Time and time again (hoping to make up for lost time)

Hey !

I've been trying for over three years to quit watching my addiction to porn. When I was 17 I had a really tough period in high school (the usuals relationship issues, school, etc) and I used porn porn as an escape to cope with all that. However over time I realised that it became an addiction. The thing is that I've always been really good at hiding my emotions, putting on a face and facing the world. That's how I've been and it's always seemed to work for me. I always achieve the targets I set, and I've hit some major milestones, however the one thing that weighs me down is porn. It was after I got one of my milestones and I PMO at night that I realised, I felt empty. I wasn't living life mindfully I was racing through trying to get myself distracted, not listening to what my mind had to say, running away from frustration and loneliness, it's been difficult.

I've spent a ton of time reading up on habit, behaviour change, etc and I understand everything but I just can't seem to apply it. I go for streaks of up to 20 days and then relapse. The days when I'm free from it I'm super productive and confident. The days I relapse the exact opposite. Relapses last for about 2 weeks as well before I decide to try again. I've been in this loop for about 3 years now. I guess doing this just on my own isn't going to work, I need you guys, I need to be part of this community. I'm glad to help everyone out in anyway I can.

Let us start something new together.

Thanks,
Carpe diem !

 

I already feel really welcome. It's lovely to see and be a part of such a warm and supportive family !

 

Thanks man ! It's truly remarkable how knowing that you are not alone in this fight, and having people support you makes it easier already.