So many triggers

@Robinwithai , You're absolutely right.

Stay Strong and Steady On!

 

Hey, man, this is really good advice. Thanks for sharing. I think addiction (not just porn addiction) is often a symptom of a bigger problem in one's life (though, not always). I've faced a lot of rejection in my life, and I often feel like I'm not good enough. If I'm with friends, I feel like I'm not funny enough. If I'm with my girlfriend, I feel like a shitty boyfriend. If I'm working on a personal project or something, I feel like I'm not creative or dedicated enough. Sometimes I'll let these feelings of inadequacy build up inside me instead of admitting to myself that they're feelings and identifying them in my head, and that build up makes me feel depressed. When I feel depressed, I turn to porn, because it will never let me down and it will always make me feel good (even though I'm aware it's a shallow and short-lived good feeling). I think I wouldn't be as likely to use porn if I found a better way to deal with the pain I feel from all the other stuff in my life. Good luck on your journey, and I hope you become stronger and more resilient to life's challenges.

 

Thanks for sharing your journey with us and im glad youve been able to notice whats causing you to watch porn. Its never the porn itself its always an emptional or psychological “scar” we have and PMO is coping with those problems.

The objective is to not rely on nothing to help us cope but ourselves and those we love. Be ok with having to face rejection, discouragement or whatever feelings have caused us to fall into PMO. Im still struggling to get there as im very lonely and have had lots of problems in my past but im beginning to cope with everything slowly but surely.

Lets stay strong and never give up because thats the key. You can fall a billion times but always getting back up is key to success

 

Thanks for sharing!
Right now, I feel like relapsing. Because I have work to do and I know I'm letting people down because I'm not fast enough to do it the way they want. So I feel inadequate. I think I suffer from feeling this huge gap between the ideal version of myself, who rarely occurs, and reality. It's hard. It feels like being beaten up by your parents over and over again. Except you're doing it to yourself.

And avoiding pmo is an excellent thing. But it doesn't get the work done. So the feeling stays. It's like you can't feel better, you can only feel less worse.

Sorry for the negative toughts. I'm having a hard time not relapsing.

But you kow what? Tommorow is springday. And that's good news for everybody!

I wish you all sun and colourfull days.

 

Porn often does fill the gaps for other traumas in our lives. I began with it because I didn't learn about having safe sex with another man in school and my parents sure as hell weren't going to teach me about it. Over time it became a way to deal with stress.

If I've learned anything about trauma/triggers in the past few years (and I've had many traumatizing experiences), it's always best to expose yourself to them so you can deal with those emotions. The more you throw yourself into the uncomfortable and come to terms with it, the stronger you become.

 

Thank you both for the answers! I'm still struggeling. I didn't relapsed (yet) but I feel confident I can and I will overcome this in the long run.
It's just frustrating that right now the power I have is just enough to fight the battle, but not to build the walls to stay out of danger...

 

This is certainly my experience. Nice op, @Robinwithai. Nice thread.

 

Well for the moment, it's all I have to offer.

Thanks for reacting. You are right. We are life itself. We just have to learn to not spoil it around.

Peace,

T

 

really great post mate!
i can say you are one of the few people here that realize what the root cause of our porn problem is.
we all have hurting inner children still inside of us and before we do not cure them we will keep falling into our addictive behaviour.
addiction is escape. escape from trauma.

 

yes, that child is whole. but you need to reconnect to it. to be a full human being again. only that way we can fight this and get rid of the addiction.

 

I’m a sex addict in SAA and have been in therapy for years. I’ve learned in SAA that’s sex addiction and porn addiction has nothing at all to do with sex - it’s an emotional problem, as I think you alluded to.

I’d love to discuss more with you if you’d care to start a new convo with me, or reply here. All the best.
- Beach

 

i wish you the best of luck!