My journey towards a better living

Champaca · Mar 16, 2018

Sorry that should say "to keep my personal energy contained"

powerful096 · Mar 16, 2018

TheLoneWoolf said: ↑

#copypaste
What I'm going to share with you guys is nothing new. You probably already read it somewhere else. But it is not given enough importance around here. People are worrying too much about porn induced ED, dopamine this and dopamine that, testosterone levels, wet dreams, etc. But not enough on how to actually beat this addiction.

This thread is not meant to be motivational. Motivation is temporary. You can watch a Nike football commercial on YouTube, get all pumped up and motivated, and then relapse 4 days later. It means nothing.

This thread is meant to give understanding. It's meant to give you the final piece of the puzzle needed in order to beat pornography addiction.

I believe, from the bottom of my heart, that anyone who understands and applies what I'm going to share here is going succeed quitting porn.

All you have to do is avoid making these 3 mistakes.

Please take your time to truly absorbwhat you're going to read next. This stuff is not obvious and many men are completely unaware of it, specially those who are new to rebooting. Successful rebooters probably won't benefit as much from this thread.

Sit down, take your time, and go grab a cup of coffee or tea, as I'm going to share with you the top 3 fatal mistakes a rebooter can make.

Mistake #1: Using Porn to Stop Feeling Bad

People who are unaware of this mistake are going to have a very difficult time quitting porn.

This is what usually happens:

You're very stressed about work or school. You spent all your day working your ass under pressure and you know that the upcoming days are going to be the same. There's pain in your body. You're mentally exhausted. You want to relax and feel good. So what do you do? Watch porn.

You go out to have fun one night. There's one girl you really like, so you try to talk to her, but she keeps ignoring you. One of your more outgoing friends keeps making her laugh with his jokes. You're jealous. You say to yourself "Fuck this shit" and start approaching other women right there. They all reject you. Even one of them said to you "Get away from me!". You go back home feeling incredibly frustrated. Your mood is very down. You start to wonder if you'll ever be able to get a beautiful girlfriend. You get temporarily depressed. It's painful. You want to escape these feelings. So what do you do? Watch porn.

You went out drinking last night. You had a lot of fun, but now you're left with a terrible hangover. You have a headache, nausea, stomach pain. You can't concentrate or do anything. You're just lying there drinking some Gatorade. Obviously, being hungover sucks. You want to stop feeling bad, at least for a few moments. So what do you do? Watch porn.

You're bored as fuck in your house. You and laziness become one. You're not in the mood for anything, not even watching a movie. Boredom, boredom, and more boredom. Who wants to feel bored? Nobody. Time runs slowly. Nothing is fun. You go to Facebook and there are no interesting updates. You refresh your favorite forums and there are no new replies to your posts. There's nothing to do. You start becoming anxious and restless. So what do you do? Watch porn.

Please, stop this.

You need to stop medicating yourself with porn every time you feel pain and discomfort.

This is ignorance to the reality of life.

Stress, depression, frustration, hangovers, boredom, injuries, physical pain, anxiety, embarassment. You know what they are? You know what they're called?

They're called LIFE.

Do not run away from life. Do not run away from reality.

We will never become happy if we keep doing this.

In Buddhism this is called aversion. Running away from pain. Running away from discomfort.

All these bad feelings are temporary. Boredom, stress, hangovers, feeling down. They will all pass.

If we keep taking refuge in porn and running away from pain and discomfort then we will never be able to grow as persons and become real men.

We need to break out of this cycle. Or at the very least try to.

Otherwise, what are you going to do when things get tough in life? Hide in your room? Become depressed?

What are you going to do when you realize that hitting on girls brings up a lot of anxiety and nervousness? Run away? Make excuses?

What are you going to do when you're stuck in a traffic jam for 2 hours and you're hungry as fuck? Complain? Hit the horn endlessly?

What are you going to do when you realize that losing weight isn't as easy as you thought it would be? Give up? Binge on junk food?

We need to stop using porn as a pain reliever.

We need to face reality, not run from it.

Please understand what I'm talking about here. If you do then you will be able to identify every time you're using porn as an escape.

Read carefully the following text taken from In the Buddha's Words:

The first of these distinctions, drawn in Text I,2(1), revolves around the response to painful feelings. Both the worldling and the noble disciple experience painful bodily feelings, but they respond to these feelings differently. The worldling reacts to them with aversion and therefore, on top of the painful bodily feeling, also experiences a painful mental feeling: sorrow, resentment, or distress. The noble disciple, when afflicted with bodily pain, endures such feeling patiently, without sorrow, resentment, or distress. It is commonly assumed that physical and mental pain are inseparably linked, but the Buddha makes a clear demarcation between the two. He holds that while bodily existence is inevitably bound up with physical pain, such pain need not trigger the emotional reactions of misery, fear, resentment, and distress with which we habitually respond to it. Through mental training we can develop the mindfulness and clear comprehension necessary to endure physical pain courageously, with patience and equanimity. Through insight we can develop sufficient wisdom to overcome our dread of painful feelings and our need to seek relief in distracting binges of sensual self indulgence.

“Monks, when the uninstructed worldling experiences a painful feeling, he sorrows, grieves, and laments; he weeps beating his breast and becomes distraught. He feels two feelings—a bodily one and a mental one. Suppose they were to strike a man with a dart, and then strike him immediately afterward with a second dart, so that the man would feel a feeling caused by two darts. So too, when the uninstructed worldling experiences a painful feeling, he feels two feelings—a bodily one and a mental one.

“While experiencing that same painful feeling, he harbors aversion toward it. When he harbors aversion toward painful feeling, the underlying tendency to aversion toward painful feeling lies behind this. While experiencing painful feeling, he seeks delight in sensual pleasure. For what reason? Because the uninstructed worldling does not know of any escape from painful feeling other than sensual pleasure. When he seeks delight in sensual pleasure, the underlying tendency to lust for pleasant feeling lies behind this. He does not understand as it really is the origin and the passing away, the gratification, the danger, and the escape in the case of these feelings. When he does not understand these things, the underlying tendency to ignorance in regard to neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling lies behind this.

“If he feels a pleasant feeling, he feels it attached. If he feels a painful feeling, he feels it attached. If he feels a neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling, he feels it attached. This, monks, is called an uninstructed worldling who is attached to birth, aging, and death; who is attached to sorrow, lamentation, pain, dejection, and despair; who is attached to suffering, I say.

“Monks, when the instructed noble disciple experiences a painful feeling, he does not sorrow, grieve, or lament; he does not weep beating his breast and become distraught. He feels one feeling—a bodily one, not a mental one. Suppose they were to strike a man with a dart, but they would not strike him immediately afterward with a second dart, so that the man would feel a feeling caused by one dart only. So too, when the instructed noble disciple experiences a painful feeling, he feels one feeling—a bodily one, and not a mental one.

“While experiencing that same painful feeling, he harbors no aversion toward it. Since he harbors no aversion toward painful feeling, the underlying tendency to aversion toward painful feeling does not lie behind this. While experiencing painful feeling, he does not seek delight in sensual pleasure. For what reason? Because the instructed noble disciple knows of an escape from painful feeling other than sensual pleasure. Since he does not seek delight in sensual pleasure, the underlying tendency to lust for pleasant feeling does not lie behind this. He understands as it really is the origin and the passing away, the gratification, the danger, and the escape in the case of these feelings. Since he understands these things, the underlying tendency to ignorance in regard to neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling does not lie behind this.

“If he feels a pleasant feeling, he feels it detached. If he feels a painful feeling, he feels it detached. If he feels a neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling, he feels it detached. This, monks, is called a noble disciple who is detached from birth, aging, and death; who is detached from sorrow, lamentation, pain, dejection, and despair; who is detached from suffering, I say.

“This, monks, is the distinction, the disparity, the difference between the instructed noble disciple and the uninstructed worldling.”

(SN 36:6; IV 207–10)

Mistake #2: Being Hard On Yourself Every Time You Relapse

Ok, so you just "relapsed".

Calm down. Breathe.

Stop the drama. Stop the "I'm so sick of this" comments.

Don't get angry. Don't feel guilty.

It won't do you any good.

I made this mistake so many times in the past.

Read my journal. I was a "chronic relapser" as others have said.

