Full of Self-Doubt and Low Self-Esteem

I totally relate to your story. We both have some deep Inner issues (lack of self-worth mainly). You have a lot of Inner work to do to change your subconscious. Positivity and affirmations won't work, I've tried them, because they are at the conscious level. That's when I realized I need to work on my subconscious, that's where all the self-sabotage come from

 

Success with women and having good looks isn't everything.

Happiness and self love is earned.

What are you doing in your everyday life that makes you feel proud and accomplished? What difficult things are you working on that leads to growth, courage, and confidence? What thoughts, feelings, and behavior do you do on a daily basis that allows you to validate yourself? Basically, I'm asking what are you doing with your life that causes you to become a person that you love?

External validation from others, especially if it's just something superficial as your physical attributes can be empty.

 

First, you gotta dig down your childhood memories, look for painful events, repetitive patterns throught your life)..etc.
If you look up Self Authoring program by Jordan Peterson, it will give you a clue.
Second, you gotta let the resistence behind those feelings fade away. For this, look up Teal Swan on Youtube or read David Hawkins (Letting Go book)

There's a great quote which captures the essense of how our lives are dictated by our subconscious beliefs.

"Until you make your subconscious conscious, it will rule over your life, and you will call it fate"

 

speaking of 'subconciousness': morning pages are a great way to get access to your subconcious mind when you do them right after waking up in the morning as your inner censor isn't fully awake yet.
just look it up & try it out!

 

Well, first of all your problem is not the women. It is that you see the World as a very f××× up place. If you can change that perspective then life will be beautiful for you my friend.

 

When I was reading this I was thinking "oh man, so obvious, I was there too so I know now, I would bet my whole lunch that you had some kind childhood trauma, or you are hiding something that you think is not alright and you are just portraying the perfect image of yourself because you are afraid to show your vulnerability, because deep inside you dont believe that women would ever want something so far from perfect image as you really are." And boom next sentence it was there - psoriasis.

You dont need to be afraid of it. No people are perfect. It is actually the imperfections that helps you connected with others.
General rule is: If you have any insecurities you have to change them if possible and embrace them if impossible to change.

For example my case: when I was born I had muscle defect the doctors said I will be probably on wheelchair or walking with crutches if I am lucky. And I had to exercise (with my parents) from year 2 till basically to year 20 almost every day. And at elementary I could move even without crutches but you could really see that my walking is different and not normal. During my teenage years I actually got surprisingly better thanks you daily exercising and stretching the muscles so normal people (not doctors specialized in that area) couldnt spot it at all. But the psychological damage was already done, I felt imperfect, afraid to show my vulnerabilities because of early childhood experience when other kids teased me about it. So hiding it, pretending, playing the perfect was what I was doing but it never lead to anything, I was too afraid to show my flows and unable to open myself and unable to create any connection. Until I read some literature that targeted this issue and made me embrace it.

Now I still have to exercise about 2 times a week, otherwise muscles will shorten abnormally fast and in couple months without exercise people could spot it again but I realized:
1. I have a great motivation to exercise not like so many overweighted people in the world who cannot find motivation. If I exercise regularly I am totally normal and plus after 25+ years of exercising I have now body of god, six pack, big muscles, basically the body so many people are dreaming for.
2. It learnt me to go for what I believe and for what I want, despite other people saying otherwise or that it is impossible. For example doctors told my parents I will be "probably on wheelchair or walking with crutches if I am lucky" yet I didnt care what they said, I worked as hard as I could and eventually I even won a dancing competitions few years ago and now doing complicated adrenalin sports.
3. Thanks to my difficult childhood and mobility problems, I developed very high IQ from which I really benefit now, particularly when I fixed all other problems.
4. It was a great opportunity to dive deep into my insecurities, learn to deal with them, eliminate them if I could, to embrace them when necessary, to improve myself both physically and mentally; and now I am much more happy with myself and I have much higher self-esteem than normal people who never improved because it was only a small problem for them.
5. All in all it made me the person I am now, the stronger (mentally) person that I am totally happy with. It was actually a gift and I would never change it now even if I could. This is embracing. It didnt happen over night. But eventually it did happened.

Although I could hide it totally now from girls if I wanted, but I dont see point why I should do it, because it is not my insecurity anymore. I actually tell about it to every girl and then say "these are my struggles that I am fighting my life and I am curious about your demons in your life because everybody has some." Then she says something like I suffer from lactose intolerance or I was past anorectic or I have psoriasis or some mental problems or something else. For which I usually say "thank you, I still like you exactly the way you are and I am happy to see the real deep you not the one we often try to pretend". And the feeling to be accepted with your flows by other person creates always very strong connection. And more you are willing to share your struggles, more you encourage the other to share her/his struggles and that creates very deep connection.

So dont be afraid for not being perfect, nobody is, actually I knew only one guy, friend of mine, who was 'really' lucky and had no problems at all, was born with no health issues, very handsome, great body, great family, everything great until he suddenly out of blue sky got Leukemia and died 3 years ago. So just be grateful for you struggles, since everybody has some and who not, will almost certainly get some along the way, so actually really nobody is perfect. Just remember that.

 

This is VERY true, probably my biggest turn off I ever experience was the girl who had car accident. She told me she had very big ugly scars on her upper arm and shoulders from accident, and didnt want me to see them at all no matter what I told her. Even when we had sex she was wearing a hoody unzipped so I could play with tits but still covering her shoulders and upper arms. Purely bizarre. Whatever it would look like I would be fine with that , but I was not fine with somebody afraid to be seen as she was. The biggest turn off.