Anyone struggle with PE?

So, I've always kind of struggled with PE.

In the past, I always coped with it by having a couple drinks before sex (because that slows the brain-body connection), or by just having a much longer second round after the first one flies by.

Spoiler: Trigger

The majority of the porn I've been drawn to is amateur couples, and I always see these guys going at it for 15, 20, 30 minutes sometimes, and I just keep thinking, "I can't do that." If I go hard and intense, it's over in like two minutes or less. WTF?

In my mind, I feel like long term abstinence from PMO would make this problem worse, not better. But I also admit I've never had long term abstinence, so I can't really say for sure. But sex feels intensely amazing to me, and once I start I feel like I'm already on the path to finishing.

Spoiler: Trigger

Part of it is genetic. If Wikipedia is to be believed, I'm in the 99th percentile worldwide for girth, so the average woman feels tighter to me than she probably would to the average guy. But I have to believe there are ways to get past this. I don't want to just accept that having a big package has left me forever with a PE problem, you know?

I'm taking an herbal supplement right now with lots of goat weed and other stuff. I also do a short kegel routine in the morning and at night before bed. I'm not dating right now, so it's not like I have a chance to see if anything I'm doing is effective--but I thought I'd throw it out there and see if other guys have dealt with this, and how y'all handled it.

 

Appreciate the feedback, but I'm trying to avoid any 'tricks' like numbing ointments, special condoms, c*** rings, etc. And since I'm not planning to have sex again until I'm in a somewhat committed relationship, ideally I won't be using condoms at all, which just makes it that much more of an issue.

I agree about tensing up. I've been doing kegels but maybe I need to practice 'reverse kegels' or whatever, just to get used to the sensation of intentionally relaxing that area. It's hard not to tense up during sex, though. It feels almost involuntary.

 

100%. Pleasure is substantially lower while wearing a condom. Well, for me, at least. I can't speak for everyone.

If I'm in a committed relationship, then using condoms would feel like eating a steak with a plastic baggie around my tongue. I've been in six
different long-term sexual relationships where we didn't use condoms. 1) I pulled out, and 2) we paid attention to her cycle. Literally hundreds of sexual encounters, and no pregnancies. You just have to use your brain.

This is definitely true. I remember getting together with a woman when I was on a SSRI, and I was like a marathon man. It was actually difficult to climax. As good as those work, I don't like the way they make me feel in the head, and I don't want my sexual performance dependent on a psych drug. But you're absolutely right, those work. If I were still fully in my addiction and headed to a swinger's party, I'd totally use those.