What I've learned about urges after 90 days

Pmo is in the past · Mar 17, 2018

I will embrace the urges !

SharkBait · Mar 18, 2018

My new hero!

yazy · Mar 18, 2018

Thanks a ton. Your post is really motivating.

DerNeuMann · Mar 18, 2018

Commuter said: ↑

Boss mode! Are you from Germany?
Click to expand...

No. The avatar is German but it's the meaning that's important.

Deleted Account · Mar 27, 2018

This is actually one of the most informative posts I've ever seen. More fapstronauts struggling with urges should come see this beaughtiful post.

Now it's starting to make more sense that urges won't go away since it's part of our primal desire to reproduce and stuff. But the thing is though, your right about using the urges to do productive things because that's an absolute must! The reason why people keep relapsing is because they're just trying not to fap but living the same lifestyle which leads to a relapse.

This is useful shit because I'm starting to get urges despite being in a flatline which is crazy (around 8 months in maybe?). I'm almost 250 days in but it must be a sign of recovery, right? It's gotta be. Anyways, amazing post! Keep going on your journey and inspire more people like me!

Iamworthit · Mar 27, 2018

One thing I've been learning more and more is to look at sobriety at the presence of positive things and not the absence of negative ones. The energy needs to be refocused or else it will always drain you in the background. Stay strong y'all!

hydroxide · Mar 27, 2018

DerNeuMann said: ↑

90 DAY UPDATE - Important Stuff I've Learned That Can Help You

I originally posted this on my Progressive Challenge thread but a couple of the fapstronauts there suggested that others might be motivated by it. So here it is.

Thank you all for being here and I admire your determination and I am always moved by how difficult this is for all of us. Yes, extremely difficult for me, too. Stopping pmo is surely the hardest thing many or most of you have ever done in your lives. For me, it's been worth the trouble.

Well, I can hardly believe it. 90 days seemed absolutely impossible when I started back in October. I had never managed more than 60 days one other time and 30 days a couple of other times. Otherwise, it had always been streaks anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks. But then I learned about yourbrainonporn.com and this community and they were big game changers for me. It has still been challenging. I've also had many of the nice benefits and you can read about those in some of my earlier updates. Those are truly worth the trouble, by the way. I have such amazing focus and learning capability right now that it's crazy!

Here's what I've learned that may alter how you approach this. It's a bad news/good news sort of thing.

1. Bad News - For those of you waiting for that magic day when the urges go away, stop holding your breath. They don't go away. At all. Don't stop reading here and don't get depressed because this ends up also being part of the good news, okay?
However you are defining urges, let's agree that the common component of any of those definitions is arousal, often accompanied by a real strong desire to orgasm. Yeah, none of that goes away except during flatlines. But...
2. Good News - What happens is that from about 30 days on, you start to get used to the urges! That's right! You start to get used to having them and I'm even now kind of enjoying them! You also get better at being able to handle them and get past them.

This next bit is for the guys (no offense to the women who might be reading this but guys have their unique sets of problems, too). Men, having urges and wood is just a natural part of having testosterone and other androgens surging through your body. It's part of being a man and they are natural. The difference between you and those guys who don't have a pmo addiction is that you fap your urges away, believing that you're fapping your stress away. Other than very temporarily, you're not.

Guess what you are actually fapping away? Your manhood. Your desire to meet your obligations and carry out your responsibilities. Your mojo to talk to girls. Your self-esteem. Your feeling of masculinity. Your time. Your relationships. Your happiness. It leads to a lot of your stress and social anxiety, which then leads to procrastination and more stress, fapping and even depression.

Why is it so damned difficult? Why suffer the torture of urges in order to beat pmo?

For many or most of us, the pmo cycle has become a compulsion, meaning our brain's limbic system takes over and we can't stop ourselves once triggered without a lot of difficulty. You can read more about this in the education section of this website. I recommend that you do.

But in addition to the compulsion, the urges are so strong because most of us really never allowed the urges to build before. We always fapped the urges away. Guess what? In the same way that the so-called non-fap "superpower benefits" are just qualities we would have if we weren't pmo addicts, the urges are also what we would have if we weren't pmo addicts.

Instead of fearing them and fapping them away, use the urges for mojo! This is what those successful youtube Fapstronauts like Elisha Long mean then they talk about transforming or transmuting the sexual energy. Boys fap the urges away. Men use the urges to get stuff done, mojo for talking to girls and getting themselves out of their comfort zones and positive energy for conquering the world through a career or for getting good at stuff like climbing, etc.

