My Pornography Journey.

Hello everyone, my name is Emmanuel, I am 21 years old.
I saw pornography for the first time when I was around 11 years but started using pornography to attain sexual pleasure, through masturbation, at age 14, and it has grown since then into a dragon that needs to be slayed. Like every young person who encounters pornography, I initially found it magical even though I knew it was wrong 'cause I was brought up in a Christian home. The more I viewed it, the more I wanted and the less satisfaction I got from the exercise. After a while, I came to realise that pornography was responsible for much of the problems I had, and so I decided I had to stop. However, despite my best efforts and intentions, I kept falling back into its trap. Liberation from it seems like a far-fetched idea.
Towards the end of 2017, I planned not to use porn in 2018. I started a 90-day purity plan, and it seemed to be working well, but after 22 days (January 7th, 2018), I probably told myself the worst lie ever: That I'd look at porn once and go back to my plan. That decision turned out to be a huge mistake and from that moment I've looked at porn and masturbated, at least, 5 times in the last 10 days. It's been extremely painful, as well as shameful, as I thought I was really on the road to liberation.
The positive thing is that I'm here on NoFap, which was a result of the relapse. I have seen enough here to feel optimistic about my chances that, really!, liberation from PMO is achievable.

 

Hey @Toughboy,

My ESH is that this is a program of action and that meant work for me. It is not about "not doing something", for me, it was about working my program.

There is so much support on this forum, the profiles and the various groups. It works if you work it. I don't offer advise. I offer only my ESH (experience, strength and hope).

Work it? Oh yeah. There's work to be done, that's what's worked for me. Two things I've found necessary.

1. I had to Learn the NoFap Program.

2. Getting involved with the community on here was vital to help my recovery.

Learn the NoFap Program
The resources listed on the "New Users: List of Rebooting Resources" helped me find my way around the reasons behind the program and the terms used.

They are:

• Download the free Getting Started guide.
• Set up a PMO-Counter Badge. More info here!
• Basic introduction to the science of porn addiction!
• Basic information about rebooting and how our challenges can help you recover from PMO. This is the most important page to read. If you only can read one page, read this one.
• About NoFap.
• Watch this video - it is an epic intro resource if you want to get particular details about porn addiction and how it changes how your brain works.
• This is a good light-weight video about porn addiction.
• Read through the journal sections and see what other rebooters have experienced. It is good to know what to expect, otherwise the "chaser effect", "the surge", or the "flatline" might throw you off.
• If you come across vocabulary that you can't understand, check out our rebooting glossary of terms.
• GET ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR HABITS! Sign up for a peer accountability partner. Otherwise if you want more professional-hosted solutions, check out NoFap Premium or Reboot Camp. If you can afford to invest in yourself, these are great options.

You can find this same list on the top of the forum you posted this message on at - the "New to NoFap" forum.

Get Involved with the Community
The community has been my lifeline. I've found journals I love, people who are very supportive and a place where I could get to work helping in a small way others.

I'm nobody important around here. Just a normal user with no magic powers.

But, I can:

• Read Journals, and comment when I have ESH
• Find people I admire and stay in touch via their profiles
• Pick a forum and make sure evvery post gets and answer. I can't answer them all, but that's good - different opinions make for a better group.
• Post in my journal (I could be better at it - but I do milestone posts at least) To make a journal go to the section listed by age and start one. Keep all your journal posts in one thread. But, for random thoughts, you can create a new thread.

Looking forward to seeing you around on the forums,

* L

PS - Think of pmo like a wolf. Stay near the center of the group with the winners and the wolf has a more difficult time finding you. But, stray near the edges of the community and the wolf can pick you off.

 

One of the ways I got involved with the fellowship was by reading some really great journals.

I've included journals from all age groups, spiritual members, religious members, secular members, male and female. You should find journals that help. If not, look around, there are hundreds of others from which to choose. When I say "it works if you work it", reading journals is part of that work.

Once you open a journal, click "Watch Thread" in the upper right of the page to get alerts when new posts are made. Here are just a few:

@Sunshadow Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/75108/
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@Tomoya Okazaki Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143534/
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@2525 Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/150280/
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@Visor Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/144228/
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@Dragonnlife Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/136148
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@weddingnails Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/143418/
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@Struggle Bug Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/141911/
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@BigDawg913 Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/145872/
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@kropo82 Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/78164/
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@tet2vd Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/144513
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@Protagoras Journals at: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/109842/
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There are many more, and you can discover them on your own. But, these are great places to start.

This is a work in progress. So, if a journal has changed or is no longer active, look around there are some amazing journals on here.

* L

 

For me NoFap is 1/2 program & 1/2 fellowship. Click on these people and post a "hello" on their profiles:

@2525
@weddingnails
@PatrickR
@Beamer
@Arohamystic
@MLMVSS
@Rising Sun !!
@Ready to be healthy
@Brahmacharin
@Struggle Bug
@tet2vd
@Satchi
@BigDawg913
@zakes
@LilD
@kropo82
@DavidGibson
@SteelshoT
@Jewels
@reystronaut

Take a look at who they are exchanging messages. You will find more profiles.

* L

 

Yes it's correct. I've gone 70 plus days since this post.