Here's what usually happens:

A guy relapses and masturbates to porn. He couldn't take it anymore and had an hour long porn session. After he's done, he feels terrible with himself. He comes to the forum and posts on his journal.

"What a fucking pussy I am"

"I can't believe I gave in, how will I ever beat this?"

"I've had enough of this shit"

"My life is a mess"

Sometimes he feels angry. Sometimes he feels guilty. Sometimes he feels down. He takes relapse very seriously and ends up feeling very bad with himself. He then goes and commits mistake #1 in order to stop feeling bad, which in turn will make him feel more bad afterwards. So he binges until he's completely depleted. Then he tries rebooting again, remaining completely unaware of his mistake. Some days later he relapses and once again goes hard on himself, unable to break free of this cycle.

Listen, the next time you relapse, don't be hard on yourself. Calm down. Open your "relapse spreadsheet" (which I believe everyone should have) and mark the current date with an X. Then calmly get back on track as soon as possible. Minimize your binge as much as you can. You're not back to zero every time you watch porn.

There is this damaging belief in the forum that success is measured by how many straight days you go without porn.

Please understand. Let's use some common sense here.

If a guy goes from watching porn every day to watching porn 3-4 times a month, then he's already successful.

Why would a guy like him be so hard on himself every time he relapses? It just doesn't make any sense. He's way ahead millions of men around the world who are completely hooked on porn.

All he needs to do is keep trying to reduce the amount of relapses per month. That's why I believe having a spreadsheet is crucial. It will give him some perspective on how much he has progressed.

With time he will discover that the chaser effect loses its strength. Getting back on track after relapsing gets easier and easier.

He might or might not be able to get into the Hall of Fame, but it doesn't matter. The addiction no longer has control over him.

That, my friends, is true success.

And the mere fact that you're a member of this forum and you're trying to leave porn behind is enough reason to be proud and stop beating yourself up.

Mistake #3: Focusing Too Much On NOT Watching Porn

Guess what?

If you're thinking about not watching porn, you're thinking about porn.

As long as porn is in your mind, you will have a lot of trouble letting it go.

The correct approach is to just forget about it.

Stop obsessing about what day you're on.

Stop posting on your journal stuff like "Omg quitting porn is so difficult, the urges are so strong!"

Stop hanging out too much on this forum.

Just forget about porn. Disregard it as an option in your life.

Focus your mind on the stuff that matters. Your family, your dreams, your health, your career.

When urges arise, watch them mindfully. Observe them. Do not react. Do not suppress them. Do not push them away.

Just kindly smile and focus your mind on something else.

Watching porn is not an option. It's not a part of your life anymore.

It's a thing of the past
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powerful096 · Mar 31, 2018

DerNeuMann said: ↑

90 DAY UPDATE - Important Stuff I've Learned That Can Help You

I originally posted this on my Progressive Challenge thread but a couple of the fapstronauts there suggested that others might be motivated by it. So here it is.

Thank you all for being here and I admire your determination and I am always moved by how difficult this is for all of us. Yes, extremely difficult for me, too. Stopping pmo is surely the hardest thing many or most of you have ever done in your lives. For me, it's been worth the trouble.

Well, I can hardly believe it. 90 days seemed absolutely impossible when I started back in October. I had never managed more than 60 days one other time and 30 days a couple of other times. Otherwise, it had always been streaks anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks. But then I learned about yourbrainonporn.com and this community and they were big game changers for me. It has still been challenging. I've also had many of the nice benefits and you can read about those in some of my earlier updates. Those are truly worth the trouble, by the way. I have such amazing focus and learning capability right now that it's crazy!

Here's what I've learned that may alter how you approach this. It's a bad news/good news sort of thing.

1. Bad News - For those of you waiting for that magic day when the urges go away, stop holding your breath. They don't go away. At all. Don't stop reading here and don't get depressed because this ends up also being part of the good news, okay?
However you are defining urges, let's agree that the common component of any of those definitions is arousal, often accompanied by a real strong desire to orgasm. Yeah, none of that goes away except during flatlines. But...
2. Good News - What happens is that from about 30 days on, you start to get used to the urges! That's right! You start to get used to having them and I'm even now kind of enjoying them! You also get better at being able to handle them and get past them.

This next bit is for the guys (no offense to the women who might be reading this but guys have their unique sets of problems, too). Men, having urges and wood is just a natural part of having testosterone and other androgens surging through your body. It's part of being a man and they are natural. The difference between you and those guys who don't have a pmo addiction is that you fap your urges away, believing that you're fapping your stress away. Other than very temporarily, you're not.

Guess what you are actually fapping away? Your manhood. Your desire to meet your obligations and carry out your responsibilities. Your mojo to talk to girls. Your self-esteem. Your feeling of masculinity. Your time. Your relationships. Your happiness. It leads to a lot of your stress and social anxiety, which then leads to procrastination and more stress, fapping and even depression.

Why is it so damned difficult? Why suffer the torture of urges in order to beat pmo?

For many or most of us, the pmo cycle has become a compulsion, meaning our brain's limbic system takes over and we can't stop ourselves once triggered without a lot of difficulty. You can read more about this in the education section of this website. I recommend that you do.

But in addition to the compulsion, the urges are so strong because most of us really never allowed the urges to build before. We always fapped the urges away. Guess what? In the same way that the so-called non-fap "superpower benefits" are just qualities we would have if we weren't pmo addicts, the urges are also what we would have if we weren't pmo addicts.

Instead of fearing them and fapping them away, use the urges for mojo! This is what those successful youtube Fapstronauts like Elisha Long mean then they talk about transforming or transmuting the sexual energy. Boys fap the urges away. Men use the urges to get stuff done, mojo for talking to girls and getting themselves out of their comfort zones and positive energy for conquering the world through a career or for getting good at stuff like climbing, etc.

Bottom line: Don't fear the urges. Don't fap the urges away. Use them to exercise and do amazing stuff!! If you feel the urge to fap, drop and give as many sets of 10 stomach crunches as you can, holding each one 5 seconds--you'll build amazing abs. Use the mojo to call up that girl you like. Use the energy to go to the gym or pay the bills you've been putting off or clean out your messy car or whatever! Anything but looking at porn, which leads to M, which leads to binge, which leads to feeling like crap, which leads to looking at porn, which leads to M, etc.

This is, in my experience, what the 90 days is about. Learning to embrace the urges. Enjoy feeling aroused! Enjoy feeling like a stud! Don't fap that arousal away! Get off your ass and get something accomplished. That will build your confidence like crazy!!! Self-esteem and self-confidence come from accomplishing things. You have NEVER accomplished anything bigger or more impressive than beating pmo (unless you've conquered another addiction). If you can conquer this, you can conquer ANYTHING life throws at you.

Yes! It's sheer torture, especially after the flatline stage. That testosterone surge after the big, horrible flatline is when you need to start doing something with your time. I ended my big, horrible flatline at day 32. On day 33 was my very first post on this site and since then I've been keeping my thread humming like a machine with positivity and compassion. That's how I spend my time that I would have previously been fapping. Now after 90 days, I'm going to start backing off a bit from this thread and start attacking things I need and want to do in my life!! My urges are still strong (maybe stronger since I have so much more testosterone and other androgens zooming through my body) but I now HATE porn and refuse to look at it. I don't want to M habitually ever again. There's no going back, you see.

As one of the thread members said yesterday, at this point, nofap becomes a lifestyle rather than a hope. Even if I were to give in and M once some time in the future (I don't recommend it, btw), I know that there is NO WAY I'm ever going back to my former habitually fappy self. That boy is gone for good as far as I'm concerned and I have no intention of giving up the man with all his benefits. No thanks.

Keep working everyone. Embrace the urges and use them to beat pmo. I'm proof that you can do it. EVERY STREAK IS A GOOD STREAK!!! Use every streak to build your strategies and ability to get used to urges and avoid triggers. Hide your stupid phones while you're at it. Seriously.