Bottom line: Don't fear the urges. Don't fap the urges away. Use them to exercise and do amazing stuff!! If you feel the urge to fap, drop and give as many sets of 10 stomach crunches as you can, holding each one 5 seconds--you'll build amazing abs. Use the mojo to call up that girl you like. Use the energy to go to the gym or pay the bills you've been putting off or clean out your messy car or whatever! Anything but looking at porn, which leads to M, which leads to binge, which leads to feeling like crap, which leads to looking at porn, which leads to M, etc.

This is, in my experience, what the 90 days is about. Learning to embrace the urges. Enjoy feeling aroused! Enjoy feeling like a stud! Don't fap that arousal away! Get off your ass and get something accomplished. That will build your confidence like crazy!!! Self-esteem and self-confidence come from accomplishing things. You have NEVER accomplished anything bigger or more impressive than beating pmo (unless you've conquered another addiction). If you can conquer this, you can conquer ANYTHING life throws at you.

Yes! It's sheer torture, especially after the flatline stage. That testosterone surge after the big, horrible flatline is when you need to start doing something with your time. I ended my big, horrible flatline at day 32. On day 33 was my very first post on this site and since then I've been keeping my thread humming like a machine with positivity and compassion. That's how I spend my time that I would have previously been fapping. Now after 90 days, I'm going to start backing off a bit from this thread and start attacking things I need and want to do in my life!! My urges are still strong (maybe stronger since I have so much more testosterone and other androgens zooming through my body) but I now HATE porn and refuse to look at it. I don't want to M habitually ever again. There's no going back, you see.

As one of the thread members said yesterday, at this point, nofap becomes a lifestyle rather than a hope. Even if I were to give in and M once or twice in the next few months, I know that there is NO WAY I'm ever going back to my former habitually fappy self. That boy is gone for good as far as I'm concerned and I have no intention of giving up the man with all his benefits. No thanks.

Keep working everyone. Embrace the urges and use them to beat pmo. I'm proof that you can do it. EVERY STREAK IS A GOOD STREAK!!! Use every streak to build your strategies and ability to get used to urges and avoid triggers. Hide your stupid phones while you're at it. Seriously.

Focus on the streaks and don't despair at relapses. Keep track of every day you don't fap and watch your calendar get filled with streak days. You've got this!!
Click to expand...

Very insightful and encouraging! This will really help me, along with many others who have seen it!

Puretim · Mar 28, 2018

DerNeuMann said: ↑

90 DAY UPDATE - Important Stuff I've Learned That Can Help You

I originally posted this on my Progressive Challenge thread but a couple of the fapstronauts there suggested that others might be motivated by it. So here it is.

Thank you all for being here and I admire your determination and I am always moved by how difficult this is for all of us. Yes, extremely difficult for me, too. Stopping pmo is surely the hardest thing many or most of you have ever done in your lives. For me, it's been worth the trouble.

Well, I can hardly believe it. 90 days seemed absolutely impossible when I started back in October. I had never managed more than 60 days one other time and 30 days a couple of other times. Otherwise, it had always been streaks anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks. But then I learned about yourbrainonporn.com and this community and they were big game changers for me. It has still been challenging. I've also had many of the nice benefits and you can read about those in some of my earlier updates. Those are truly worth the trouble, by the way. I have such amazing focus and learning capability right now that it's crazy!

Here's what I've learned that may alter how you approach this. It's a bad news/good news sort of thing.

1. Bad News - For those of you waiting for that magic day when the urges go away, stop holding your breath. They don't go away. At all. Don't stop reading here and don't get depressed because this ends up also being part of the good news, okay?
However you are defining urges, let's agree that the common component of any of those definitions is arousal, often accompanied by a real strong desire to orgasm. Yeah, none of that goes away except during flatlines. But...
2. Good News - What happens is that from about 30 days on, you start to get used to the urges! That's right! You start to get used to having them and I'm even now kind of enjoying them! You also get better at being able to handle them and get past them.

This next bit is for the guys (no offense to the women who might be reading this but guys have their unique sets of problems, too). Men, having urges and wood is just a natural part of having testosterone and other androgens surging through your body. It's part of being a man and they are natural. The difference between you and those guys who don't have a pmo addiction is that you fap your urges away, believing that you're fapping your stress away. Other than very temporarily, you're not.

