I'm afraid I'm going to lose my relationship due to sex addiction

I know you said being concerned you're the only woman is only part of the reason, but as far as that goes they do have women only meetings. If you're not even ready to go to one of those consider listening in on phone meetings, or say an online meetings like intherooms.com which has a few related to this issue like SLAA.

 

I understand about not wanting to go to meetings, a lot of times I don't and I'm very much a loner but I have found it is necessary. I STILL don't feel I have enough in common with people, but I'm not there to hang out but for recovery.

Also in a way you're not attending a meeting if you do it online or over the phone, you're just listening in. On just a mental level you might hear things that give you ideas, so that's still doing things yourself.

 

Hi there,

I am a 24y Male. I might not relate to you completely. However, i get it.

Dont masturbate with your vibrator too much. The genitals have several sensitive nerve endings and hence provide pleasure when touched. However, vibrators desensitises the genitals (Vagina), making it less reactive. Less reactive means you have to try harder to seek pleasure. I read it in a article.

Good Luck and God bless you

 

The trouble with online is that it's hard to know whether it really is just women (and I think it's women's support you need).

What do you mean, "understimulated"? You could try to fix this by working on your relationship, and do more fun things or have better sex if that's the issue. I know often people say we can't change, but we can. You're trying to. I think it's possible to bring you and your fiance closer and by talking to him I'm sure you can achieve that. There's no need to tell him you've had thoughts about this other man. But if you need him to somehow be different, talk to him about it.

Please don't cheat on him. That'll be bad for both of you.

 

Okay, that helps.

You obviously need treatment for the agoraphobia and mental health issues, and some way to help you be out more with people. You need some friends. I think you need to seriously address these things, and I think that'll help your relationship issues and problems with porn and thoughts about sex.

 

Yoga, pilates, dance.

 

Some people use relationships to medicate themselves. The chemicals that are released at the beginning of a relationship are much different than the ones that are released later in a relationship. The excitement of starting a new relationship can motivate someone to keep cycling through new partners in a vain attempt to medicate their negative feelings. The root cause can be chemical (depression or anxiety) or emotional (childhood abuse or neglect).

A much more serious problem is called Love Addiction. Here are some warning signs from https://www.addiction.com/addiction-a-to-z/love-addiction/love-addiction-101/

• Mistaking sexual and/or romantic intensity for love and genuine, lasting intimacy
• Feeling desperate and alone when not in a relationship
• Missing out on important commitments (with family, work or elsewhere) to search for a new relationship
• Seeking a new relationship while still in a relationship
• Constantly struggling to maintain the sexual/romantic intensity of an existing relationship
• Feigning interest in activities that aren’t enjoyable as a way to keep a partner or meet someone new
• Relying on romantic intensity as a way to escape from stress and other types of emotional discomfort

Lastly, there is an even greater danger lurking over the horizon. Addicts need to escalate in order to get that same medicated feeling. You admit that you are interested in someone who is a known abuser. That added level of excitement and danger can give you that new lightning-bolt-the-the-brain feeling. But eventually, you will tire of that relationship and be in an even worse situation. If you have a sex addiction, then it can escalate into anonymous sex, risky sex, paid sex, sex for trade, exhibitionist sex, degrading sex, or intrusive sex. Check this out to see if your symptoms line up with this kind of addiction: https://www.hypersexualdisorders.com/types-hypersexual-disorders/