Focus on the streaks and don't despair at relapses. Keep track of every day you don't fap and watch your calendar get filled with streak days. You've got this!!
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powerful096 · Jun 25, 2018

HMHU said: ↑

Experience with success

I’ve now stayed clean for over 2 years, this is owing thanks to the increased understanding. Previously I’ve failed countless times in trying to stay clean, at the time nobody was guiding me. Nobody was guiding me because I was unable to receive the guidance; I was ignorant in the knowledge of quitting masturbation, of maintaining a healthy lifestyle and of Buddhist teachings, All I knew was the brute force way. I thought that I could rely solely on willpower to stay clean. In reality, success is very hard to come by through relying on willpower alone. Instead, one must start by purifying the heart/mind, this will then tackle the root of the issue because the mind controls the hands as well as the action of masturbation. If there is a lot of filthy thoughts floating around in your subconscious mind, you will naturally gravitate towards masturbation. Therefore we must work on purifying our thoughts, through the repeated study of rebooting material, the repeated study will strengthen our virtue and over time the habit of masturbation will cease to exist.

The first step of quitting masturbation: to change one’s thoughts. This is like quitting a drug addiction, upon entering a drug rehab center the first step is to introduce the patient with correct knowledge in understanding the harmful effect of drugs and cleansing the mind with all erroneous thoughts and beliefs. Many brothers have repeatedly failed to stay clean due to the failure to recondition their minds, relying on willpower alone to stay clean will only work in the short run which is quickly followed by failure. We must therefore always stay vigilant in our study of rebooting material. Although I’ve stayed clean for over 2 years, I still study rebooting material daily as well as TCM. This knowledge will act as a firewall and barrier towards masturbation, with the firewall in place we don’t have to be as fearful. Previously I had relied purely on my willpower to quit masturbation, my head was filled with dirty images. Nowadays through changing my thoughts, I would not harbor a dirty thought throughout the entire day, without the thought there can be no masturbation. Therefore I wish to point out a path for everyone so as to minimize the number of detours. I have studied many successful brothers, without except all of these people were adept at cleansing their thoughts. When you are conversing with these people, they will have lots of knowledge to share with you; while they are sharing this knowledge with you they are simultaneous reinforcing their own understanding which helps them in the process of staying clean. Final word: in order to become successful in quitting masturbation one must completely rewire the thoughts, otherwise failure is to follow.

I have studied the process of masturbation addiction as well as in other areas such as addiction towards drugs, quitting drugs, smoking, gaming, shopping. The process of addiction is similar to that of being allergic in that there can be many stimulants, this is why it’s so important to surround oneself with a clean environment. Addiction can be grouped into two categories, physical addiction, and psychological addiction. The human addiction mechanism is closely related to dopamine. Dopamine being a neurotransmitter is responsible for communicating information between the cells, it is one of the fountainheads for the pleasure center of the brain. Because dopamine is mainly responsible for transmitting pleasure related signals, the secretion of dopamine is often out of balance for masturbation sufferers. Rebooting must correct this imbalance by getting rid of the addiction towards sex. Many people have a hard to stay clean because the psychological addiction is too deep where the subconscious is filled with filthy material. The only way to rid these filthy material is by a complete rewiring of our thoughts and deny that material which causes the addiction. If our first reaction by looking at a beautiful woman is arousal then we are finished. If our first reaction is indifference then that would be correct, in time our determination will strengthen. Beautiful women is like electricity, we must transform ourselves into insulators, beautiful women is like a magnet, we must turn ourselves into a wood. Remember, you are in control of your desires and not the other way around, you will not become the slave to your desires.

The formula

In my years of research I’ve arrived at the following formula: staying up at night + long time spent sitting down + masturbation = health is finished. If one only masturbation without the other elements one could end up with a waist pain and frequent urination at most. However, if we stay late throughout the night and throw long period of sitting into the equation we will be sure to catch neurasthenia related diseases. Another thing, if you love to exercise the physical symptoms will not be that serious and the time of recovery will be fairly quick. Staying up at night combined with debauchery is the two most essence hurting ways according to TCM. Long sitting damages the kidneys, the three mentioned factors combined will wreck havoc to a person’s health. I hope that everybody will commit the above formula into memories as it has been exchanged for with the painful experiences from both myself and my fellow brothers, not to mention the medical expenses in the tens of thousands that was spent in the process.

Ways to recover

From the above reading, everybody has probably gotten an idea of the ways to recover; regular exercise, healthy lifestyle. We need to choose a physical routine that fits our interests. In my research into neurasthenia, many brothers have found meditation and horse-stance (a Kungfu stance) to be helpful in their recovery, I have had personal experiences with this, the difficult part is to find the proper technique and persistence in training.

Furthermore, replenishment via diet is also very important. The recommendations by doctor Peng Xin is good. One of the most important topics is how to replenish the health via diet. For the people that are aware of their weakened state of health, it is natural to inquire into the hows when it comes to dietary replenishments. I can make it very clear to everyone that the best replenishment is not to waste the essences, the best medicine is abstinence from masturbation. The scale of effectiveness for replenishment follows medicine < diet < exercise. We should therefore exercise regularly but take care not to overstrain ourselves.

There is a general misunderstanding among brothers and that is to depend on the doctor, they think that by seeing a doctor everything will be fine. In reality this is a false notion; 30% treatment, 70% maintenance, if you are unaware of how to maintain a healthy lifestyle, the effectiveness of medical treatment will be severely limited. Suppose that you are taking medicine for replenishing the kidneys but at the same time you still masturbation, this will only have the opposite of the intended effect. Medicine will help you to recover the kidney vitality, but if you start to fool around as you recover your kidney vitality will never become full, we must therefore stop the “leakage” so to speak. For those brothers suffering from neurasthenia, if your symptoms are serious I would still recommend you to seek the doctor. However, take care to not become dependent on the medication because that is an evil spiral in itself, instead, focus on quitting masturbation and taking care of your body.

Regarding nocturnal emissions

Nocturnal emission does not count as masturbation, frequent nocturnal emission deserves attention however as it’s a sign that our “essence gate” is not secure, if that happens I would recommend seeking a Chinese traditional physician. I would recommend a stretching exercise found in the Eight Brocades yoga movements called “hands reaching feets strengthen kidney/waist”, you can Google it. The exercise is very simple and effective. Every day I would perform it several hundred times which helps to greatly reduce the number of nocturnal emissions. This exercise is mentioned in many Taoist health maintaining manuals and is known under many different names, however the principle remains the same; by stretching the bladder
meridian line found at the back of the thigh, also the bladder line and the kidney affect one another.

Methods in reducing nocturnal emissions:

Do not have too thick blankets

Avoid diet that is too fatty or too meaty

Do not stay up at night

Do not overstrain yourself during the day

Before bed, don’t drink too much water

Don’t take alcohol

Don’t meditate immediately prior to bed

Regarding wet dreams

Many brothers are bothered by wet dreams, this is due to filthy material in the subconscious. Sigmund Freud once said, dreams are the window to the subconscious. If your subconscious is not clean, this will then show up in the dreams and we will be unable to control ourselves. Therefore, the thorough cleansing of the subconscious is the key. We achieve this by the repeated reading of the rebooting material, this needs to be repeated incessantly until we flood our brain with it. The degree of purification will not be enough if we do not reach the mentioned level of saturation which will create opportunities for relapses.

Regarding erectile difficulties

Due to the deterioration of one’s sexual performance, many brothers have joined rebooting in hopes to recover quickly. First of all we must interpret and understand the signals that our bodies are sending to us, only be doing so will we make the correct choices. Erectile difficulties is a self-protection mechanism of the body, this is the body telling us to stop what we are doing and begin the process of recuperation. The mechanism is similar to when we are exposed to cold and our skin pores close. Erectile difficulties are the body telling us to stop the sexual debauchery. Many brothers do not understand this concept, instead, they go look for filthier material hoping for their bodies to respond, this will only make matters worse. According to my research, people suffering from impotence and premature ejaculation share a common experience; forceful masturbation or masturbation multiple times in close succession. It has been mentioned in the records of TCM and I will mention it in my own words, the most important reason for the decline of kidney essence; do not indulge too much, the more the indulgence the heavier the price. masturbation is like shopping, we spend our health in exchange for fleeting moments of pleasure. Many people due to their greed of indulgence have become impotent, due to their ignorance in medicine. I hope these words is able to strike a note with the reader.

The final destination of rebooting

The purpose of rebooting is not to make you into a monk but to make you in control of your own desires and increase the cultivation of ethics for the individual. The (Chinese) rebooting community promotes the view of no sex before marriage, sex in moderation after marriage, this is the correct path. This point of view is in line with the thoughts of TCM.