Guess what you are actually fapping away? Your manhood. Your desire to meet your obligations and carry out your responsibilities. Your mojo to talk to girls. Your self-esteem. Your feeling of masculinity. Your time. Your relationships. Your happiness. It leads to a lot of your stress and social anxiety, which then leads to procrastination and more stress, fapping and even depression.

Why is it so damned difficult? Why suffer the torture of urges in order to beat pmo?

For many or most of us, the pmo cycle has become a compulsion, meaning our brain's limbic system takes over and we can't stop ourselves once triggered without a lot of difficulty. You can read more about this in the education section of this website. I recommend that you do.

But in addition to the compulsion, the urges are so strong because most of us really never allowed the urges to build before. We always fapped the urges away. Guess what? In the same way that the so-called non-fap "superpower benefits" are just qualities we would have if we weren't pmo addicts, the urges are also what we would have if we weren't pmo addicts.

Instead of fearing them and fapping them away, use the urges for mojo! This is what those successful youtube Fapstronauts like Elisha Long mean then they talk about transforming or transmuting the sexual energy. Boys fap the urges away. Men use the urges to get stuff done, mojo for talking to girls and getting themselves out of their comfort zones and positive energy for conquering the world through a career or for getting good at stuff like climbing, etc.

Bottom line: Don't fear the urges. Don't fap the urges away. Use them to exercise and do amazing stuff!! If you feel the urge to fap, drop and give as many sets of 10 stomach crunches as you can, holding each one 5 seconds--you'll build amazing abs. Use the mojo to call up that girl you like. Use the energy to go to the gym or pay the bills you've been putting off or clean out your messy car or whatever! Anything but looking at porn, which leads to M, which leads to binge, which leads to feeling like crap, which leads to looking at porn, which leads to M, etc.

This is, in my experience, what the 90 days is about. Learning to embrace the urges. Enjoy feeling aroused! Enjoy feeling like a stud! Don't fap that arousal away! Get off your ass and get something accomplished. That will build your confidence like crazy!!! Self-esteem and self-confidence come from accomplishing things. You have NEVER accomplished anything bigger or more impressive than beating pmo (unless you've conquered another addiction). If you can conquer this, you can conquer ANYTHING life throws at you.

Yes! It's sheer torture, especially after the flatline stage. That testosterone surge after the big, horrible flatline is when you need to start doing something with your time. I ended my big, horrible flatline at day 32. On day 33 was my very first post on this site and since then I've been keeping my thread humming like a machine with positivity and compassion. That's how I spend my time that I would have previously been fapping. Now after 90 days, I'm going to start backing off a bit from this thread and start attacking things I need and want to do in my life!! My urges are still strong (maybe stronger since I have so much more testosterone and other androgens zooming through my body) but I now HATE porn and refuse to look at it. I don't want to M habitually ever again. There's no going back, you see.

As one of the thread members said yesterday, at this point, nofap becomes a lifestyle rather than a hope. Even if I were to give in and M once or twice in the next few months, I know that there is NO WAY I'm ever going back to my former habitually fappy self. That boy is gone for good as far as I'm concerned and I have no intention of giving up the man with all his benefits. No thanks.

Keep working everyone. Embrace the urges and use them to beat pmo. I'm proof that you can do it. EVERY STREAK IS A GOOD STREAK!!! Use every streak to build your strategies and ability to get used to urges and avoid triggers. Hide your stupid phones while you're at it. Seriously.

Focus on the streaks and don't despair at relapses. Keep track of every day you don't fap and watch your calendar get filled with streak days. You've got this!!
Click to expand...

Excellent post. Though when you say the urges never go away you're only speaking of your own experience up until now. What the future holds and the experience of others may be very different. Also I don't think having a solid hard on necessarily makes it an urge to masturbate .There are techniques and exercises one can do in the moment of heat that allegedly raise the energy to higher levels and eliminate any urge for release. Thanks for the post. Overall I found it very inspiring. Guys like you show me what's possible for me. Many thanks

DerNeuMann · Mar 28, 2018

Puretim said: ↑

Excellent post. Though when you say the urges never go away you're only speaking of your own experience up until now. What the future holds and the experience of others may be very different. Also I don't think having a solid hard on necessarily makes it an urge to masturbate .There are techniques and exercises one can do in the moment of heat that allegedly raise the energy to higher levels and eliminate any urge for release. Thanks for the post. Overall I found it very inspiring. Guys like you show me what's possible for me. Many thanks
Click to expand...

