How hard is it to find a girl that's hasn't sex with 3+ people and hasn't had kids when I'm almost 3

Are you in the level that you need to be in to attract that kind of woman in your life? If you want attract and find those kinds of qualities in a woman that you'll eventually marry, you must have the qualities that would make her attracted to you.

It's easy to want something, earning it is another story.

 

I'm sure you could find one but is that the only metric you are basing your relationship? What you need is someone you can trust and they trust you. Someone that can help you grow. Someone that loves and cares about you. Someone you will care and love. Someone that will be there in good and bad times. In wellness and sickness. Because once you have sex with her she will no longer be a virgin and all the other things you are not paying attention will come out and you will not like it and will be miserable. The time to choose the virgin might had been 10 years ago when you were younger. Now your options are more limited in terms of what ypu are looking. A woman also wants to be happy. Choose someone they love. I mean we are not living in Afghanistan with arranged marriages and all.

How did I meet my wife? Well, I was at a concert and I asked her to dance. We dance about 3 songs and she said "I am going to the restroom". She never came back.
6 months later I was at a concert. The concert ended. People were leaving and she approached me and said "do you remember me?". I did not but said Yes. We started talking. My friend was the one with the car. She needed a ride. We gave her and her friends ride home. Got her number. Called her the next week and went out. I love her smile. 20 years later we are still here. We have had our ups and downs. Our fights and arguments. She has been there for me. I've been there for her. In wellnes and sickness. I love her and care about her. Deep inside I know she loves me and cares about me. There were other women that I was kind of dating (no sex) but she was the one that I felt the most comfortable. There were others that were more prettier but this one had a smile that made me happy.

So many other things to say. Was she a virgin? No. But I was not a virgin either. I did not care too much about her past as long as that I felt that she would respect our future. I trust her.

The journey has not ended. Struggling with this PIED. I believe that I finally have conquered Porn as my addiction. She is frustrated and angry about it but is supportive. Here we are 20 years later. 2 children. We do not know what awaits us but hopefully with jer support we can overcome it. Would her virginity made our marriage better. Not sure. What was done was done. What counts is from the point you and her make that commitment going forward.

You don't have to agree but those are my 2 cents.

 

Almost 30, wants a girl early 20s, problem is ??

 

Well its good to have standards as far as reality of meeting someone like that its tough cant blame you for trying

 

I guess this is a rather old-fashioned way of looking at relationships. In the past women were treated as sexual commodity so they were expected to be untapped and virgin before marriage ! This is very common in traditional communities such as ours(IRAN) . The writer seems to be a Christian and I see the same thing in the Islamic community here as well. Religions like Islam do not tolerate open relationship out of their rules.
But we are the people of 21th century. Today women have freedom more than ever and sex only before marriage is something that basically doesn't exist anymore. Even here in IRAN that the religious authoriterian regime tries to prevent women from free relationships , they secretly have pre-marital relationships .
As other members said , it would be better if we laid the foundation of our love life on trust, honesty , and mutual understanding and most notably love!! !

SiNA

 

www.christianmingle.com/ ???????????????

Post what you want on there and other similar sites.

Maybe go to more church activities.

Meet similar minded people.

 

To add to this a little bit: remember that no one gets into a relationship for selfless reasons. In order to attract someone, you have to be able to offer them something they want. Love is something that you grow into.

 

I just want to add my two cents for what it's worth as a brother in Christ - but I don't beleive that as a Chrsitian you should only date virgins.

At your age, there are multiple women who made mistakes in their younger years before finding Christ and have repented and been forgiven for what they have done. I'm sure that you would like whoever you marry to forgive you for watch pornography?

Don't get me wrong, I persoanlly don't beleive in sex outside of marrige, and myself am a virgin, and for years struggled with the idea of dating a non-virgin, but if God can forgive someone then I beleive we should as well.

 

I was 31 when I met my wife who was 20. I'm 50 now. She's STILL more mature, lol!

 

To be honest, find a women in her mid-late 20's who has had a few partners (not a hoe), a few bad/good relationships that didn't work out, life goals and dreams achieved and failed. Struggles and triumphs and her own fucking savings account. A women like that is worth her weight in gold. A women who knows where shes going in life and knows where she fits in with you.

In the meantime, have a but of fun and bang some early 20's honeys. Your the perfect age to make the most of their attraction to older men.

 

Yeah, that's about where I am. I don't really have any attractive qualities; but I'm sure I could keep a girl around if she gave me a chance. I'm working on self improvement on a few levels: getting involved in this site, going back to school, going to the gym on occasion, and all that; but I can't say I've seen any improvement so far.

I think it just comes down to making them get to know you by putting yourself out there. Manufacture familiarity. As far as I can tell, success comes to two kinds of people: the really lucky and the ones who ask out everyone. Beyond that, since I'm not either of those people, I can't really help you.

 

Have confidence. Learn to speak to them.