The 10 stages of rebooting

Stage 1: This is when we realize that masturbation is affecting our healthy negatively and we have a thought about quitting. However, after reading about the harmlessness theories of masturbation we are not so determined anymore, we think that masturbation in moderation should do us no harm. This is the very initial stage of rebooting which is characterized by ignorance and naivety. The result: failure!

Stage 2: We gain a small understanding of the harmful effects of masturbation, but not a thorough understanding. The result: failure!

Stage 3: We begin to study other peoples’ experience of rebooting and we try to break our rebooting record. Although we have managed to set a new record on the number of rebooting days we are still unable to break out of the vicious cycle. The result: failure!

Stage 4: This is the confusion stage, after numerous failures, we start to doubt ourselves. At this stage, we are not putting in enough of a fight, no fight no victory! The result: failure.

Stage 5: Our body gives out signals once again and it’s clear that our health has deteriorated. Once again we make up our minds to quit and rely helplessly on the brute force method without learning about the correct methods. The result: failure.

Stage 6: We begin to see the harmlessness theory for what it is, that it only works to trick the “children”. This is when we experience a breakthrough in our way of thinking but we still fail to understand why we are unable to quit masturbation. The result: failure.

Stage 7: This is the stage of understanding, gained from reading vast amounts of rebooting articles, we begin to acknowledge spiritual teachings (such as Buddhism) which helps to increase our determination tremendously, we break the 100-day streak. The result: still failure.

Stage 8: The thorough cleansing stage, we are starting to cleanse ourselves both consciously and unconsciously. Once this idea has entered our subconscious we easily break the 200-day barrier. There may come one day when we are browsing the internet and have our guard down or we have been slack in our rebooting studies, we therefore stumble near the finishing line. The result: still failure.

Stage 9: We are almost there now and have become even more careful, our understanding takes on another level. We are no longer affected by dirty thoughts, what we see do not enter our intentions, what other people sees and like we react with caution. We are steady in our heart even amidst rough winds of thoughts. We have discarded the habit of masturbation altogether.

Stage 10: “Nothing to begin with, how can nothing stir the dust”. We have come to the highest stage where all things returns to simplicity, just as the “sweeping monk” from Jin Yong’s martial art novels. Great skill is hidden in plain site, this is only achieved by the Master.

Tips: Everyone should be able to find their current stage in rebooting, just like in video games we have our levels, once we have reached that level success will come. If our level of understanding is not there we will have a hard time to quit masturbation, for a master there is no difficulty, while mastery is difficult to achieve for a layman. Hopefully, everyone will continue to study rebooting articles, the day when we find our “aha” moment is the day when we can walk away from masturbation for good. For the few bright people with keen minds, they are able to skip over stages just as a bright student is able to skip grades and the poor student will need to remain in the same grade.
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powerful096 · Jun 25, 2018

HMHU said: ↑

Thanks everyone for keeping up with the material this far and also for your encouraging comments! Before continuing with the translations I would like to point out a few things.

It came to my attention that the author tends to repeat things every once in awhile. This makes the material rather tedious to read at times but I think it is the author’s intention to emphasize these passages in order to make them stick. In light of this, I will honor my original promise to translate the entire message regardless of how often things are being repeated.

Now that we’ve moved passed the intro chapter the rest of the book will be divided into “seasons” or chapters. The chapters number to a total of 110 in the edition of the book that I own. New chapters are still being added on a regular basis to this day by the original author. It is therefore not a surprise that the oldest chapters were written years ago.

Season 2 that you will find below is a chapter that I find to be especially useful, it deals with Why we chose to reboot. I hope you guys will benefit from it as I have. Now onto the translations!

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Season 1 [Soaring Eagle experience: The reason to repeated defeat - slack in cleansing the mind]

I’ve seen many cases of failure during my year in the rebooting community, many brothers vow to reboot and not long afterward they would fail in their attempt. People that relapse becomes despondent, self-doubting and even decadent, some people may also give up. Many brothers choose to flee, believing that rebooting is not possible for them.

The reason for rebooting is almost always due to deteriorating health, however, the attraction towards masturbation is strong and it binds us firmly. We are the puppet controlled by a puppet master, masturbation is like the enemy to which we suffer great casualties every time we fight him.

After a relapse, many brothers would blame it on the lack of willpower and self-restraint, this reveals an inadequacy in our understanding. According to my experiences, relying solely on willpower and perseverance is extremely difficult, unless the person is some kind of rebooting hero who would rather die than to masturbate, these people are very few in number.

Seeing people failing time and again, I’d like to point out a clear way for everyone, this method has helped me to free myself of the control that masturbation had over my life. There is a good saying: “Success has its ways, lest you have not yet found one.” When you fail it’s important to consider in depth on why we fail and not to carelessly blame it on the lack of willpower, if we act this way we will fail again in the future and thus being unable to free ourselves from this vicious cycle.

I would like to spread a very important concept for everybody: brainwash! Everybody has probably heard of this term before. Those brothers who managed to stay clean were all thoroughly brainwashed.

Many people may be biased towards the term brainwash and think that it’s no good. Actually brainwash is a neutral term that is faultless by itself, what matters is to apply it correctly. Depending on your own understanding, brainwashing can be understood as the purification of thoughts or the rewiring of thoughts. Many people have been looking at lots of porn, some people have been doing this for over a decade, these people are actually brainwashing themselves with filthy material and turning their minds into x-rated minds. Many people have read about the harmlessness theories with regards to masturbation, this is also a form of brainwashing where we allow erroneous beliefs to occupy our brain and render ourselves unable to distinguish right from wrong.

Through brainwashing, a person may be totally transformed to another person, we need to make good use of this “brainwashing” tool in order to systematically cleanse the dirt from our minds and restore purity. People may have questions as to how to brainwash and with what. In our daily lives, we are subjected to many forms of brainwashing regularly, only this happens without us being aware of it; where we are fed with notions and values. According to principles in psychologies, when we are being fed a notion for long enough, we will naturally come to accept it. This is seen in advertising where we might dislike a certain advertisement from the beginning but as time passes we come to dislike it less and slowly to accept it over time. This process is a process of brainwashing.

We need to apply brainwashing upon ourselves, as for materials we need to look no further than the rebooting material is posted by myself and other brothers, this will serve the basis for the material used for brainwashing. We must purposely engage in brainwashing by constant repetition, again and again until our brain is completely filled with brainwashing material. We need to do this from the moment we wake up in the morning, during our spare time during the day and in the evening. After a while, you will notice that your thoughts and ideology will undergo certain changes where the old filthy you have already vanished and it is replaced by a brand new sense of you. Having only a “brainwashing awareness” is not enough, we also need the intensity. Many brothers are aware of rebooting knowledge, what they lack is “brainwashing intensity”, if the intensity is inadequate the dosage will come out short and the results cannot be guaranteed. The reason to why the author is able to stay clean is because he is collecting rebooting material and thinking about rebooting every day. His mind is saturated with rebooting material and these material act as a firewall which separates PMO from himself.

Everybody have washed their clothes before, the principle of clothes washing and brain washing is very similar, when the thoughts are dirty our actions become tainted. Since the brain controls the hands we should therefore not chop off our hands, we need to recognize that our thoughts have become contaminated, the only way to become clean again is through brainwashing. High dosage brainwashing, repeated brainwashing, and thorough brainwashing! We must thoroughly rinse away the x-rated material and return the brain to its former state similar to a filthy shirt that needs washing. To achieve a thorough result we must increase the intensity through repeated efforts when the intensity has been reached the results will surely follow. By then we will have conquered PMO and reached a stage of complete transformation, forever departing from that vile self.

For those brothers who repeatedly fail, I hope that you can pick up the psychological weapon of “brainwashing” to thoroughly cleanse your minds. When your minds are clean your patterns of behavior will change naturally and victory will be assured. After you have used rebooting material to brainwash yourselves, you should also take what you have learned and impart it to other brothers, in doing this your own process of brainwashing will strengthen. The more you repeat this process the clearer will the results become and with time PMO will naturally disappear.

Season 2 [Soaring Eagle experience: The misconception in repeated failure lies with the incorrect motive of restoring one’s sexual performance]

Here we will talk about motives behind rebooting. When I logged on today to answer questions I met 2 brothers that are unable to escape from their vicious cycles due to incorrect motives in rebooting. Previously I would run into similar cases every day. This is a serious question that deserves its own topic.

