How long does withdrawal last? And are my symptoms "normal?"

Dude I can someway relate myself to your story. I always considered myself straight, then ED with my ex, and shit went down, OCD, gay thoughts (I'm trying to handle this) and sexual confusion. I started reboot 25 days ago and first two weeks were totally underwelming, huge flatline and no urges at all, then around day 16-19 I started having (straight) wet dreams and sexual fantasies, morning woods and some daily erections back, my HOCD was quite under control even with some spikes here and there. Last days were terribile though, back into flatline, super foggy mind, gay thoughts intensified and libido again fallen in the dark deep. But keep going. I'm no good motivator and I don't know what we will feel when our brain will be cleaned up but what we did up until now is definitely huge shit! Keep going!

 

yes!!! i agree.

 

thats for me to. exept porn was a relationship filler, I was not even aloud to have a women friend in my 20's becaused i still lived with the parents.

 

@Saturdaze what kind of emotional pain do you have?

 

do a google search on 5-htp
and here is this to get started
http://www.fatigueanswers.com/5-HTP.html

 

day 27 for me. feel better each day. I also started taking the following supplements:

- GABA
- Inositol
- 5HTP
- Magnesium Taurate
- L-theanine
- L-Tyrosine

I highle recommend Magnesium taurate and 5HTP.

I just came back from work, it is winter and cold no sun and I still have energy. Something is definitely working inside me, as one month ago I would wake up tired and anxious.

 

Hey man, sorry to hear about your upbringing. We don't choose our family and some of us don't get the love we deserve as children. On the bright side though, you will appreciate infinitely more the love of a woman when you find her than someone like me, for a example, that had a normal childhood. You eill enjoy it and absorb it better than me, because it eill be new to you. Remember everything in life is balance, so if you lacked in something you will get it somewhere else more than you should. It's just the way things work.

 

Thanks for all the kind replies and support guys.

I hope you are doing well. Wishing you the best for 2016. May it be the year of success for all of you!

Ever since I quit ADs I get excited upon waking, but I'm guessing this is because of testosterone. Looking into some test results, it seems my T is fluctuating and dependent on both the anxiety and the AD. With AD, it definitely goes down and it drops quickly. For me it's easy to control my urges during the day, but I have trouble upon waking. At times I wake up at 6 am horny.
Still have anxiety but I know I can't expect it to just evaporate into thin air.

Thanks for all the tips... Therapy I'm looking into. HTP-5 I know, in fact I have this whole arsenal of supplements in my closet, lol. I have found vitamin C, vitamin B12, ashwagandha and folic acid to work wonders, when taken in moderation. I have tried zinc but my testicles hurt if I take it. Seems I'm not the only one, so careful on the zinc if you are reading this and want to try, you could end up with an infection, even after just a short period of supplementing. If you do want to take zinc I would advise not to take 100% of the recommended daily dosage.

@Dgmili93: we are totally in the same boat, and I bet we are not alone in this. The homosexual thoughts seem to be porn-induced and all the crap you read online about you being gay if you get excited by naked men is nonsense. You will find yourself repulsed should you even try a thing or two with a guy, in real life. You'll have to think about porn in order to get excited and that is exactly what porn sells, it's all lies and the HOCD comes from it as well. I too have straight wet dreams and this goes to show we are in fact straight and not gay because these things all happen subconsciously. That being said, lust is the culprit of a lot of misery! I too find the gay thoughts to subside if I abstain from porn long enough. On the other hand, the longer you watch porn, the nastier the thoughts get. Makes you wonder if there could be such a thing as porn-induced homosexuality. But I'm pretty sure the HOCD comes from it.

Best of luck to you all! Great to see everyone is supportive of everyone, together we will make it!

Cheers,
Ken

 

Hi,

Just wanted to let you know that I'm now absolutely certain that physical pmo withdrawal is real. The hardest part of it is the duration, and as the years have gone by I have found out the hard way that there is no such thing as 'partial' rebooting. That the brain will recover if you keep pmo'ing or even just keep watching p. I don't know about others but in my case relapsing has dragged me back to 0 over and over again which is why my rebooting is taking way too long (these relapses have tended to occur after periods of 3 or even 6 months, which for me just won't do). It's hell. It's only now when I've finally cut all of it out of my life that I can feel actual progress in terms of withdrawal and recovery from this awful addiction. Once you hit withdrawal it's not just that it means you can't pmo every day, you also can't pmo or look at p on a monthly basis or a 2-monthly basis or for whatever amount of time your own brain and body need. For me it just happens to be months and months and it will definitely require another year for me to fully heal. I guess it depends on the person but for me witdrawal requires absolute abstinence for a very long time to completely recover. It's been years since I first decided to quit pmo and I still feel like I'm recovering from some kind of hard drug addiction.

