A hero´s journey

What’s up guys!
I’ve been trying to overcome this addiction for 4 years, with no success. It’s time to do something different, and I figured I might need to reach out to this forum for help and support. I´ve never really believed it would make a difference, but I’m willing to give it a try. I’m going to write a journal and post here regularly, so other can follow my progress if they want to


I’m 21 years old and suffer from PIED,PE and a porn induced femdom fetish (I hope its porn induced). I have had PIED for as long as I can remember, and I started watching porn when I was 8. It just spiraled out of control from there and I was using in multiple times a day. I have some sexual experience though, because over the last 4 years I´ve been able to heal to a point where sex is possible. But the EQ is nothing to be proud of and I often go limp during sex. I honestly cannot remember last time I had a rock-hard erection, which scares me. My longest streak is around 100 days, but it’s been a long time since I’ve achieved that. recently, I’ve moved to the other side of the world, started at university, and my porn habits have gotten the best of me again. I feel like I’m back a square one, and my PIED is back full time again. I need a complety reboot this time and I´m ready to get rid of this addiction once and for all.


My strategies:


- Meditate daily

- Writing journal regularly

- Reading success stories for motivation

- Daily checkups on the “Brainbuddy” app

- Exercising regularly

- Porn blocker installed on both Computer and Phone

- No touching ( I have a bad habit of always touching my self )

- Some yoga

- This is to loosen up the pelvic floor. Bad masturbation habits have created this and believe it is the main factor in my PE.



Alright, let’s start the hero´s journey.

 

day 12:

Longest streak in a long time! Im still in a flatline since day 3 or so, dick is lifeless, and I have some minior cravings.
My hypothesis is that I'm going to get out of the flatline around 20-30 day mark and see some improvement in EQ, before i enter an even longer flatline.This is just based on previous experience.
these two last days Ive noticing a sligh return of my confidence, and I´m able to sustain aye contact in a more assertive way. this is usually how I am, but its interesting to observe just how uncomfortable i become socially after a few relapse binges. I can really feel the difference! I have given into some femdom fantasies, but not too much.
As for now im just going todo my daily pelvic floor streches before i go to bed.

 

On my computer i Use k9 porn blocker. just create a password that you cant remember, and then give it to a friend.

On my Iphone i go, - settings, general, restrictions, websites, - and then "
restricted content for adults". then you make a trusten friend to create a new password for you so that you can access restrictions anymore (;

 

yeah actually i just tried deep Squat a few days ago. I really felt like good strech and afterwards i noticed that i did not have to squeeze out the last drops of urine when i pee. I just held the deep squat position for 3 minutes. Was really uncomfortable but it is said to be really good for a tense pelvic floor. Im going to do it every night from now on, possibly working up to more than 3 minutes aswell. Just google " Deep squat" or "hindi Squat" if you have the same sort of problem, and you will find the proper way todo it

 

day 14:

Im still on it, but I have had a difficult day. Some part of me really wanted to relapse, which scares me.. I fantazised allot and teased myself. I did not edge, but I touched myself alot. I know this is bad for the reboot process, but i wont worry to much about i either. What Im happy about is that I always had the opertunity to relapse, but this time i chose not to do it. In order to overcome this addiction we have to realize that we always have a choice, and if we relapse, it was our decicion and we have to take full responsibility for it. the truth may be harsh but its also liberating.

now Im just going todo my pelvic floor streches before i go to bed