To reboot in order to recover one’s sexual performance seems quite natural when first hearing about it. Many brothers have suffered a decline in their sexual function due to long-term masturbation, some even have developed premature ejaculation symptoms and impotence, others are on their way to the said symptoms. The worst part is that these people have not realized the seriousness of the problem and act like those frogs in a boiling pot, swimming at ease in the slowly heated up pot.

According to the [Inner Canon of the Yellow Emperor]: “Illness is due to overuse!” Our body is like a piece of machinery if we only use it and ignore maintenance, the parts will quickly wear out and even become useless. Our body is capable of a certain degree of self-repair, this is why after a period of rebooting we will experience certain improvement in our sexual functions. This is the stage that is most susceptible to breaking our reboot; as our kidney essence recovers there will certainly be reactions down there, evil thought will begin to flourish, those brothers undergoing reboot with the desire to recover their sexual function will begin to feel restless, the thought to “test” will arise in wanting to see the degree of recovery. It is this thought that sinks them once again into the vicious cycle of PMO, once released it’s released and we may even see a deterioration in our condition.

This is a typical case of incorrect motives, the root is incorrect and therefore the fruit is also incorrect. This motive is incorrect from the very beginning and must result in failure. This is because the reason for rebooting is to enjoy further indulgences in the future, to further satisfy their own cravings, this motive is wrong from the very beginning. The wrong cause will surely result in the wrong result, this will aggravate the vicious cycle making us incapable of escaping from it.

Therefore, to establish the correct rebooting motive is the key and also the foundation. This is comparable to the foundations of a skyscraper, the foundations must be solid and correct or else we are building castles of sand, prone to collapse at any moment.

I advocate the following motives:

To restore health to the body and mind: This is the very first motive for many brothers due to the deterioration of their health.

To maintain a healthy way of living according to TCM: in TCM it is recommended to protect and cherish the essence. Studying a little TCM will further benefit our rebooting process.

Religious beliefs: for example, Buddhism is against sexual debauchery and premarital sex as well as moderation of sex post marriage.

Naturally, there are other commendable motives, such as to not let one’s family down and to realize one’s dreams in life.

We must not adopt the motive of “reboot in order to recovery sexual functions”. Once we have adopted the correct motive our sexual function will naturally recover. But if your motive is to merely improve the sexual functions you will once again fall into the trap, this will happen by default and has been made known from the experiences of thousands of brothers.

Hopefully, through these writings I have brought everybody beneficial food for thought, and also a clearer understanding towards rebooting.

Feel free to contact me for any questions and I will answer them with the backing of extensive experiences. I hope to have helped brothers to overcome their vicious cycles and in rediscovering that bright and healthy self.

Season 3 [Soaring Eagle experience: Teach you how to rid the problem of frequent nocturnal emissions]

In this article, we will discuss the topic of nocturnal emission in depth in hopes to point out a clear path for everyone. For those readers with a keen understanding, I believe they will no longer be bothered with the worry of nocturnal emission after reading this article. Please read the following passages thoroughly.

Out of all the hundreds of questions that I have answered, the topic of nocturnal emission makes up a big share of the count. As long as you have begun to reboot, you will likely have been troubled by nocturnal emissions. I come across this topic daily from fellow brothers, no fewer than 3 per day, the most I have received 10 per day on this issue. It could even be said that large portions of brothers are deeply troubled by nocturnal emissions, they have searched far and wide to no avail and are unable to reduce the frequency of nocturnal emissions. To have built up the kidney essence only to have them dispelled one night via nocturnal emissions is very disheartening and troubling.

Like everyone else I’ve once made up my mind to reboot, yet I was deeply troubled by nocturnal emission. Nocturnal emission itself does not count as breaking the reboot, but my body would noticeably feel weakened. This especially applies to those brothers whose had their kidney essences greatly weakened, if you add nocturnal emission to their already weakened state is like adding frost on top of the snow. The day after nocturnal emission is when the body will feel not up to par, some people even describes the experience of their bodies falling apart. Although the manner that we lose our essences and qi through nocturnal emission differs from that of masturbation, the results are more or less the same, once essences and qi have been lost the body will feel weakened. If your body is very healthy and your kidney qi is plentiful, an occasional nocturnal emission will not be felt. However, if the kidney qi has already been weakened, once we have a nocturnal emission, the effect will become very apparent. As we age the discomfort we feel following nocturnal emission will become more apparent. Furthermore, nocturnal emission will adversely impact our determination in rebooting, although it does not count as breaking the reboot, following nocturnal emission our stamina will noticeably decrease like an inflated ball. TCM (Chinese Traditional Medicine) advocates “accumulation of essence and qi” where the leakage of essence and qi is frowned upon.

In Taoism the leakage of essence is called “the leaving of the pellet”, if we take away the essence how are we to transform it into qi? There is a saying that it takes 100 days in order to build up the foundation during which time there can be no leakage of essences. 100 day without leakage is a feat that is achieved by extremely few people, only those that have acquired the way of the Tao is able to achieve this feat. Actually, breaking the 100 days is like breaking the paper on papered tapered windows, if you know the method it is very easy, but if you don’t know the method, it’s very hard to decrease the frequency of essence leakage, let alone the excessive expectation of breaking the 100-day barrier. According to my research, many people due to that they have masturbated long-term suffers from a great deficiency in their kidney qi. It would take from half a year to 8 months before they experience nocturnal emission during their reboot. The 100-day barrier that I had mentioned is addressed towards the second stage of the reboot.

I was once troubled by nocturnal emission for the better part of a year, during that time I would experience nocturnal emission about 3-5 times each month, sometimes I would experience it two nights in a row. Although the number of times is not that great, it is, however, a great deal for an already weakened body where we simply cannot afford to leak so to speak. I remember a time when I had been recovering very well only to experience a marked decline in my physical well being after a nocturnal emission. During this time period, I took care to record the times of my leakages, the dates, the time, whether or not dreams were present, I had it recorded down in detail. After a nocturnal emission, I would go on the internet to look for ways to combat it. I’ve come across a countless number of articles and posts; medicine was mentioned as well as different forms of physical exercise, also suggestive healing was mentioned, however, there were no ways to decrease the frequency of the leakage. There was a time when I perplexed over the question of whether or not the leakage is due to the “overflowing of essences”, this was then dismissed after I discovered that there are people who are able to greatly decrease or even to halt altogether, nocturnal emission through meditation. At the time I was thinking of how wonderful it would be to have a master to guide me into this matter. According to my understanding, those who have opened their small circulatory cycles according to Qigong are able to stop the leakage. However this requires the guidance of a proper tutor, one should not attempt this on their own due to the risk running into issues, therefore I didn’t attempt this exercise on my own. In Qigong, by holding the horse stance one is also able to decrease the frequency of nocturnal emissions, but to achieve 100 days of no leakage is very difficult. Nocturnal emission in Taoism is a “hard threshold”, many people have difficulty in passing this barrier. If this barrier cannot be passed, a substantial improvement (Translator’s note: I believe the author isn’t referring to a normal improvement upon an already weakened body, instead, it is the total transformation above and beyond a normal constitution, like becoming a superman in terms of health. Therefore, the 100 days threshold should not be viewed as a prerequisite to improving one’s health, it’s the threshold towards unlocking one’s latent powers) in one’s constitution is very difficult, because whatever we put in is leaked away like a leaking water tank where the tank is never to be full.

I’ve now finally fumbled my way to the method, one can also say that I’ve reached an understanding (Translator’s note: in Chinese, understanding literally translates to “knowing the Tao”. In this context, understanding should be interpreted as having the defining “aha moment” and piercing into the truth) . Previously I came across articles dealing with similar topics but was unable to comprehend them, this is also owing the complexity of the articles where the contents becomes more difficult the more you read them, and if I did what was prescribed in those articles it was easy to miss the essence and not hit the mark, and so the issue of nocturnal emission was not resolved. An article with several thousands of words in it can often be summarized in the last sentence. The saying goes “Falseness may spread across a thousand books, the truth is contained in one sentence”, if we are able to truly comprehend this then there is no need to read many articles lest we become even more confused. If we are not able to reach the understanding then the paper thin veil becomes like a mountain, if understanding is reached, breaking the veil is like breaking through a sheet of paper.

