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Can't do it even a "little bit"

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Janus, Nov 7, 2014.

  1. Nov 7, 2014 #1
    Janus

    Janus Fapstronaut

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    While I'm beginning a new journey here at NoFap, this is by no means my first attempt to quit masturbation and porn. In fact, I've had some success in the past, only to find myself slip back into old habits really easily.

    My personal record thus far is 21 days with no porn, no masturbation usage whatsoever. I don't want to short-sell myself but a lot of that success was because I was on a two-week vacation with my family and I really had no time or opportunity at all. Still, I began to feel a change and it felt good. Unfortunately the little voice in my brain got louder and eventually I thought, "I've been good this long, one for old time's sake". Rationalization is a bitch let me tell ya.

    Anyway, the point i'm getting to is, I've managed to go for days, even weeks and done fine, but I think like any addict, you can't just do a "little" of what your addicted to, moderation doesn't work for us, the temptation to binge is too strong. When I've abstained for any considerable length of time but then just tried to do a "quickie" or something, the addiction comes raging back like a storm to where I couldn't go for more than a few hours without pmo-ing and it would take weeks or months to get back on track.

    Anyone else have a similar experience? I'd be interested to hear other viewpoints.
     
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2014
    Janus, Nov 7, 2014
    Janus, Nov 7, 2014
    #1
  2. Nov 7, 2014 #2
    w-san

    w-san Fapstronaut

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    Yep, I think we've all been there.

    "One more for old times sake!"

    "I've had a tough day/week. I deserve this."

    "It's only a little bit. I'll just look, not touch this time!"

    "It's not going to hurt anyone."

    You're right about moderation. There's no such thing. We need to go full on against this evil in our lives.
     
    w-san, Nov 7, 2014
    w-san, Nov 7, 2014
    #2
  3. Nov 7, 2014 #3
    tomtom

    tomtom Fapstronaut

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    It took me several attempts to quit before I understood that I can't do any PMO, not even a quickie. That's what I've read and heard about recovering alcoholics as well... you take one shot and you can't stop.

    Perhaps some people can but apparently I cannot. And do YOU really want it or is it just your addiction trying to get control over you again?
     
    tomtom, Nov 7, 2014
    tomtom, Nov 7, 2014
    #3
  4. Nov 7, 2014 #4
    EternalWaves

    EternalWaves Guest

    The same for all here - otherwise it would not be an addiction, it would not be a problem ;-)

    When you are with your family on vacation, it is not only because you have no time: It is because you have HEALTHY SOCIAL CONTACTS, and also, because you have FULFILLED DAYS.

    The problem of the PMO addiction is not porn by itself. In truth, it is unsolved problems and inner conflicts. PMOing is a way to "cope" with fears, doubts, inner conflicts of all kind.
    These problems need to be faced and solved. The better you become there, the more the PMO addiction fades away.
     
    EternalWaves, Nov 7, 2014
    EternalWaves, Nov 7, 2014
    #4
  5. Nov 8, 2014 #5
    Jimb0

    Jimb0 Fapstronaut

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    FreedomeFlight is right. PMO is an inner conflict. You can use the goal of breaking your addiction as a way to start working on other areas of your life. You even said it yourself, you felt great when you were off PMO. When you were off PMO for some time, use that strength of feeling good to propel yourself to improve things you'd like about yourself.

    If you want to quit you have to be sincere in your goal. You say you "think like an addict." That right there tells me you aren't really serious about breaking it. Find out exactly what you want. When you do, it will be easier to break the addiction because when the urges come, you find inner strength by understanding your goal. Know what you want and the addiction will become easier to break.
     
    Jimb0, Nov 8, 2014
    Jimb0, Nov 8, 2014
    #5
  6. Nov 9, 2014 #6
    bigboyslim

    bigboyslim New Fapstronaut

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    I agree with you about there being nothing wrong with masturbation itself if it wasn't connected to porn, porn fantasizing or done excessively, but I think that we have to get the "watching" fantasy out of our minds.
     
    bigboyslim, Nov 9, 2014
    bigboyslim, Nov 9, 2014
    #6
  7. Nov 9, 2014 #7
    Janus

    Janus Fapstronaut

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    That's exactly it! Years of masturbating to porn has programmed our minds to crave certain kinds of visual stimuli in order to achieve orgasm. It's become like a Pavlovian response where the need for sexual gratification, triggers the need for that visual stimulus until our brains can't have one without the other.

    Breaking that "programming" is the goal so we can enjoy healthy sexual pleasure without the need to watch someone else having it to achieve it.

    I've always said as well that masturbation in general, isn't really a bad thing. But then neither is alcohol. It's just that both need to be tempered with moderation and self control. Unfortunately that's something we all here have failed to do, that's why we're here.
     
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2014
    Janus, Nov 9, 2014
    Janus, Nov 9, 2014
    #7
  8. Nov 9, 2014 #8
    beauty

    beauty Fapstronaut

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    This is extremely accurate.
     
    beauty, Nov 9, 2014
    beauty, Nov 9, 2014
    #8
  9. Nov 10, 2014 #9
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    I can't back off masturbation slowly like do it 3 times a week, then 2 times a week...because then i do it the next day and the next before i don't do it again, i will never get to my goal if i keep doing it like that, i am not against masturbation either, but it's hard for me to control
     
    Deleted Account, Nov 10, 2014
    Deleted Account, Nov 10, 2014
    #9

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