Thank you for your reply and I am grateful that you found it inspiring. Regarding your points, I am now long past 90 days, about 6 months in. I stand by what I wrote. For the majority of people here, if not all, pmo addiction isn't their problem but a symptom of their problem(s). Also, I believe I used the word "arousal," which includes multiple indicators. I didn't say anything about an erection. For the sake of accuracy.

Puretim · Mar 29, 2018

DerNeuMann said: ↑

Thank you for your reply and I am grateful that you found it inspiring. Regarding your points, I am now long past 90 days, about 6 months in. I stand by what I wrote. For the majority of people here, if not all, pmo addiction isn't their problem but a symptom of their problem(s). Also, I believe I used the word "arousal," which includes multiple indicators. I didn't say anything about an erection. For the sake of accuracy.
Click to expand...

i stand corrected on the arrousal issue.: )

JakeLange · Mar 29, 2018

This gives me a lot of hope, being that I just began my counter yesterday. Thanks for sharing!

Todd75 · Mar 29, 2018

First day of really strong urges. So I came here and found this thread. I am grateful for this support network and the stories that have helped me to stay with the goal. There is too much to lose by giving in.

R.I.I.P.E.R · Mar 31, 2018

DerNeuMann said: ↑

Guess what you are actually fapping away? Your manhood.
Click to expand...

NAILED IT BROTHER!!

R.I.I.P.E.R · Mar 31, 2018

DerNeuMann said: ↑

90 DAY UPDATE - Important Stuff I've Learned That Can Help You

I originally posted this on my Progressive Challenge thread but a couple of the fapstronauts there suggested that others might be motivated by it. So here it is.

Thank you all for being here and I admire your determination and I am always moved by how difficult this is for all of us. Yes, extremely difficult for me, too. Stopping pmo is surely the hardest thing many or most of you have ever done in your lives. For me, it's been worth the trouble.

Well, I can hardly believe it. 90 days seemed absolutely impossible when I started back in October. I had never managed more than 60 days one other time and 30 days a couple of other times. Otherwise, it had always been streaks anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks. But then I learned about yourbrainonporn.com and this community and they were big game changers for me. It has still been challenging. I've also had many of the nice benefits and you can read about those in some of my earlier updates. Those are truly worth the trouble, by the way. I have such amazing focus and learning capability right now that it's crazy!

Here's what I've learned that may alter how you approach this. It's a bad news/good news sort of thing.

1. Bad News - For those of you waiting for that magic day when the urges go away, stop holding your breath. They don't go away. At all. Don't stop reading here and don't get depressed because this ends up also being part of the good news, okay?
However you are defining urges, let's agree that the common component of any of those definitions is arousal, often accompanied by a real strong desire to orgasm. Yeah, none of that goes away except during flatlines. But...
2. Good News - What happens is that from about 30 days on, you start to get used to the urges! That's right! You start to get used to having them and I'm even now kind of enjoying them! You also get better at being able to handle them and get past them.

This next bit is for the guys (no offense to the women who might be reading this but guys have their unique sets of problems, too). Men, having urges and wood is just a natural part of having testosterone and other androgens surging through your body. It's part of being a man and they are natural. The difference between you and those guys who don't have a pmo addiction is that you fap your urges away, believing that you're fapping your stress away. Other than very temporarily, you're not.

Guess what you are actually fapping away? Your manhood. Your desire to meet your obligations and carry out your responsibilities. Your mojo to talk to girls. Your self-esteem. Your feeling of masculinity. Your time. Your relationships. Your happiness. It leads to a lot of your stress and social anxiety, which then leads to procrastination and more stress, fapping and even depression.

Why is it so damned difficult? Why suffer the torture of urges in order to beat pmo?

For many or most of us, the pmo cycle has become a compulsion, meaning our brain's limbic system takes over and we can't stop ourselves once triggered without a lot of difficulty. You can read more about this in the education section of this website. I recommend that you do.

But in addition to the compulsion, the urges are so strong because most of us really never allowed the urges to build before. We always fapped the urges away. Guess what? In the same way that the so-called non-fap "superpower benefits" are just qualities we would have if we weren't pmo addicts, the urges are also what we would have if we weren't pmo addicts.