Ever since I have arrived at the understanding, I have not had a nocturnal emission for 3 months. I could feel that my kidney qi is becoming ever more abundant and my overall vitality is very good. Today I will pierce this paper thin veil, hopefully, everybody could pay close attention to the below writings.

Listen, understand, and you will save money, there will be no need to take medicine and hospital expenses could be saved.

First of all, let’s familiarize us with the concept of the “essence gate”. The essence gate is like a dam if the dam is sturdy enough it will not become overwhelmed by the flood of water. If not, nocturnal emissions will be frequent. If your gate is very sturdy, even if you have Ying deficiency in the kidney & liver, the dam will still hold firm. The relationship can be described the analogy of the spear and the shield if your shield is strong the spear will not be able to penetrate it despite its sharpness. Therefore, the question of how to reinforce the essence gate, to reinforce the “shield” is the problem that we must solve. I was able to cast off the trouble of nocturnal emission thanks to a rhyme that I have discovered which originated from the Eight Brocade exercise, called “Hands climbing feet sturdies the kidney and the waist”. This movement has a very simple form, stand with both legs straight and use the hands to touch the ground. In broadcast gymnastics (Translator’s note: kids in Chinese schools do simple gymnastics movements during school, these movements are basically like stretching and is guided by broadcasts from loud speakers) there is a similar movement, actually, these movements are born out of the traditional Chinese Eight Brocade Qigong exercises. Whatever you do, do not underestimate these movements as they contain “great mysterious principles”. The said movement, through stretching the bladder meridian line found at the backside of the thighs have the function of strengthening the essence gates. The principle is the following: the kidney meridian line and the bladder meridian line is reflected off each other, their functions are connected together, qi and blood are interconnected, therefore by stretching the bladder meridian line we are also working the kidney meridian line. Thus we are able to reinforce our essence gate, executing the said movement is like tightening screws to the gate, once the gate is secured, the issue of nocturnal emission is resolved. In the past I’ve encountered numerous articles, the Eight Brocade is also mentioned in them but at the time the contents did not stick in my mind due to my lack of understanding, I didn’t comprehend the essence of the teachings and hence did not fully grasp the power of the movement. Now I’ve come to fully understand the battle-tested effectiveness of the movement which far surpasses the efficiency of any medicine! Furthermore, the exercise is very easy to execute and to repeat over time. Those with an adequate understanding will come to treasure the movement as the most valuable asset while those with an inadequate understanding will tend to ignore and dismiss it.

Detailed how-to

The method that I would teach everyone is: just do one of the movement from the Eight Brocade exercises, the one that targets nocturnal emissions “Hands climbing feet sturdies the kidney and the waist”. Persist in executing this movement properly, which means to find that stretchy feeling, it’s important to have that correct feeling. When we are doing this movement we should feel the bladder meridian line being stretched tighter, straightened and lengthened like a rubber band. Once we have found this feeling we need to intensify it like tightening the screws of the essence gate. Every day I would perform this movement 500 times, before I go to bed I would do it 200 times. I would strongly recommend doing this exercise before bed which is likened to putting a lock on the essence gate. If you do not do this before going to bed then we might experience nocturnal emissions, this is because the essence gate might not be properly secured which can only be secured by performing this movement. However we must take care to not overstrain ourselves while doing this exercise, otherwise, the overtraining may lead to nocturnal emission, we should pay close attention to this. In the beginning, many people lack the foundations, other people may have a poor physical condition, therefore we do not need to do many repetitions in the beginning. We could, for example, start from 30 repetitions, or do them in sets, 60 repetitions may be divided into 3 sets with 20 per set and a minute of rest between the sets. The second day we do this we may experience pain or discomfort in the body, we only need to rest for a couple days to return to normal and then continue from where we left off and we will not experience further discomfort in the body.

Essence

Lastly, I would like to elaborate on the characteristics of the essence. Essence is a mysterious substance, if given is able to grant life and if saved is able to preserve life. There is one characteristic of the essence and that is essence is able to become “internalized”, through meditational practices the essence may be transformed into qi, essence can then be returned to nourish the brain. (Translator’s note: in English, this may be called sexual transmutation and has been expounded upon by authors such as Napoleon Hill). The saying that “Once essences are full it will overflow” is a theory that is only applicable to the layman. Because the layman is not cultivated in meditational practices he will be limited on the plane of “Once essences are full it will overflow”. This is like a person believing there are only white swans in the world just because he has only seen white swans, in reality, there are black swans as well only that they have not yet been seen by that person.

Afterword

Once a brother has reached a certain stage in the rebooting process he will likely be bothered with the issue of nocturnal emissions. We must learn to control the frequency of these leakages and try to limit the frequency to no more than 3 times per month. Hopefully, I have been able to provide guidance for those who are deeply troubled by nocturnal emissions, I hope one day the issue will no longer come to bother you.

Success case feedback

Case 1: Previously I saw in your thread the “Hands climbing feet sturdies the kidney and the waist” movement, this is truly a remarkable move! I have kept doing this exercise for 200 times before bed every day and I have not experienced nocturnal emission for over 40 days. Before I learned about this exercise I would experience nocturnal emission twice a week, what a powerful exercise this is. However, I did fall short and broke the reboot after 44 days. I can now guarantee to quit PMO completely and I’m full confidence.

Case 2: The first month of reboot I had nocturnal emissions 8 times which almost frightened me to death, after reading Soaring Eagle’s article my determination is renewed. In addition, I’ve started to practice the Eight Brocade exercises, in the second month I’ve yet to experience a single nocturnal emission. My state of mind is pretty good now! I’m very grateful for Soaring Eagle and the rebooting forums. I hope everybody can do as I did and walk on the path of righteousness, together we will build a bright future.

Case 3: Masturbated for 8 years! Short, ugly and poor (Translator’s note: Chinese slang for loser basically). The girl of my dreams sleeps in the arms of another man, very hurtful indeed. After having read Soaring Eagle’s posts I’ve come to realize that I have wasted valuable years. Today is the 31st day of my reboot, at day 7 I had a nocturnal emission, afterward, I did in according to Soaring Eagle’s methods and successfully controlled by leakage. Ever since the 7th day until today I have yet to have another nocturnal emission, my dreams are peaceful and I no longer have erotic dreams. My body clearly feels more vital, my legs are no longer soft, waist and back ache have disappeared. My appearance has become clearer and no longer carry the wretched look! My thoughts are clear now and my courage has returned. Now I do the things I enjoy doing and make money towards my freedom. I finally understand this is what is called real living. The sad and inferior days of self-rubbing is now forever behind me.

Case 4: I began rebooting after reading in rebooting forums. Afterwards, I often had nocturnal emissions which irritated me a lot. I remember when it was the most serious, I leaked 7 times within a month. When it was cold during the night I would have an emission. My body was very irritated and felt weak overall. Even during my midday naps, I experienced emission. At that time I just wanted to die, but the will to live was very strong, so I gathered my courage and told my mom about rebooting and the frequent nocturnal emissions. I told her that I felt very week so my mom took me to see an old traditional Chinese doctor. I knew that doctor from a very young age, now he is maybe 80 years old but is still working. The head of the clinic told him to come by and sit for a while and treat some patients every day until noon. I told the old doctor about my condition and was given medicine, the doctor told me not to be nervous and that I would recover. Just like that, after taking his medicine I felt much better. I would have nocturnal emission twice every month and so I no longer felt the need to do any kidney strengthening exercises and stopped taking the medicine. After stopping the medicine the symptoms rebounded and once again I experienced frequent nocturnal emissions. At the time I was thinking to myself how nice it would be to no longer take any medicine and so I continued to do the exercises provided by Soaring Eagle. Now I do it every day whereas before I was not persistent and would have nocturnal emission every couple of days. Now I do them every day and have not leaked for about a month or two. Hehe. Though I feel that I have a small advantage which allowed my body to start recovering and that is ever since I started rebooting I have not broken the reboot. The physical as well as the mental act of masturbation no longer exist in my head. To those brother who experience frequent nocturnal emissions please hold out, your bodies will be able to sense it. If you are good to your body it will know it. Please continue with the kidney strengthening exercise forever.
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powerful096 · Jul 22, 2018

fercho29 said: ↑

Hi Guys:
I want to update my "Emergency Toolbox" with all the new stuff I have been compiling during these 10 and a half months.
I called "Emergency Toolbox" to some readings that I saves in my cell phone Notes to have them handy to read in "case of emergency" (meaning when I get urges).
They were very helpful, specially the first few months, when I struggled a lot and felt that I could not stand the suffering and needed to relapse.
Reading this helped me focus, and also remember how bad I felt when I started reboot and how much I have moved forward since then. Many times they saved me, I hope they will be helpful for you too.
I just wrote a few, all the rest I copied from other NoFap posts or took them from other websites or videos.

