I hated you all -My Book of Forgiveness

Hi, thank you for your nice words, the last days re extremely hard for me, so I needed to remember that I used to be fighter. With forgiveness, I think its still harder to forgive to ourselves like to others, isn't? Also when someone hurt us we know it well, but sometimes it tooks years to see how we alone hurts us.I destroyed myself very sucesfull years coz this whats happened me.And I just dont want do it again. All we are battling with our demons..Have you the biggest problem with forgive to you or someone else?

 

People saying me all my life, that I have talent to give them question, which they dont wanna hear so you should be happy that my English is horrible , so I m very limitated now serious, if you will want to speak about it more, maybe in private msg, I m here. If I understand it well, you are seeing how your weakness that other was hurted you ?Then my next question why you seeing it in this way.Also in my 35 I still can not get it, why all man are in obsession that they have must be a strong all the time.Also I think its very important to try stay in balance and honest. I have experience too, that in many situatons when I was seeing my self like very weak, other poeple was "wtf you are very bravery ". I started really hated myself after I was cheating and it tookes me lot of time to understand that it didnt ao much with me like with him insecurities etc. Also I was a lot that " if I never loved you" or now with my" boyfriend in pause "or how call it..lots of time I was blaming myself with " if I was attractive like before, If I wasnt so sick, If I was so skinny like were.." but also "if I never believed you, it was mistake.." bullshit ! Why I hate myself coz I love someone.. Or I believed...yes, Im not saying its easy or simple , I m not Budha I can not forgive all in one moment,but in every moment I can try.
Anyway I think that your nofap decision is great, even if I dont know your story.You deserve it. and worth for it.Stay Aweeesome !thank you again for all your words " I give you the light of Eärendil, our most beloved star .May it .."

 

...this story..so close to my soul..also is good to have one job through day and on in the night, coffee n cigarettes.. and think thay you are Superman or something ..but I know how its , was almost 16years single mum, still I m .It was maybe easier coz I had just me and my son for responsibility , not more people and I guess like I really failed.

But you are Important man, too.And tgats nit just pathetic..I did everything 16years that my son will have food and place for living and that he will be happy.And also my friends and people around me which needed helps ,I completely forgetting myself through these years and now my son has living dying mum which is not able to take care abut basically things like money fir rent etc...I guess its like on the plane, when all of you needed a mask, but you need a put it first on your face..coz then can happened that you will have any power to give it on your beloved face..But I m pretty sure that you know all these things without me.

..into the wild.. I want a caravan !but it must looks like train heh coz I hate cars and love trains yeah that not sound bad!

Have to define the issue more myself...

Its seems we are very similar in some ways, always good to find one.Nice to meet you .

 

I forget say, Slovakia, not Romania it's nearer?hope that yes ! made me smile with this and legends says that there is not better way how to start a day and I believe in legends and fairytales
I understand that..I have also mew challence to understamd that something its really over after new lies and will need start to forgive to this person .Neverending story !coz people hurt you again n again..but like Bob Marleu said "Everyone is going to hurt you , you just need a someone who worth for it "
I have a trouble with asking fir help coz all my life I had to doing everything alone but I see that I havent any another option,I was looking at gofound org, hope will able put my story there today.
Wish you a lot of power.I also drcided today thst after many years start meditate again.i m doing yoga on the chair for month and its very helping,sometimes I cry through coz emotions. Also is helpfull try to look on yhem like humans beign and for their reasons and insecurities..this is a mad world...
But we from Hobbitland we need to kee going ,man,coz~one light in the darkness~