How i went to jail in cancun for 1 day. A story of pain and redemption (long story!)

Hey everyone, just came out of a crazy couple of few days. New to the community and started my journey to change my life around 10 days ago. I just wanted to tell you guys how i overcame one of my biggest living nightmares. i was suppose to be on chill spring break for 10 days with family but my trip was cut short after a experience that rendered me a full day in jail before i got bailed out for 450$ USD

I hope this story inspires you. No matter the experience you go through, no matter the intensity. never give up on your goals. be grateful for life, if you have family, friends or a girl you love. Cherish them as much as you can. because you never know when it could be your last day.

March 2nd 2018,
I touched down at cancun 3 days ago. I had only a few hours of sleep at the time looking at how my sleep cycle was already fucked up i must of gotten like 2 hours of sleep. im a nightlife videographer and work at clubs and come home at 4-6am on alot of days. my flight was early in the morning at 9am and i touched down at 9pm on the same day in cancun. I coudlnt sleep at the time stayed awake until 4am earlier that day and woke up with a couple hours of sleep only. by the time we went past immigration and transport to hotel it was 11pm. We quickly set up in our room. i decided i would take a couple of drinks down at the bar (it was an all inclusive) so i went downstairs and walked to the bar.it was quite empty but i wasnt shocked as it was the beginning of spring break and colleges would only come on the second week. nonetheless i set up and sat alone at the bar looking for a glimpse of social interaction. I am a pretty social guy all around. i worked in clubs mostly my entire life so starting interaction was not a problem around guys, usually when i found people to befriend they usually have the girls tagging along with em but their wasnt many people my age at the time i was there it was too early in the week. big deal i said. So There i was taking my first drink and then my second. I took a third and went on the beach alone this time. I sat down on one of the hammocks overlooking the full moon, and wow...guys i tell you that moment felt so beautiful. I was enjoying the little things again. i imagined how greater that feeling would be if i had a girl around. i dont know, it just came to me you know. 2 years since my last girlfriend...had no sex or a partner ever since. maybe it was time for a change i thought? i knew that it would be my cure, not binge sex coping, not masturbation, not porn. i wanted a meaningful relationship with passion. i told myself the next time i would look at a moon this big would be with someone i loved. It was a little bittersweet moment but the full moon shining its light over the ocean...ohhh boy i say it a second time... i froze in time! what a sight! i tell you it was so beautiful it made me think how grateful i was to have family and friends and people that cared for me. i was actually happy at where i was in life this time. I had made alot of progress since last year i tell you, i was fapping and smoking weed all day everyday atleast 4-6 times for both sometimes!! all of this to hide a pain and a sense of despair that never existed just fabricated. i had almost given up on my passion as a videographer, producer and artist. the things that actually kept me alive, those even could not meet my despair, you know all of this it made me empty inside It was dreadful, but it was the result of abuse. PMO really ruins lives. at times it was dark. and i had the mind to change but no fuel to take action i was a limp toad for 2 years of my life. lazy and fucked up. Since i have open nerves, i can be highly sensitive to weed sometimes. In pain i would go in psychosis on large amounts of marijuana crying and then try to fap it all away to go to sleep because i had crazy isomnia from work.i would have no energy to do anything the whole day after. like i thought nobody loved me, that nobody saw me for who i was. even tho my mind had great ideas and good ambitions to change i just had no energy whatsoever no matter how much i tried. PMO had literally made me depressed, i lost ambition to meet girls when it used to be exiting. I was just a kid isolating himself crying for help. but crying in the inside...never showing it because i was good at hiding all glimpse of despair, i made sure nobody would know i was feeling dreadful. i was always that kid helping other people but never helping himself. i was always alright... you know my friends call me "alright aaron" because i always recovered the quickest from bad and tragic situations, they envy me for my resilience and i had always insight to help people in their lives. Atleast thats what everyone thought on the outside but on the inside i felt dreadful. i would have crazy schizophrenic episodes when i would be alone. And the funny thing is they would last only 30 seconds to 2 minutes max, full on fucking crazy episodes of chronic despair. for a short period of time but when i was done i was like...oh thats nothing im alright its all fabricated just move on be stronger for yourself bitch get out and snap out of it. weird bipolar shit. thats how i kind of went about things. just move on.but when it came for action, i was making small steps but by the time i took 5 i would fall back from the stairs and start to zero. i had the power and ambition but no energy, no fuel. if you cope things pile up and catch to you, coping is something, overcoming it and vanquishing pain is another. you need to take action to vanquish you demons, one at a time. But only when i was alone, never with anyone else. here i was on the beach thinking about everything i had done to this day, i had goals set up, a new camera to start shooting video and renewed creative fuel on my first week of nofap i was finally getting my life back together. When my drink was empty i took a last glimpse at the ocean and went back at the bar and took a fourth drink, by that time i was only a little bit tipsy but little did i know it was going to hit me like a brick in an hour. these all inclusive hotels i tell you. ive went to 3 before and they end up fucking me up! they basically put half alcohol and half juice but the alcohol taste is unrecognizable so by the time you take 4-5 drinks its the equivalent to 10 regular ones. My tolerance is really weird i tell you, i can tank pretty well but theres a point where if i cross i black out and its usually by that 6-8 mark. If i didnt mix drinks i could probably go to 10 on a fun night. i end up fucked in the long run and if drink too much it hits me like a brick. my father thinks its because my half asian genes. we usually dont have the digestive enzymes for alcohol. and since i had ate a full meal it only made sense it would hit me like that. Let alone i never drink because i got used to smoking marijuana instead. they dont make someone aggressive. You get to enjoy things better on weed as opposed to drinking but can never abuse of both. you you can imagine how fucked i was. an hour later i blacked out and woke up in a dirty ass mexican jail. LITERALLY, how i said was how it happened for me. I literally blacked out at the hotel bar and woke up in jail having no recollection of what happened in between.