1. The NF journey (I took this from NoFap reddit, I find this is the best description of how shitty we feel as PMO addicts)

Been here for a while on this throwaway, but this is my first ever post.

I lost count of my streak (been a few months) and the mere thought of fapping just makes me sick nowadays. I can't even imagine myself returning to my old ways. Ever.

Just the thoughts of:

• Being a creepy, lonely fucker- sitting in a dark room alone, face lit by a mechanical, cold computer screen that does not give a damn about you.

• The sweaty hands and balls, stinking crotch and heavy, animalistic breathing- like you're a fiendish creature. The more you watch and wank, the more disturbing your fetish gets. You end up watching gay sex when your not even turned on by gay sex. Beastiality. Peadophilia. You name it. It erodes your conscience. You're a beast.

• The frying of your dopamine receptors- and your mind is submerged; eroding in a chemical bath. You're somewhere else, and nothing makes sense. Your facial expression is enough to turn your mother away in disgust.

• The mindless, 5 seconds worth of numbness upon orgasm (I say numbness- this isn't pleasure not even close). Forgotten as soon as it happens. No emotion post orgasm. Just the blurry vision and aching heart. Your dick hates you for lying to it again and shrivels up even smaller than before.

• Your load- the millions of sperm, the life force in your body, scrunched up in a tissue and thrown in the bin. These sperm, your potential future sons and daughters, spat out and killed, left to rot in the rubbish because of your selfish, ghastly desires.

• And that EMPTY ass feeling when it's all over- you fall back into reality with a crash. You quickly turn off the porn on your PC because you suddenly fucking hate it. It's the worst thing ever at this point.

• Then that burning sensation of regret as you sit there alone. Thinking "What the fuck". You spend the rest of the day alone- weakness, anxiety, depression all kicks in 10x worse than before you PMO'd. Video games are your friend- they don't judge you for being so vile. Soulless, mechanical mediums suddenly replace intimacy with real people.

• You can't look your mom in the eye and tell her you love her, you can't go outside and play football with your innocent, pure brother. You can't imagine helping your sister with her homework because the thought of being alone in a room with a "vagina" instantly means you must fuck it.

• Withdrawal from closest friends who cannot help you because they've no idea what the problem is. Grades suffer- future looks bleak. Think about ending it, suicide. Think about cutting yourself, drugs, prostitutes... And then realise you're a pathetic fuck who hasn't got the balls to do either-

• And so you turn on your computer. And so the cycle continues.

NoFappers, looking back at these points in my life, I hand on heart swear that PMO addiction is the worst thing to have ever happened to me. It sickens me thinking of these points in my life, and I vow I'll never return to this endless cycle of misery.

And I hope that those out there reading this can relate to my experiences, and see in writing how pathetic it is to give in to these urges. See with your own eyes and learn from my experiences about about how PMO lifestyle is just a downward spiral. And find it within yourself to bring yourselves out of this pit of darkness.

It's not worth it at all is it? Don't destroy your valuable, short time on this earth. Live it to the fullest, and live it well. There are no second chances.

I wish you all the best,

2. This has became my life motto, I repeat it to myself every time I feel an urge, I took it from some inspirational video:

"To figure out if something is good for you, you have to ask two simple questions : where does it lead me? And how will it leave me?"

"For every urge you face, you give yourself a choice. Do you give in, or do you outlast the urge? No urge is uncontrollable. No matter how shitty how situation is at the time, you can always make the right decision to walk away and stay clean."

3. "...maybe we shouldn't even call it addiction. Maybe we should call it bonding. Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond, and when we're happy and healthy, we'll bond and connect with each other, but if you can't do that, because you're traumatized or isolated or beaten down by life, you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief. Now, that might be gambling, that might be pornography, that might be cocaine, that might be cannabis, but you will bond and connect with something because that's our nature. That's what we want as human beings."
From a TED Talk inspirational video

4. Carpe Diem, seize the day, make your life extraordinary:

Why he has the right to use these lines?

…because we are food for worms. Because believe it or not, each and every one of us one day we will stop breathing, turn cold and die. They believed that they were destined for great things; their eyes were full of hope. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? - - Carpe - - hear it? - - Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary."
Robin Williams in "Dead Poets Society"

5. I guess it comes down to only two options; get busy living...or get busy dying." - Andy Dufraene

6. "They are human beings, they are simple guys, they are not Adonis, some god that I need to idolize".
A recommendation from my good friend @JoeinMD

7. "It's this ethical, moral paralysis that I have been dumbfounded by many times - I've literally have caught myself going into a comatose state and becoming numb in my mind, letting my ethical voice get suspended (I've even acknowledged this happening in the past, but let it happen still), so that one lapsing moment, one-second of consent in will, relinquishes me to the downfall and shit of addiction once again. I've seen it unfold before me many times and have still chosen the sickness. "

8. “I'm worth more than a dark room wank to a pixilated babe who name you'll never even know.”

9. “There is nothing as powerful as a change of mind.
You can change everything else, but if you do not change your mind the same experiences will perpetuate over and over again because everything outwardly changes but nothing inside you changes.
If you want to change something in your life, if there is some goal you want to reach, changing your behavior and overcoming negative habits is something challenging and hard.
The only thing that will make you happy is to step up, discover what you are capable and feel that incredible power pushing though wherever is holding you back, and get to the other side.
How much time do you have left? We do not know. Stop wasting valuable time, if you want something you have to be relentless.
The ability to face sweat again and again without giving up is the power to endure, this is the winner quality. This power only becomes available when somebody is in that state of mind when he or she knows exactly what wants and is fully determined not to quit until they find it.
You are unstoppable; love your life with passion.
I've got what it takes. This is my day, and nothing out here is going to stop me.”

From "Mindshift", a motivational video.

10. “I realized I was not using porn because it felt good. I came to view porn as a way to run away from pain and loneliness.
I was feeling bad and I can just turn on porn and I can forget the world, forget myself, forget my problems; run away from everything and just lose myself for some moments.
I feel awake now, and being awake hurts but it also feels incredible.
Despite all the pleasure that you can get from porn, I do not have any cherished memories from watching porn.
I indulged in fantasy all that time and I ran away from reality.
I feel more connected to every moment in my own life now and every moment is more powerful without porn.
I love my life so much now that I am not running away from my life anymore.”

11. "This isn't real. You know what it is? It's St. Elmo's Fire. Electric flashes of light that appear in dark skies out of nowhere. Sailors would guide entire journeys by it, but the joke was on them... there was no fire. There wasn't even a St. Elmo. They made it up. They made it up because they thought they needed it to keep them going when times got tough, just like you're making up all of this. We're all going through this. It's our time at the edge."

From the movie “St. Elmo’s Fire”

12. All limiting beliefs are rooted in fear. Fear is the aversion to discomfort and pain.

Pretty much every problem we face as humans comes back to fear. This is because all of our problems come from trying to avoid discomfort and pain. This pain can be physical, emotional, or mental. This pain that we are resisting can be the pain of having to detach from a desire, the fear of moving forward in uncertainty, or the fear of facing our own truth.I believe that many people’s reliance on porn is because they have not learned how to effectively manage this stress. Porn and orgasm are such powerful levels of stimulation that they can make you forget about your worries for a while. For many people, they may feel that PMO is the only escape they have to deal with the troubles in their lives.

If you want to make your reboot easier, then you need to learn how to create your own security.

Otherwise, you risk the chance of getting overwhelmed, panicking, and turning to porn to escape the discomfort of your own self-created stress. If you feel like you aren’t creating your own stress and it’s some external circumstance’s fault, then you aren’t taking ownership of your own perceptions.