Instead of fearing them and fapping them away, use the urges for mojo! This is what those successful youtube Fapstronauts like Elisha Long mean then they talk about transforming or transmuting the sexual energy. Boys fap the urges away. Men use the urges to get stuff done, mojo for talking to girls and getting themselves out of their comfort zones and positive energy for conquering the world through a career or for getting good at stuff like climbing, etc.

Bottom line: Don't fear the urges. Don't fap the urges away. Use them to exercise and do amazing stuff!! If you feel the urge to fap, drop and give as many sets of 10 stomach crunches as you can, holding each one 5 seconds--you'll build amazing abs. Use the mojo to call up that girl you like. Use the energy to go to the gym or pay the bills you've been putting off or clean out your messy car or whatever! Anything but looking at porn, which leads to M, which leads to binge, which leads to feeling like crap, which leads to looking at porn, which leads to M, etc.

This is, in my experience, what the 90 days is about. Learning to embrace the urges. Enjoy feeling aroused! Enjoy feeling like a stud! Don't fap that arousal away! Get off your ass and get something accomplished. That will build your confidence like crazy!!! Self-esteem and self-confidence come from accomplishing things. You have NEVER accomplished anything bigger or more impressive than beating pmo (unless you've conquered another addiction). If you can conquer this, you can conquer ANYTHING life throws at you.

Yes! It's sheer torture, especially after the flatline stage. That testosterone surge after the big, horrible flatline is when you need to start doing something with your time. I ended my big, horrible flatline at day 32. On day 33 was my very first post on this site and since then I've been keeping my thread humming like a machine with positivity and compassion. That's how I spend my time that I would have previously been fapping. Now after 90 days, I'm going to start backing off a bit from this thread and start attacking things I need and want to do in my life!! My urges are still strong (maybe stronger since I have so much more testosterone and other androgens zooming through my body) but I now HATE porn and refuse to look at it. I don't want to M habitually ever again. There's no going back, you see.

As one of the thread members said yesterday, at this point, nofap becomes a lifestyle rather than a hope. Even if I were to give in and M once some time in the future (I don't recommend it, btw), I know that there is NO WAY I'm ever going back to my former habitually fappy self. That boy is gone for good as far as I'm concerned and I have no intention of giving up the man with all his benefits. No thanks.

Keep working everyone. Embrace the urges and use them to beat pmo. I'm proof that you can do it. EVERY STREAK IS A GOOD STREAK!!! Use every streak to build your strategies and ability to get used to urges and avoid triggers. Hide your stupid phones while you're at it. Seriously.

Focus on the streaks and don't despair at relapses. Keep track of every day you don't fap and watch your calendar get filled with streak days. You've got this!!
Click to expand...

This thread needs to be bookmarked!! thank you brother
LOTS OF LOVE,peace and respect

Much Ado About Nutting · Mar 31, 2018

Very good post on what to do about urges. Will use this as a strategy when the urges come. Thank you

IronDog · Mar 31, 2018

I needed to read that. It seems pretty impossible right now. I’m glad I found this site and people like you sharing what I might be able to accomplish.

nopmo101 · May 13, 2018

Really good post. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

DerNeuMann · May 21, 2018

So pleased that guys are still being helped by this post!

Atrium_Guy · May 21, 2018

Yea really great post man - totally inspiring and a lot of Truth. Transmuting urges into different thoughts and behaviors is the key. Its ALL just energy - and when we do NoFap we start to gain conscious control over how we express our energy. When old 'thoughts' pop up that have us conditioned to seek fapping, we can stop, breathe, simply FEEL it as energy, and then USE it for something more productive and nourishing. This practice is the biggest game changer and how we really transform our lives.....thanks again for sharing!

rafaeloey · May 21, 2018

Thank youuuu so much, this gave me motivation and a valuable lesson. Congratulation on your achievement!

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What I've learned about urges after 90 days

Pmo is in the past Fapstronaut

SharkBait Fapstronaut

yazy Fapstronaut

DerNeuMann Fapstronaut

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Iamworthit Fapstronaut

hydroxide Fapstronaut

Puretim Fapstronaut

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DerNeuMann Fapstronaut

Puretim Fapstronaut

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JakeLange Fapstronaut

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R.I.I.P.E.R Fapstronaut

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