march 3rd, 2018. at sunrise, jail cell.
i was covered in a pool of my own blood, my nose was dripping blood while i passed out. my hotel bracelet was in no sight to be seen in fact i had bruises on my arms and legs from the result of struggle its like if someone had ripped my bracelet off intentionally. I was completely confused, in fact so confused i thought i was in some sort of detention center within the hotel. i started speaking in English to the guard in front of the jail cell to understand the situation clearly. In the first hours i kept calling and screaming at the guard for answers like could i call someone? someone call reception? could i have info of where i am!! but when he came out for the third time he took out his baton and pointed it at me and pointed it to the chair and told me to sit down then he pointed downstairs. which was the direction of the underground prison cells i assumed. the other two cellmates that were in with me were telling me to relax gringo otherwise i was really going to get fucked up. reality sinked in. I wasnt in some detention center, i was straight up in jail. i sat down and calmed the fuck down i tell you, my survival instincts kicked as fast as a motherfuck i was silent as a fucking rock after. their was nothing i could really do at that point except wait. I was lucky enough i was with my mother on this trip. it is rare that i do family trips but i have grown to love them better then the crazy ones with friends. Much more time to reflect on yourself instead. i mean had i decided to go on spring break with friends and found myself in this same situation. OHH boyyy...i would of been there for a week. and my friends would probably be in there too. And i tell you guys, the first 48 hours in jail in mexico you get no water and no food. so you could imagine how dehydrated i felt after downing alcohol the previous day. i didnt drink or eat the entire day until 8pm at night. When i calmed down i tried to recollect what happened, and why i was placed in jail in the first place but i could not recollect any information. it was one of the craziest experiences. i had literally blacked out and woke up in jail. Did i get drugged? did i pass out? was i just really drunk? did i fight people? i thought to myself noo way...i knew i wasnt the violent one, i have always kept my composure and would only be violent if someone meddled with family or friend, but not intentionally violent as the result of ego, never for no reason. Were the cops trying to extort money i said to myself? I remembered what my father said to me about mexico, he warned me about how corrupted the cops were and that all they wanted was your money and would arrest you on some dumb shit. was i roofied or did nofap got me violent and i ended up scraping with people?? fuck no way... that was too far fetched. So i stayed there in the far corner of the cell. there was nothing i can do but to wait and observe. On first sight their was a pile of shit in the corner and i wondered damn, i was really in some fucked up place. for a couple of hours i stood in that corner as far away from that pile of shit but then i got used to the smell. my cellmates were two homeless friends roughly the same age as me. they were in for stealing. We didnt talk for hours until one of them took out his shirt and i saw tattoos all over him, one of them was a huge el muerte tattoo angel + text at that sight i was a little shook, he stood up wrapped his shirt around his head and said "no worry gringo..yoo safe hereee relaxx". I told him if they knew any details about where i was, and they said i was about 20minutes from my hotel by transport. So there i was reassured, my mother was in the hotel and i had a glimpse of hope. i knew that if i was gone and not back before 7am on a night out without no text or phone that i would most likely be in great trouble. i stood up and took out my shirt. the other cellmate told me i had my face covered in blood. i said i had no water to wipe it out and he told me to spit in my shirt too wipe it. Didnt really made sense to me but i went on too do it and it didnt really work. i was already dehydrated so wasting my spit would of been counter productive. I took the shirt and wiped my dry lips instead only then did proceed to wrap my shirt around my head. roughly 5 long hours passed by, i cannot be