I'm just speaking for myself.

 

for me talking about quitting is very important. it is like a valve.

without talking here quitting would be impossible.

be honest to yourself - your brain is not a porn-virgin.

no one here can delete all this impressions (many years of watching hardcore stuff)!

we have to learn to live somehow with this poisoned brain.

this was not an attack fallior.

 

I have this problem too. I try not to read too much, bc when I read about all these triggers, it triggers me. I try to keep my posts somewhat generalized. But... it seems to me I am abler to keep away from that stuff when I post my feelings here. I used to have an AP with a friend. We got too personal. And that triggered us too much. So we decided to stop. I need this victory, freedom from this junk. I find my mind is more creative when I consciously work against it. I try to be like a spy. A spy is sneaky, and so are these urges. They come out of nowhere. And so I spy on them. I try to be ever so watchful so they will not overpower me. I try to capture them before they capture me.
And Monkotto: Kudos on 99 days. That is only a dream for me, but hopefully a reality soon.
And learning to live with this poisoned brain is hard. But I did it to myself. I have no none to blame.

 

this is the perfect attitude. you have to be strong and hard to yourself. good luck.

our brain is sadly no hardrive - we cant change it. we can try to cure it as good as possible. but the poison will always be there. maybe we can learn to control the urge.

 

In NLP they know that when you spend energy on something, it gets bigger. If you spend energy on refusing porn, this issue gets stronger. Also it is important to set positive goals. The neglection of things (like i will not smoke) triggers your brain to smoke because your brain cannot relate to negativity. (It understands i will smoke)...
You should rather focus on doing different things, pursuing your goals in life (prepare for a world trip, get a better job...) so anything that does not make your brain think of anything porn related...

I hope this makes sense to you and helps! Keep it up

Use nofap if you cannot refocus or if you need advice or if you want so share. This is how i do it. I try to occupy myself with different things. Hard at the beginning but it will get easier...

 

It will happen, and sooner than you might think. Relax and enjoy your body in its full sensuality. Through the five senses. Experience the real world and real people. If you need to fantasize, do so about non-sexual things. Turn your fantasy to building a new life.
The biggest thing that can help is to stay away as much as possible from modern media (the internet). It's saturated with sexually triggering images.
Soon you will have your own memory bank of "real sexual thoughts", and you can become a healthy sexual being.

 

that made me smile.

i hope one day it will be possible to exchange parts of our brains. then we can install fresh brains.

like computer harddrives. science is developing very fast!

now serious - you will never be that innocent boy again.

and dont forget there is also sexuality in normal (real) life but not so brute and weird.

edit:
dad is right we will get our own memory bank of "real sexual thoughts" - after many years i guess.