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Fed up with life.

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Harry45578, Oct 13, 2014.

  1. Oct 13, 2014 #1
    Harry45578

    Harry45578 Fapstronaut

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    I'm 50 something days into nofap. Although that is good, for the most part, especially the first period where I flatlined and now, I feel completely and utterly depressed - I seem to have given up on life now. A week ago it was so different - I was happy, confident etc. Now, I just feel like shit, like my life is hopeless. The reason I started to fap was to try and boost my confidence and help my social anxiety. Although it has done it a bit, I now think I may have Manic depression. I seem to be constantly transitioning from high to low and I ain't even sure nofap has got anything to do with it. I don't know what to do and I feel ashamed and embarrassed to try and ask for help with any of my issues. It just feels like have so many issues. I'm tall 6"3 and decent at sports but feel as though I've become a loaner who has lost motivation for life. I always feel lonely, like I don't fit in, even when I have people around me (I never do unless I'm at college). It feels like no one apart from my family cares about me. Not even sure if I can be arsed with life anymore. Everyone else is enjoying life and I am not. Everyone else is independent at 16 and I'm so over reliant on my parents and am reluctant to grow up, even scared to grow up (partly because of my anxiety). I've tried fighting off all of these feelings, but I just can't anymore. All I want is to be happy, sociable, and eventually settle down to live a happy family life and find someone that I love. In reality, I just seem to push everyone away, not because I don't like them, but because I'm scared of what people think of me. I've just lost motivation for everything and I hope that somehow NoFap helps me to overcome these issues. I feel as though I've lost the will to live and instead put a smile on so everyone thinks I'm OK. In actual fact, I'm depressed, lonely, anxious, scared of what others think of me/will judge me like, bad in relationships, don't believe in myself and utterly depressed.
     
    Harry45578, Oct 13, 2014
    Harry45578, Oct 13, 2014
    #1
  2. Oct 13, 2014 #2
    beauty

    beauty Fapstronaut

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    NoFap is certainly not a "cure all" endeavour. You need to actively work on yourself day in and day out.

    Whatever you do, do not relapse. It will only make things worse.
     
    beauty, Oct 13, 2014
    beauty, Oct 13, 2014
    #2
  3. Oct 13, 2014 #3
    Harry45578

    Harry45578 Fapstronaut

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    Not even sure I wanna live anymore, so whats the point in abstaining?
     
    Harry45578, Oct 13, 2014
    Harry45578, Oct 13, 2014
    #3
  4. Oct 13, 2014 #4
    beauty

    beauty Fapstronaut

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    Sounds like you have some deeper issues within yourself that need taking care of. You are going to rationalize PMO because you already feel like shit, and don't want to live anymore? What good is that going to do? Why inflict more problems upon yourself, and instead deal with the ones that are in front of you. That is extremely short-sited to be honest.

    To me, indulging in PMO is a sort of escape, which is probably similar to you. You need to seriously take care of what's going on with yourself first and foremost. PMO is not going to help.
     
    beauty, Oct 13, 2014
    beauty, Oct 13, 2014
    #4
  5. Oct 14, 2014 #5
    MelancholyWeightlifter

    MelancholyWeightlifter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I've thought this a lot. Many times I wish I could just die. Life is so confusing, difficult and sad. But really, it is our responsibility to keep on living. I am in no position to give you advice, but I understand how you feel. Just keep enduring. Work hard and eventually you can crawl out of this dark hole you are in.
     
    MelancholyWeightlifter, Oct 14, 2014
    MelancholyWeightlifter, Oct 14, 2014
    #5
  6. Oct 14, 2014 #6
    Dad

    Dad Fapstronaut

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    Read back over your earlier posts. I just did. Look forward. It always gets better.
     
    Dad, Oct 14, 2014
    Dad, Oct 14, 2014
    #6
  7. Oct 14, 2014 #7
    Gilbert

    Gilbert Fapstronaut

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    Hey, there's no shame in seeking help for mental issues, and by the sounds of it you really should. As much as people here on the forum care about you and want to offer support and advice, end of the day we're not counselors. You've done incredibly well to go 50 days, and I can pretty much guarantee that if you were still PMOing on a regular basis, you'd feel even worse. But it sounds to me like you should maybe seek help for it, however embarrassed or proud you may feel.

    I really hope you're able to cheer up soon! But you need to have the attitude and the activeness to want to become happier as well.
     
    Gilbert, Oct 14, 2014
    Gilbert, Oct 14, 2014
    #7
  8. Oct 15, 2014 #8
    yojesse

    yojesse Fapstronaut

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    Bro you should be confident with your height alone. Just don't look at porn you will make it. Spend some time thinking about your pros and cons, you may discover your true self
     
    yojesse, Oct 15, 2014
    yojesse, Oct 15, 2014
    #8
  9. Oct 21, 2014 #9
    XQJ-37

    XQJ-37 Fapstronaut

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    Hi Harry, I'm a 52 year guy, when I was 19 I was put inside a mental hospital for Manic Depresive illness, delusional phycosis, dragged off the street for being a nutter and I cycled like that for 12 years. I've had many times in my life where I thought sucide would be the answer to my problems but managed to muddle my way out of it. One thing that I have noticed with giving up porn is that there is a period were life seems bland boring and pointless so why not wack off to porn but I'm begining to realize is that period is an ajustment of the body/mind to an over stimulated brain, if you go so far up then you will go to the equel depth down but eventualy it will balance to a relative normal cycle of ups and downs. Giving up porn is a good thing, I wish I had your insight when I was 16. Don't be so sure that everybody else is enjoying life, we all wear masks that society approves of that betray our underlying feelings.
     
    XQJ-37, Oct 21, 2014
    XQJ-37, Oct 21, 2014
    #9
  10. Oct 21, 2014 #10
    hms74

    hms74 Fapstronaut

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    oh buddy, you do sound depressed... but I think it is a very good sign that you are here and sharing this with us... it means deep inside you still hope for change. I am sure you are good in many things, but obviously you see just the bad things now (like me hehe)
     
    hms74, Oct 21, 2014
    hms74, Oct 21, 2014
    #10

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