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Relapse or Dream ? Night's problem

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Amarion, Apr 13, 2018.

  1. Amarion

    Amarion Fapstronaut

    Okay guys I don't how many of you cope with the same issue has me but let's try to explain.

    I'm afraid that during the night, unconsciously, I M. That's it. It's not a bid deal but how can I deal with such thing if it's unconscious AND during the night ? The worst part of it is that I have some memories about it but I don't know if it's true, just a trick or even just a dream.
    Last night such thing happend to me. Just in case, I have reset my counter, but the main point is if it's true or not how can I deal with it ?
    Sounds terrible to me that a part of my brain just wanted to do it and is still listening to my urges... Even if it's 5 seconds of pleasure for a terrible life
     
  2. ShotDunyun

    ShotDunyun Fapstronaut

    I dont think it counts since it wasnt a conscious activity. Many of us have had wet dreams and these "Involuntary touchings". That's is our douchebag brains trying to fool us. Don't feel bad about, it wasn't your fault.
     
    Amarion likes this.
  3. I suggest you go back and set your counter to where it was before. You cannot hold yourself accountable for actions when you are unconscious @Amarion! o_O It is good to take this challenge seriously mate, but that seems over zealous to me. :)
     
    Amarion likes this.
  4. Amarion

    Amarion Fapstronaut

    I understand. But the main point is such thing leads to relapse, which will finally slow down my reboot and throw away all of the benefits. I don't know...
     
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2018
  5. Truegamer007

    Truegamer007 Fapstronaut

    It's a dream, it may seem very real, but rest assured it's a dream. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

    If it's leading you to relapse, I think it might be cause you feel guilty about it? I can't know for sure. Having such dreams actually means your reboot is progressing, not the other way round, your brain is trying to get you to fap. If you keep denying it, it will try harder and harder till it eventually gives up. That's a reboot. Stay on it, don't give up first.
     
    Amarion likes this.
  6. mapache

    mapache Fapstronaut

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    Hey there. I really, really understand where you're coming from on this!

    I'm currently on Day 125 of hard-mode, and this happened to me on day 75, day 97 and day 124.

    All three times, it was unconscious (I did not "decide" that I was going to masturbate), and it happened around 5 am. All three times, I was sleeping on my stomach and my hand was not in or on (or near) my pants. And, all three times, I woke up suddenly and felt an immediate rush of guilt, which, during the course of the day, went away gradually.

    I agree with Truegamer007 (and others) that you should NOT count these unconscious wet-dreams as failures in your re-boot. You can (and should) hold yourself accountable for PMO'ing while awake, but if you're asleep, there's simply nothing you can do. Lingering on (and punishing yourself for) the guilt that you feel (for something over which you have ZERO control) will probably just accelerate the classic cycle of guilt-shame-PMO-guilt-shame-PMO...etc...

    You're heading down the right path. I know it's hard, but try to be kind to yourself as you make progress day by day.
     
    Amarion likes this.
  7. Amarion

    Amarion Fapstronaut

    I see. Yeah I'm so ashamed by that... I think it only slows down my reboot and everything. But thank you ! I'm going to change my point of view.


    I understand. I was totally wrong about that.
    But relapsing due to that will not slow down my reboot and everything ? I mean, my social anxiety is still there, feeling down, no emotions, no interest and so. Well I'm only on Day 3 tho, I don't know. Since you have faced the same issue did you notice bad changes ?
    @mapache
     
  8. mapache

    mapache Fapstronaut

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    1. Personally, I did not notice any "slow down" effects after wet-dream days.

    2. I would not worry about unconscious "relapses" right now. Do what you can every day to be the best version of you.

    3. On a realistic note, it's going to take time for you to feel changes with social anxiety, reduced emotional range, and the other symptoms that you have described. Remember that these are complex issues and, depending on the amount of time that you have been using porn, they might be very deeply ingrained. In my own case, I am on Day 125 (by FAR my longest streak), and I am still dealing with some of the symptoms that you have described. I started feeling a lot of improvement around Day 30 or so, but since then, I have been on a nearly constant (but slowly and gradually improving) roller coaster ride of good and bad.

    Removing PMO from your life has a lot of positive effects, yes, but they are not instantaneous.

    Sometimes, removing PMO just gives you perspective and allows you to see areas of your life where you really need to grow. Once that happens, though, you will need to work through those areas in order to see the changes that you would like to see.
     
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  9. Amarion

    Amarion Fapstronaut

    Okay I see. You are right. I just need time. I will try to avoid that forever or at least reduce it. As you said I cannot control it but I can do things that might help me to not doing it
    Thank you so much
     

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