I would just like to add to this that existentialism is something I've experienced to some degree, but not very pronounced. My symptoms mainly include social anxiety, panic disorder, agoraphobia, isolation and a sense of worthlessness. As the days go by I notice that there IS light at the end of the tunnel and I'm 100% certain that all of these symptoms are related to the pmo addiction I've had. As some have said, the younger you are when you fall into the trap, the harder it is to get out. I'm convinced that the physical changes that have taken place because of the addiction have led to a hellish but logical and perhaps righteous withdrawal. Although I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. I think it's absolutely vital that once people enter this phase of addiction, they realize that continuing the habit to whatever extent, will probably result in a prolonged recovery time and unnecessary suffering. I'm just hoping that if anyone is in the same boat as me and they are reading this, it can be a meaningful affirmation of their own thoughts and convictions. It's definitely a hard, awful and painful lesson and for me it definitely equals recovery from hard drug addiction. There is not a doubt in my mind. Perhaps the worst part of all of this is finding out when you're willpower is at its peak, when you finally decide to end the addiction, the real misery only just begins.

Please never underestimate withdrawal from pmo-addiction. I think a lot of it has to do with how long a person has been addicted for and other conditions but in my case it really feels like there's nothing that could be worse. I've fortunately realized that there's only 1 way out. No shortcuts, definitely no cheating.

Life is so much better without pmo. I can already sense the bliss at the other side of this mess.

Good luck to all of you who are perhaps like I have been, still searching for answers. Withdrawal doesn't include options. Please let no one fool you into thinking it does because it can be a long and very painful experience. I realize this is a very sensitive subject that involves a lot of personal feelings, but I'm putting it out there hoping that it will benefit at least someone in need. You are definitely not alone.

All the best

Edit: Also would like to add that the homosexual thoughts have completely gone. I've never been truly gay and being free from pornography has only been an affirmation of my true orientation. This goes to show that sooner or later pmo sends you into some kind of fetish that is hard to break free from. It really, truly is a poison. A drug that I've come to detest so much no words can describe how I wish it would simply not exist. I sincerely hope that what I've gone through and how my thoughts about possibly being gay have changed, means that others who are currently suffering from HOCD will find their hopes renewed. To all of you who are suffering with HOCD, obsessing and fearing they could be gay, I have this to say: yes, turning your back on pmo will eventually result in completely remission of your thoughts and symptoms. Freedom is yours for the taking.

 

Good post, mate. I definitely agree to the length of rebooting if you relapse. I started nofap mid December 2015 and until now I still have major anxiety, paranoia, flashes of porn videos in my head, basically my brain acting up like a b... asking me to give it what it was used to (2+ years after I quit).

I did have sex on a regular basis throughout all this time and relapsed about 10 times max (in 2 years - some of them 1-day binges). However the days when you feel like Superman are great, I just hoped that they would become more often and the paranoia and anxiety would subside.

I just started seeing a therapist for my phobias, so hopefully she will help with that.

 

Thanks for the insight mate, how are you dealing with it? It kinda of went away for me, by anxiety is still there almost 24/7.

 

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Sounds like you've had very similar experiences.

The biggest mistake I've made is thinking relapses wouldn't affect recovery much. Believe me when I say it does. I've found out the hard way. And I've been trying to make a full recovery for several years. You simply cannot relapse if you want to recover completely. Once you are in that withdrawal stage, it seems the brain's so sensitive relapses can cause a total setback. This may not be true for everyone but if your addiction was severe, relapses can definitely cause a setback.

The most important thing is to stay away from all pornography. Don't think you can edge to pornography without O and that it won't affect you in any way. I did that for quite a while thinking it was okay but it really isn't.

It's only when you decide and manage to end PMO that you will see real recovery happening.

Phobias, in my opinion, have everything to do with PMO addiction if you were in fact addicted and are experiencing withdrawal symptoms. This is coming from someone who was diagnosed with panic disorder, clinical depression, severe social anxiety and agoraphobia, all of which started not long after first quitting PMO.

It is important that we share these experiences, because it's only now, thanks to forums like these, that people are beginning to honestly talk about the suffering they've been through. When I first started nofap there was no forum and I had absolutely no idea of why I was having all of these symptoms. If you have no one who can relate you actually start thinking that it can't be healthy to not pmo, therefore having these symptoms. See how my thoughts affected my behavior, causing recovery setbacks time after time?