sure but i knew at the time that the guards would come close to our cell every couple of hours for a few minutes a time. that was just enough so i could try to get information from the guards, let alone get their attention at first. Because every time a guard would pass they would come for a few minute either to check on us or to bring another prisoner in the other cell either downstairs or in the bigger cell beside us upstairs. On the 4th time i knew what i had to do, they couldnt undertand english so maybe i had to write something. communicate in a different way i took my finger dipped in my blood which would come fresh out of my nose every couple of minutes and i painted a dollar sign on the wall. and i turned and said " you want money?" pointing at the guard making dollar signs with my hand. he finally came close to me and said : have money right now? I said if i made a call i could get him the money. he said no, that i had to wait for "big boss" to come to decide first. He left again and there i was 10 more hours passed by everytime seeing the guard pass by with different prisoners some of them bleeding too and bruised the fuck out, some of them were apeshit crazy. i saw one of them hitting himself on the floor while a cop was trying to restrain him, intentionally like he wanted to die. But after a while it was silent for a long time. There i observed once again with my head up in the sky this time. It was a bright day and i could see the sun shining bright into our cell, the smell of the ocean mixed with shit, wasnt great but it gave me a sense of hope really. Honestly the most reassuring thing was the sounds of the birds flying over us and that contrast with the smell of the shit got me really thinking what the actual fuck did i get myself into. Once again was i that violent that i got myself locked up in some shithole mexican jail on spring break. It felt like i was in an episode of prison break during these hours me and the cellmates told each other stories. one of em told me how he had done a job with the cartel as a runner in mexico city, and that he left and ran away to cancun because the cartel had killed his family over bad business and he had moved on. That he regrets not doing a job right but that he moved on and aligned himself with the lord instead. He kept telling me to relax and that the lord would listen. I am not a religious person but i understood what it meant, this guy had tattoos of jesus on his back as well as contrast to proof his faith. We then proceeded to do a little prayer, we sat down facing the wall with our hands wrap around each other he told me that we would all get out soon at the end. that we would be alright. We also exchanged stories about weed this is how i bonded with the other cellmate who was a little more silent because he couldnt understand english. 800 pesos for 28g is a steal. I also got a nickname "lost gringo"they also mentioned that if i got out early that i could get them some food. i told them i could do something when i came out but needed his help to translate whenever the guards came. So we started working together and one of the head guys finally came up to me to tell me some news. He told me that my mother had called and would come shortly to the station. I was finally coming out. and i was grateful to be alive. I looked at my cellmate with a smile and told him "thanks man, i appreciate it" and we fist bumped. When my mother came i met her and told me that we would talk when we went out. We went out and i saw she had a bag of chips in the cab. I took them from her and told her too wait that i would give food to one of the cellmates that he helped me translate and that i promised him food . I went back to the jail cell and told the guard if i could give the cellmate chips. this time having paid bail money he had no problem escorting me back to the jail area. I gave them i said thats all i got but here is some food. He told me "your not a lost gringo after all" and we smiled and i left not looking at the jail cell again. i was grateful for everything, to have been alive. But the most striking thing was my report. I finally had found the source of this strange story. apperently i had gotten so drunk that i went back in the rooms with a group of people. And when i came out from the room i strangely came back to the same floor and banged