A Progressive Challenge-A different kind of challenge- all levels

day 25/90 i am facing my depressive thoughts. i understand the pain i feel is real but this is an opportunity to understand something about me. it is right i suffer because i feel alone but then i react to do something about it and not staying alone anymore. this phase of reboot is difficult, in flatline, with dark mood but i want to live it with lightness trying to listen to what i am feeling. this is a dependence and something implanted in my life as a habit so punching it creates a reaction in my brain to come back at the starting point where i was worse than now. the hurt in my heart is real and cannot be filled with pmo which only enlarges it. i stay strong because i want enjoy life

 

You've got this, Max. You have a good way of looking at it, and you will make it through this depression.
Exercising or going for a walk should help a little with the moodiness.

 

What is the best medicine when you miss someone who's not in your life anymore and there's nothing you can do to get him back? Please help!

I found a quote that really touched my heart which says :
"You'll keep forgiving the one you love till you hate them"
I guess it's true

 

8/14.

I'm sick. Feeling bad, but 8 days clean is pretty nice.

You got this. In a few days you'll feel better.

 

Good job brother.
Stay strong, I believe in you

 

Thanks @Single Palm Change and @TC10 for your support

 

1/8 and feeling good. Had a great meeting with my councellor. She gets me and made me reach into some darkness I have never wanted to touch on.

Got a lot of things to work. Push forward, I did a 33 day stint. I can get past these 8 days.

 

Day 47/61..thank you all for your encouragement...I like the way we encourage and motivate within ourselves in this forum..Feeling happy

 

90 is ambitious! But it only makes sense, aim higher when your streak gets longer. I feel inspired to do the same when I get to 60. Good luck on the new goal!

Thanks for the feedback! I see where you're coming from. All my fantasies are addictive just like pmo - they give me a fake reward without any of the hard work. I use them to escape reality. And you're absolutely right about the confusion. Fantasies live on it, they keep me unaware what's real and what's illusion.

The best way I've found to clear the confusion though is writing things down and figuring them out. I'm pretty sure most of my fantasies are coming from unmet needs. So I want to figure out what these needs are and take some action to meet them. I'm talking about the non-sexual fantasies, for the sexual ones i'll take your advice 100%.

 

Day 51/60 no pmo.
Day 6/12 no fantasies or edging.

 

It does.
But not when the person who apologized do exactly the same thing again and again.
I know that I might sound girly here but that's only because I miss her and I still care about her
please, don't judge me.

Anyway, Day 30/100
I'm feeling strong and happy.

 

Day 1 of 20

 

Day 59/60

I am feeling consistently pretty good. I have much more stable energy than when I started (and when I relapse), I am more confident and I'm starting to get a lot of things done, that I have been putting off for a long time.
Sure there is still days of anxiety and depression, but these are further apart, and the depression is not as severe, neither does it last as long as it used to (it used to be 24/7, and now it's around one day a week)

I am sure my diet has something to do with this as well. Abstaining from sugar and unhealthy foods has really made a huge difference for me, also for my determination and discipline.

 

Ok, good idea. Just make sure to stay focused and solution-oriented. I have stacks of notebooks proving that ruminating over a subject doesn't really get me anywhere (but it might be that it was necessary and therapeutic for me to write so much down at the time). But I find that when I user a timer for 20 minutes, get a mindmap going, and start asking short, easy and goal-oriented questions, like "what can I do about this today?", things go better. Anyway, everyone is different, so if it works for you, do it.

Congratulations on 30 days! You've really turned things around! Good job

 

Thank you, bro!
I'm so happy right now, I've never experienced it in my life!

 

starting a 4 day challenge

 

9/14

Feeling shit. But 9 days is nice... pretty good to read it out

Okay, stay on the road man!