Thank God sites like nofap and yourbrainonporn.com popped up recently because honestly I don't know what I would have done or thought without them. Withdrawal from pornography is very real but for some reason it can be difficult to recognize symptoms as being related to addictions in yourself. This makes relapses almost inevitable. It isn't until we fully comprehend that symptoms of major anxiety and depression are all connected to pmo-addictions (in people who did have in fact an addiction to pmo) that, through motivation, we can start doing something about it.

The reason why you've experienced phobias is because withdrawal has caused such a major change in brain chemistry that your brain has a hard time coping. The stress-response that can come from giving up pmo addiction can be so intense that I'm convinced it has been the one and only cause of my psychiatric symptoms. The similar stories on here are absolute confirmation. So yes, your phobias are totally connected to withdrawal from pmo if in fact you've been trying to abstain from porn.

It is important to know that these withdrawal symptoms, severe as they are (panic attacks and fears of the kind you wouldn't wish upon your worst enemy), are a sign of a brain that grew up under the influence of extreme stimuli (being porn). Porn is said to raise excitatory neurotransmitters in the brain by up to 200, 300 or maybe even 400%. What happens is that, when you take away these stimuli, the brain is suddenly left with nothing when over the years, it has developed certain neurological circuits that were meant to support the processing of these elevated neurotransmitters.

Understand this and you will know it's only normal to experience anxiety and or depression when you quit an addiction as severe as pmo. Former hard drug addicts that were also addicted to pmo have described withdrawal from pmo as more intense and much harder to overcome.

It is crucial to understand that once you are in the withdrawal stage of pmo addiction and find yourself having these symptoms, you must not go back to using pmo. It is also important to understand that it takes time for a brain to heal from this. If your addiction was really severe and if you discovered pmo at the age of say 12 or 13, forget about the 90-day reboot, because in that case you are in for a very hard time that can last up to 1 or 2 years. There's absolutely no sugarcoating it. If you pmo'ed every other day as a teenager, you most likely will go through withdrawal and it will most likely be the hardest thing to go through in life.

From my own experiences, I can't emphasize enough how bad relapses really are since in my case they have only maintained these hellish withdrawal symptoms. To be honest with you I should have made a full recovery a long time ago. That's how bad relapses are. It's only now, having gone without all pmo for a considerable amount of time, that I've come to fully understand the connection between these symptoms/phobias and the addiction/relapses. I feel much more confident, relaxed and on my way to being my old self or even better. For now I'm still recovering and can only imagine what it must be like to be a healthy individual who is free from this addiction. Or in other words, what it's like to live the way one is supposed to. Because even as a a teenager pmo can cause such a profound impact on vitality that one doesn't really live life to the fullest.

I hope this makes sense. Do not for a moment there think that medications or therapists are going to take away your suffering when you are in that withdrawal stage but still using. And no it's not wrong to think of it as a drug because in fact that's what it is. It's totally capable of changing the reward circuitry in your brain the way substances like cocaine or heroin do.

You don't want to know how many different types of antidepressants I've tried. I have absolutely nothing against anti-depressants, in fact I'm all for them when one really needs them, but believe me when I say they won't be of much help when you are in withdrawal from pornography and masturbation. The brain at that moment is so out of whack that medications or talk therapy are basically useless.

Only time and abstinence are capable of making recovery happen. The brain is very plastic and you will absolutely recover from your phobias and other symptoms IF you abstain from it all for long enough. Unfortunately your brain will come up with the best reasons it can think of for you to start using pmo again. Often times it will surprise you with these urges out of nowhere, at crucial moments in your recovery, even - perhaps mostly - after several months of hard work and unbreakable determination.

In this regard and as a final note, I would like to advise not to spend a lot of time on forums like these when you're recovering. This will perhaps sound counter-intuitive, but it's important to understand how reversed psychology works. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should never come on here, far from it, I'm all for sites like these when it comes to gathering information and sharing experiences, but thinking about how you're fighting a problem all of the time can cause some sort of subconscious thinking that can actually lead to relapses. So constantly reminding yourself of how you've been through something can actually trigger previous behavior and reinforce addictive pathways in the brain. We'll always be sensitive. Disconnecting your brain from anything to do with porn and giving it the time it so desperately needs to heal, is really all that is needed to make it through this.

Hope this makes sense.

Take care.

 

Don’t listen to the people who say one relapse doesn’t set you back, because it absolutely does. I should of cured this five years ago when I was in the early stages of withdrawal but each relapse has kept me in it since. This is one of them things you have to come to terms with and realise if you want a fully functional life you can never watch it again.

Six months in and I’m seeing little glimpses of what is yet to come.