An even simpler argument is that, just by looking at the design, we can clearly conclude that the penis was made for the vagina, not the hand, and semen was made for fertilizing eggs, not for fertilizing tissues. Throw a computer screen and infinite pixilated hotties into the mix and masturbation seems anything but natural.

Mark Queppet from NoFap Academy

13. “The more heavily you’ve identified with something, the more it has become a part of you. Just like when part of your body gets cut off and you feel pain, when an emotional attachment gets cut off, it hurts. This is the pain that we cannot avoid, no matter how good we are at modifying our own emotions.

Here is where the turmoil lies: your intellect realizes that the path of lust (and lack) leads nowhere truly worth going, but your subconscious wants to cling to the fleeting-but-familiar pleasures of this road. Your subconscious is afraid of finding a new path. It protests:

“What if there is no happiness to be found out there? We should keep trying lust, maybe we will be happy if we have sex with someone hot enough. If we stray from this path then we might not find anything, and if there’s nothing better out there, then we’re better off sticking with the pleasure we know we can find on this trail.”

So what we are seeing here is that in order to gain freedom, we must detach. This detachment requires that we sacrifice our current experience of comfort to eventually gain a new experience a new, less conditional, form of comfort

Mark Queppet from NoFap Academy

14. I noticed that you are a Bible reader, i think that a scripture that really ties to this is James 1:14,15, it is natural to be lured by and enticed by our wrong thoughts or desires, its when we let those thought become reality that we head down the path to death, or in the case of PMO or acting out i usually think of it as the DARKNESS because that is how it makes me feel to the core of my soul... Choosing is our defense against the addict, it is what makes us our true self, it is the reminder that we are responsible for our actions, not our every thought... keep making the right choices where ever you are in the funnel, remembering that you can still get out, and when you do, which i am sure you will again and again (because the funnel is just part of our lives even when we are beyond the current state, because sex is a natural part of our being), be proud because that is the feeling that you want to keep getting... you want the joy of success which is much stronger than the fear of failure...

15. "A Slip Does Not Need to Become a Slide":
If you slip, your addict may tell you to just keep going: ”Since you’ve already slipped, you might as well do more.” But if you start to slip, or you do slip, that doesn’t mean you need to continue to slide. What if you were on a mountainside and you slipped? Would you give up and just keep sliding until you fell off the mountain? Or would you try to get a foothold and keep climbing upward? If you slip in your recovery, you can still stop right there and just keep climbing. You might have some ground to make up, but you can do it. You have the tools.
A crisis can be a gold mine. That may sound contradictory, but it’s true. For example, if you’re triggered and you successfully resist, you will less likely to be triggered next time. We all live in worlds of chaos and unpredictable moments. When you are prepared, you can turn what could have been a slip into another positive step in your recovery.

16. I can't over-emphasize this enough......all of those white knuckle battles.....all of the moments of feeling like I was going to slip....that it was INEVITABLE that I would......feeling that even if I make it through tonight, there is no way an hell I can do this "forever". Those battles MUST be won. Over and over and over until the become less and and less frequent......and then one day its like they stop. Not because urges go away, per se......but because THE ADDICT gets tired of losing. HE learns that there is just no easy way to get us to slip. That we are ready to white knuckle and fight through ANYTHING. And once the addict realizes this, HE doesn't want to go through the pain of continued defeat.

@cpf from NoFap

17. I was sitting in my garden drinking a fruit juice. I’d just indulged in a porn fest (even though I really didn’t want to) and was feeling… weak and controlled. I no longer felt that I had a choice. The urge came on. I indulged it. I felt shit afterward. It had become a habitual cycle. I knew that I wanted to lose this addiction, but I just couldn’t find enough reason to stop. I kept rationalizing that “a little bit won’t do you any harm.”

Deep down I also knew that the little bit was getting bigger and bigger. It needed to be stopped.

The Wasp story
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powerful096 · Aug 4, 2018

senava14 said: ↑

Here I am, week 3. I work two jobs at retails and I'm fairly okay looking. At 5'7 and 170 lbs I am not a very big guy. I am 23 and never had a girlfriend. I have decided to rewire my brain and reset my life before I look back in further regret. I hope to become the best version of my self, do less whining, and finally get a girlfriend.

Yes working at retails is the perfect place to see the effects of nofap. I cant help but notice that girls around me are acting weird now and get all smily and giggly. Its as if when I see an attractive girl they can feel my attraction towards them and in return they become sort of flirty. This one cute girl that comes in everynow and then stopped for a second, smiled at me and wished me a good day in a way that sounded like she wanted to eat me. I had smoking hot blonde girl the other day who came to help me look for a charger at a gas station that she didnt even work in. She just decided to help me out of the blue. Numerous times Ive caught girls just playing with their hair in front of me or just teasing me in playful manners. Co workers at work treat me better and they start acting affectionately. Kids and guys kind of look up to me and mosquitos dont bite me anymore. Okay just kidding about the last part.
So yes my energy is coming back. I feel it like a flame in my crutch. I find myself enjoying music and life slowly again. I am becoming wittier and a faster thinker. I am also sleeping less. This is just the beginning. No more PMO for me. A one time high is not worth a life of a lifeless walking corpse.
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powerful096 · Sep 11, 2018

LifeWorthLiving!!! said: ↑

I had struggled with PMO from the time that I was young - I found a garbage bag full of pornography in an empty lot - when I was young - probably 100 magazines. The images were radically powerful. It was similar to a lengthy binge on websites.

From that point, throughout life, it became easy to dip back in memory to these images of women. Women became a pursuit- women became my number one goal. Everything became a means to that end.

I thought that I would be struggling for a lifetime, that PMO would be impossible to kick.

I found NoFap in May of 2016. After reading journals and checking out the tools, I signed up. I had an amazing first run - 13 months no PMO and the GREATEST year of my life. Discovered 4 main things.

1. Mechanics of addiction. I learned a lot about the mechanics of addiction. This made addiction manageable. I understood what was happening in my limbic brain along with the great power of the executive brain. I learned the amazing power of letting my executive brain speak to my limbic brain to halt urges for masturbation and/or pornography.

2. Testimonies. I found that the success testimonies on this site were an incredible boost for me. They have me HOPE that PMO can be kicked for good. I heard a talk about the first man that broke the 4 minute mile - no one thought it could be done. Now, thousands have broken it because they have HOPE that it can be broken. They believe. I thought that no one could beat pornography addiction, like the 4 minute mile.

3. The app. The nofap app was big for me. I would used it to focus my brain well before an emergency.

4. Journaling. I would post and help someone else. Connecting with community as a helper or mentor was big.

The 13 months of no PMO were actually not that much of a struggle. Every day I was changing. It was more exciting than difficult.

But I grew more and more independent from my connection with this site. After 402 days of no PMO, I slipped one night. I was overconfident, and independent. I couldn't believe that I slipped. For the next 13 months, I would go a few weeks here and there, but I had no steady progress.

Well, 30 days ago I made significant changes in my routine. I went back to the basics of what I did initially when I started with nofap and added some things.

MORNING
1. Alarm. Set alarm early and get up immediately. 5am, 6am, 7am. Depending on the need of the day. When alarm hits, I don't let my brain consider staying in bed or snoozing.

2. Bed. Make bed and kneel down. Thank God and speak gratitude. Lots of gratitude.

3. Hydrate. 16 oz of water because my brain needs it after no hydration all night.

4. Cold shower / motivational audio.
Start a cold shower and begin a motivational video on YouTube. Play it loud over the speakers while I shower and prep. Big focus early. Not letting my brain dive into anxiety about the day ahead.

5. Prayer Time. Dedicated. Daily.

DAYTIME

1. Getting everywhere earlier than appointed time.

2. Corresponding quickly to all tasks.

(Everyone has seen this change in me. Their appreciation has helped me connect more because these 2 points show that I respect them and myself.)

EVENING

1. Exercize. I exercise 20 mins on elliptical.

2. Cold shower. I then take another cold shower with motivational audio.

One motivational audio stated "win the morning, win the day". It's real. When I hit that shower and hear the motivational audio, I hear the voices of people that are conquerors. I have hope because they speak it from the heart. The background music on these speeches fires me up too.

So - I am truly proud that I can post again in the Success Forum. I hope that this helps someone else who is struggling.

GOD'S PEACE
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