90 Days alhumdulillah - Benefits/Advice/Strategies - 7+ years of failure

Salaamo Alaykom,

I have been struggling for 7+ years to quit. I reached 90 days yesterday. I will share the reasons why this time I succeeded (based on my thoughts prior to the streak and after the 90 day streak). I will also share the benefits.

Reasons why this time I succeeded:
1) New beginnings give me hope - so I started a new attempt in January 1st. Every day is a new day. Be hopeful.
2) Monitoration leads to modification of behaviour. It was the first time I successfully used a journal. I tracked my progress (not just streak). I used google sheets and bookmarked it. Every night or two, I would update.
3) Exercise. I told myself - I will invest $500 this year into my health (mental/physical health). I started looking for gym memberships, they were too high, I almost gave up but continued looking, and joined a local club where people workout.
4) Changed jobs. Previous workplace was unprofessional even with regards to clothing. Current work is more modest. Change your environment. This pays lower, but worth it.
5) Laptop is gone! I use the computer at work or share the desktop with family in the kitchen.
6) Got an old phone.
7) Naturally... I don't know how or why, my social interactions with people increased. I guess less opportunities for social media interactions means greater interaction with people.
8) This one should be actually number 1 or number 3. I visited the success stories page... a lot! Seeing that other people succeeded made me realize I can do it and reminded me of the benefits.
9) Used K9 and OpenDNS, blocked reddit and PMO material


Benefits:
1) Self-control. I didn't think it was possible for a man to stop thinking out P. Now I don't even think about it and it seems disgusting. Didn't think that was possible. Its possible.
2) I deal with stress in a healthy way. I'm more aware.
3) Eye contact has improved. But more importantly I started to notice the "superpower eye contact" effect on day 91. I know what that superpower eye contact is because I've felt it before in previous streaks. This time I never got it within the 90 days, but all of a sudden day 90 or 91 I noticed it when I was doing business with a woman. At that point I focused back on work. Superpowers exist. They will come on their own time. This time they came late. Idk why. Just be patient.
4) In sports with the guys, I dominated/intimated the other guys with my eyes. This developed very quickly and people said I had some intense look in my eyes. In my mind I was focused. But yeah just sharing.
5) Stress management improved - sometimes I would sleep after work and feel refreshed.

Strategy:
1) Set short terms goals that are achievable within an X number of days. E.g. do 15 pushups for 5 days.
Short term goals should be lesser in length than your average length of streak.
I.e. if I relapsed every 3 days, then set goals that take 2 days to complete. And accomplish those goals and reward yourself.

My goal was to pair my successess with short term goals and pair them with my PMO streak. Why? Because to reach the goal of 90 days, I had to celebrate small victories. And I didn't want to celebrate 7 days of PMO-free and then another 7 days of PMO-free, because everyday was difficult and should be celebrated. Rather I celebrated accomplishments of healthy habits/small goals and used that along side my 90 day goal.

More on this later.

 

treat every day like day one.