at doors, i kept screaming my brothers name for some reason when the security held me down. I went apeshit crazy after from the result of paranoia i think i believed my brother was in danger. I have a little brother and i care for him i want him to grow better then i was at his age, his 15. My subconcious had taken over and i had no recollection of none of this but apperently they knew this info from camera footage within the resort the bruise on my nose was the result of a fight with some american guys in the halls as a result of self defence, maybe i thought they had harrased my brother but my brother told me after that he wasnt harrased that it was fine. My brother was safe he was actually upstairs chilling. I was probably just paranoid about it because of the alcohol at the time. i had no recollection of anything in that room whatsoever. i had completely blacked out. But what i cant understand is why the resort never called my mother in the first place. they just shipped me to jail, i mean was i really that violent? they had to call police on me? im a 135 pounds 5'9 so im not exactly the biggest guy. and the report said i was resisting arrest from 2 cops as well. WTF i thought, the last time i blacked out the same way i was totally incapacitated motionless. the weirdest thing is they wouldnt show my mother the footage nor disclose of the people that were a witness. it could of been all farfetched and made up. too this day i dont know. and cant recollect any thoughts. i took the first flight out of cancun the same day. there was just no point. They had already kicked me out of the resort so a first flight back home was just logical. i didnt want to stay and have let my mom live through that again. i just coudn't my father said that shit happens and that it was the right thing to do. I came back yesterday and slept about 16 hours straight. after living through that i have felt a new feeling , i had a sense of deep connectivity with myself, i truly felt grateful to be alive. to be breathing. I meditated in that jail cell and for a moment it felt blissful, i latched to the positive sounds of the birds as my anchor, and kept my composure the entire way. Just like i promised myself on this journey. When i came back home to type this i had no urge for PMO whatsoever. I think going through a traumatic experience can really knock some sense out of you sometimes, not the experience but the lessons. You are really your best teacher in life. The only person that can help you is yourself at the end of the day. Sometimes your feelings may feel real but you are too crushed by that fog of despair you feel lost. Anchor yourself around the positive things in life and you can march out of this fog into the light. my 10 day experience has been a crazy and life changing one. It really thought me to never quit. I mean i thought i was going to get ptsd for this but reading all of these success stories just gets me pumped for the future. the thought of achieving my goals to better myself just gets me pumped now. I truly feel grateful, i told my family i was grateful for everything they had done to me and i told my father i loved him for everything he had thought me in life. To keep my composure and never lose track i was. TO always be true to myself at all times and keep composure in the hardest situations

March 5th at 6am right now
I finish writing this, and it feels bittersweet i smoked a joint with a few friends when i came back home, we had a welcome back party at this bridge near my house. And we just toasted on the crazy stories and good times we had. TO always learn from our mistakes and move on from them and to take action to better ourselves. some real blood brothers shit. I truly am grateful for life guys. If you really feel grateful its that strong feeling in your chest and warmth in the mind when you look up in the sky.

I hope this story can help. in any sort really. Going to recover slowly and get back on track. Exited for day 30 lets gettt it boyyyyysss!

im out.

 

Thanks homie, honestly just trying to recover. just blessed and grateful to be alive. just learnt to not go overboard with alcohol in these kind of environments no more. Just can't dwell on the past you know. Can't let it fuck me up back to step 1. What happen happens for a reason. i take it as a lesson and move on! Cheers mate!