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Self-Image recovery.

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Deleted Account, Apr 11, 2018.

  1. I know porn often destroys the SO's self image and that's a monster in its own right. What about the PA?

    Porn is often filled with muscley well endowed men and petite women who make them look even bigger in all aspects.
    According to most studies and my wife I have nothing to worry about. My over sexually-saturated mind still thinks I'm inferior.

    I've been working out in the gym since I quit to help with my self confidence overall. Obviously that can't help all parts of the body haha. How long did it take you guys or gals to feel adequate after quitting porn?
     
    asbgca likes this.
  2. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

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    I have most of the attributes society deems attractive. I'm 18 years old, a white male, almost six feet tall, I have a low body fat percentage with big arms and a defined midsection. When I used to watch porn sometimes I would be like hey! That guy kinda looks like me.

    However I still doubt my self image because I have never received any validation from women for it. I have worked really hard to build a physique and appearance I can be proud of but I still feel insecure because I am a virgin and have never kissed a girl. I am still trying to find the right girl. What's worse for me than porn is just social media and the abundance of people in relationships regardless of how attractive the people are. I can summon courage and confidence when I need it but I still doubt myself a lot. I think I just need to get out more haha. But this is a serious issue and physical attractionness is realistically only one piece of a much bigger picture.
     
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  3. asbgca

    asbgca Fapstronaut

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    That's right on. Reality is that looks are much more important to men than to women. Women care about a man's character and personality much more. If you want to be attractive to women, learn to interact with them and hold a man-to-woman frame. That will get you success with women, and from there your self-confidence will increase.

    This depends on how much action you're willing to take. The more you step out of your comfort zone and confront your fears, the more adequate you'll feel. Do the things that make you anxious and you'll see your confidence go up. When you fail (and you will) keep learning and keep trying again. That's the only way to make progress. Reboot is a great start, but it doesn't automatically increase your confidence in all areas of life. All it does is give you energy and make you more proactive so you can go out there and take action.

    For me it's a work in progress. I had 83 days this year. During that time I figured out lots of personal issues and found more courage to take action. Now going to repeat it after relapse.
     
  4. LilD

    LilD Fapstronaut

    "Adequate" is not about me. I've been in a recovery for several years now (porn addiction only recently), and my self-image went from zero to maybe 50%. On my best days, I feel average. On my worst day, I feel would be better off dead.

    The only solution I see is to stop comparing myself to others. It's not a race. I don't even care about their lives, so why do I have to be like them?
     
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  5. Hatfuge

    Hatfuge Fapstronaut

    I think your self image have more to do with what you do besides porn than with being a PA, I don't really know how my confidence was before P, don't think I thought much about it before I started at around 13-14 years old.

    But my selfconfidence started to become better around the age of 15 and I guess it only rose from there. I got a mentor figure into my life which changed how I looked at my self and that was the turning point for me.

    This wasn't a physical mentor, I read his articles and books and through that I became more confident.

    Starting weight lifting at the age of 19/20, and again rose my confidence more when I felt stronger and looked stronger, even tho I've always been happy with how I looked,(except for the acne I had at 13-17 years old, which were all over my face and back)

    And at the age of 23-24 I started to meditate close to every day since. and this has brought my care freeness to a whole new level I rarely mind what other people think of what I do anymore, I walk my own path, but of course when I do new things I still feel scared of it sometimes.

    When doing new things it's scary the first times, but you will be better at it and it will soon become more comfortable.

    The thing that shakes me the most mentally these days are when I'm having sex and PIED kicks in. I feel bad that I can't give as much of me as I want because of this disability.
    I did quit porn 12 days ago so I am improving on it. but the recovery can't really come fast enough :emoji_smile:
     
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