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I think PMO caused my bipolar disorder

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by hillcountry, Oct 23, 2014.

  1. Oct 23, 2014 #1
    hillcountry

    hillcountry Fapstronaut

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    I'm 43 and a stay at home dad. I have a wife and two children. And I've had this secret since I was about 16. I've had many jobs in my life, but have never reached the two year anniversary point with any of them. Something would always happen. Usually, it would be because I missed too many days due to calling in sick. It was usually depression that caused that. Finally, in May 2008, I got fired from my job as a travel agent for a good company. It was the best job I'd ever had up to that point. Fast forward to 2014, I'm on disability because I could see the writing on the wall after 2008: my family would be in poverty if they depended on me to be stable and keep a good job. That was six and a half years ago, and it's taken me this long to join a community like this. I often despise myself for getting to the point where I have to depend on the government to help me support my family. The only thing I am glad about is that I paid my Social Security taxes for several years when I WAS WORKING, and have paid into the system. So, I'm not a total freeloader. But I also realize I'll never be stable, I'll never be free of this mental illness, as long as I continue masturbating to porn. Is there anyone reading this who can relate?
     
    hillcountry, Oct 23, 2014
    hillcountry, Oct 23, 2014
    #1
  2. Oct 28, 2014 #2
    Dogwood

    Dogwood Fapstronaut

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    Dogwood, Oct 28, 2014
    Dogwood, Oct 28, 2014
    #2
  3. Oct 28, 2014 #3
    hillcountry

    hillcountry Fapstronaut

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    hillcountry, Oct 28, 2014
    hillcountry, Oct 28, 2014
    #3
  4. Oct 28, 2014 #4
    EternalWaves

    EternalWaves Guest

    Yes, of course! I'm 42 and I am working as a freelancer since 24 years. I had similar phases where I almost lost everything because I wasted my time with porn and I totally neglected my work and my customers and my friends and my family - everything. During some time in my life, I lived in a total chaotic mess, and I remember that I almost volunteered to go to jail, because I thought that I would have an organized life there at least.

    The only way out is a change in your life style. It means true abstinence from sex and I recommend also a therapy.

    In the beginning, the change is hard, but after a while you get used to it.
    Actually, a life without PMO means that you need to learn to deal with fears, doubts, stress, etc.

    The addiction is just ONE way to "deal" with such emotions. But there are also OTHER ways, much BETTER ways, you just need to LEARN them! This is pretty much like learning any other skill. Like learning to juggle, or to drive a car, or to speak chinese, or playing guitar.

    After some while, you reach a level of experience and then it becomes easier and easier.

    I would like to add that PMO as well as depression BOTH are results of a deeper underlying problem. Both are the results of a certain inability to deal with fears, doubts, stress, and so on.
     
    EternalWaves, Oct 28, 2014
    EternalWaves, Oct 28, 2014
    #4
  5. Oct 28, 2014 #5
    hillcountry

    hillcountry Fapstronaut

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    thanks, freedomflight. Confession is good for the soul.
     
    hillcountry, Oct 28, 2014
    hillcountry, Oct 28, 2014
    #5

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