What do I do about my life?

Believe in yourself. You CAN make friends, even if you've failed before. Just know you can, and go talk to someone. You might fail, but you might also make a friend!

Whenever you think you can't do something, just pretend you can, and try it. You could always fail but that doesn't matter. What matters is that you tried, you learn from it, and you could actually succeed!

Even if you think you can't do this because you have low self-esteem and confidence, I do too. But I tell myself I can do it anyway, then I go and do it, and sometimes I'll fail. But other times I'll succeed, and that will improve my self-confidence. It will improve yours as well.

This could apply to anything. Try it; believe in yourself!

 

So you gave us a sad story and all the reasons why you don't like your life, but what are you doing to change your life exactly?

Whenever things don't go your way are you going to keep bringing up the past as an excuse to not do anything about it?

You basically said, this happened, that happened, I have this and that, so I have all these things to fall back on as a reason to why my life isn't working out and a reason to not even try.

 

I myself was bullied when I was younger all the time at school from 7th grade to graduation it was a living hell. My parents told me to deal with my low self esteem on my own they had there own problems. Then It finally hit me it was my thinking that got me into depression low self esteem so the following helped me out am I happy every day ? no, that's not possible but I am a lot better version of myself here are some things that helped
1. I am never critical of myself I see myself as human just as everyone is, I never talk to myself negatively
2. I don't take shit from others if there looking for trouble they find it with me I don't bully people but I don't take shit from bullies at all
3 .I am fine as I am if someone doesn't like it they can leave or fuck off or both
hope this helps it did for me

 

I wont lie Lonewolfpt it took a long time mostly because I was scared to reach out to people and keep what I felt inside of me I thought for a long time I was the only one going threw this pain and despair and I was ashamed of myself shit my parents and family told me to figure it out for myself on the few times I did reach out . I finally reached a breaking point in my life because I was so sick and tired of depressed and feeling less then others were I finally said FUCK IT I AM TIRED OF PLAYING A VICTIM, most of my teens and 20s was spent feeling sorry for myself and trying to get people to like me which made me depressed and very angry . I think a big turning point was when I started writing things down and just looking at what I wrote and think to myself YOU EVER LISTEN TO YOURSELF and when it was on the paper I didn't like what was coming out it hurt to read but it started to change my mind I started to see that I was keeping myself in the victim wheel bye the way I talked to myself I was very self critical and when writing I found I was starting to sound like the people who used to bully me . Your inner strength is there write down how you talk about yourself your situation, your outlook then honestly ask yourself "I am not doing this negitve defeated shit any more" write down that you don't play the victim any more and your done with feeling sorry for yourself , if you do you will find an inner strength you didn't even know existed hey don't be afraid to write me with any questions I will try to help the best I can you have a choice strength or weakness its your choice

 

fuck pills. stand a man- youve got only one life to live. DOnt be a pussy and start working out and start develop your passions.

 

@Lonewolfpt I feel you bro. I have been bullied in my last job and I had to get out of there to preserve my sanity. But I have so much anger inside about those people. Motherfuckers. I know EXACTLY what you are feeling.

@hydroxide @MR.W1881 Thank you so much for your input. Looking to my past I now identify certain moments where I was bullied but did nothing about it. And you know what they say about life: "She will give you a lesson and she will only stop when we learn the lesson". I didn't learn the lesson until now after receiving an overdose of bullying. I was completely KO'ed. I feel deep inside that I will not take any more shit...I'll go to the mothafuckin last consequences. The bully of bullies. I read about this phenomenon. Basically a bully is someone who is afraid of something but the way they deal with the fear is by imposing it on others instead of dealing with it in a more mature manner. OK. Let the games begin. Let's bully the bullies. Fuck'em up.

@Lonewolfpt You reached to University despite your family problems and the fact your father was an heroine addict (hard stuff). You're a winner man. You're a champion! You are made of the champion's stuff. It's very rare a person with your kind of difficulties to reach the University degree. Keep going. Keep doing what you like and searching things that you might like. Well I don't have a girlfriend in a long time but if a girl trust me enough and if she's a girl who deserves me, I will give her the world and she will feel the luckiest girl in the world. I try to maintain a mentality of abundace: "There are plenty of decent girls out there that would adore me if they knew me". Try the same. And the same will happen to you. You deserve it!

My 5 cents is a list of videos I did. Really powerful stuff. To motivate ourselves to continue our "NoFap Journey" and Life Journey as well. Check it out, it is worth it ===>> List of videos

Stay strong bro(s)!

 

Lonewolfpt

The break point came for me because i was worn out from being negtive and feeling like shit all the time and when writing down the inferiority thoughts just look at them and remind yourself Do I want to keep talking to myself this way? Is talking negitive to myself making me any happier stronger better ?then look over the following sayings I have used and repeat them to yourself if you want to I don't want think like that again, I was made to do better , I worth more than this negative shit. I refuse to play and victim and critize myself and feel sorry for myself and my favorite PITTY PARTY IS OVER
In fact I keep a note card around my house that says STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF and on days when shit happens and the darkness comes it helps because its very easy to slip back into negative defeated weak patternes. you have to keep stuff like those cards around to wake you up sometimes , any other questions lonewolfpt I will try to answer them the best I can

 

I'm from PT. So are you right?

You could see them whenever you want. It's a compilation of inspiring videos of other noFappers.

 

those meds are addictive. though you should try hard to lower it bit by bit. do meditation for relaxation.

 

Hey guys

I am speding really hard times dealing with depression and anxiety and I would really appreciate feedback in what I am doing wrong and how can I change my life.

Depression and anxiety are very difficult ailments to deal with, even with the help of a doctor. So don't put too much pressure on yourself.


So..

I am 22. University student in the area of social sciences (atteding masters). I have a shitty part time job working at catering that I want to keep while I am studing.

I remember the time when I had a job. I wouldn't like it and so I quit, and now I realize the job was a dream job. Maybe the job isn't all the bad. Think of the good stuff the job gives you.

I am single, 3 months ago my ex gf broke up with me. We were together for 5 years. Due to low self esteem issues, all my social and affective life was basically with her. I dont know how to be a person now.

How were you before you met her? You can be the same person. Or you can be a better person.

I have no friends. I cant make friends. I have developed low self esteem and confidence issues because all my life I have been bullied. Kids mocked and insulted me almost all my time at school.

Not having friends could also mean the people around you have different priorities as you. It's okay to not have friends. Some people are good at making friends, some are not. Sorry about the bullying. It wrecks a person's esteem. Honestly I think your classmates are also struggling with anxiety issues. Many people wear a mask of happiness.

I think I was bullied because i never had a paternal figure when I was growing up. My "father" was a heroine addict and left my family when I was months old. Because of that fact a lot of tension exists inside my family. I never really had the proper family environment for growing up. Adding to the fact that we really dont have much money. Pessimism runs in my family.

Having a supportive family makes a big difference in the child's life. I think it's analogous to watering a plant with water. My dad died young and mom had depression and anxiety issues. She was always on the verge of rage and always irritated with life. I often think what life would be if dad were around, or if someone had looked after mom after dad passed away. It'd make a hell of a difference in my mentality and life.

Since my separation that I have been on Lorazenpam, pills for anxiety. I want to quit them but I cant see how will I deal with everyday life without them. I need comfort in something.

Maybe visit a therapist to see how to quit the pills. I know the pills can't be stopped immediately. You'll have to fade out of it.

In the past was masturbation to Porn, now its the medication.
It's all right. A doctor can help you how to stop taking the pills.

I would really appreciate helpful advices
I'd suggest to go slowly. Instead of taking the pill now, try taking it half hour later. Like if you have urge to take a pill, take it ten minutes later. Write it on your mobile wallpaper or on your bedroom. 'After ten minutes'
Slowly let it fade away.

Thank you guys
Welcome.

 

Lonewolf I don't have an answer for you but I am sorry you are going through rough times and I wish you the best.

 

it will be more liberating than tough don't be afraid to reach out if you have any questions , Your Welcome stay strong

 

@Lonewolfpt I can be your AP yeah. It would be a pleasure.

Sometimes anxiety is not a problem. Sometimes it is a superpower. I love a movie called "Wanted" and if you'll see it with an open mind it will ring so many bells...at least for me. In my previous job I was similar to the main character in the beginning of the movie...

 

Take this with a grain of salt: You are on medication, your past was tough, your current way of living (Job, relationships, etc). I get it, but this is reality. It's not unusual how this new generation try to base their expectations on movies, series, books. They often wait for a certain moment which will turn around their whole lives, the final opportunity will come, the medication will begin to take effect and I'll feel like a normal / driven person.

There's no such thing as a setback, that word only gains meaning, translates it's definition, when you don't take any action. Failing earns you experience to challenge future hardships. If you don't drag your ass to the arena there will be no results, things can get even worse if you reach stasis.

It all falls on your ability to take discomfort like a champion and begin building, block by block your ladder to success. That or you can let things get awful enough to your fight or flight response take place. Once at that stage, your Fear might become what propels you forward. Losing and failing will have a much greater impact since you've hit rock bottom as each loss leaves a scar in your soul. Extremes will guide your daily activities. I must advise that once I got struck with despair my hopes and visions of a different future ceased. My imagination couldn't handle creating in my mind a future where I was balanced and motivated again. What got me out of there was hearing from a experienced Psychiatrist that giving in to those patterns could actually make things even more bleak. I got terrified and decided that if I hadn't the courage to jump of a cliff I would take any microscopical action to prevent the worsening. Losing at life can shatter your world, now losing yourself sucks you into a void that defies the definition of dreadful. Zero feelings starts to mess with your primal brain functions. You begin to have nightmares because you can't sleep. That depression changes and molds a new chain of thoughts. Fleeing and numbing yourself to sleep won't activate any stress relief. Fast forwarding the next day becomes out of the question since you know your brain will mess your feelings and your sense of self even more.

The pain of failure is much more bearable than the pain of regret.