Sexy outfit

I see your points. I will look into this. I still like to dress sexy. I don’t have a problem with the points. I am more concerned about the interactions that happen as a result

 

It's odd to me that this kind of advice is viewed as being judgemental. If someone has found something that works well for them and shares that with their friend, to say "hey, I've discovered that this old way of viewing things actually leads to a lot of good and is a much healthier way to live," why is that judgemental? It's a kindness. To say nothing would be unkind. To let someone continue to live in a way that you know from experience can cause so much destruction and not tell them that there might be a better way is not kind. People need to learn to take advice without being offended that it contradicts their views. You're free to disagree with any advice given to you, but that doesn't mean the advice given is judgmental.

Yeah, this is basically exactly what I was trying to say. I agree.

 

Why is this conversation still going on? Its about clothing and what one person wants to wear. Im not saying its good or bad, but thats her decision and 44 posts later she doesnt seem to have changed her mind. In the end shes going to dress how she wants regardless.

 

Totally!

 

Wear what makes you feel good about yourself,fuck what others think unless its a reason for them to torment you

 

I believe in modesty because I believe in caring about how my actions effect others in a negative way. Not because I want to "torment" or judge or shame girls who dress provocatively. Advising a girl to be more modest is not shaming them, it's encouraging them to think about others above themsleves. Which is what I would encourage any decent human to do.

 

Yeah, so do I... are we passing laws here? No. Am I trying to take away her rights? No. Advising someone to be respectful of other peoples struggles with lust and cover up a little more is not taking away anyone's rights. It's advise that she is free to take or ignore if she wants. Clearly she wants to ignore it, and that's her choice.

Also, in regards to "eff what other people think" ... there's a HUGE difference between saying "eff what other people think" and "eff how other people feel." I agree with the former, not the latter. I don't care if someone labels me a slut because they think my shirt is too lowcut. But I DO care if my shirt being too low cut is causing my fellow brother to stumble and struggle with lust, especially if he is trying to be good and especially if he is in a relationship. That's just kindness, to me. It has nothing to do with not caring what people think about me, it's about caring how I'm making other people feel. That's a really important distinction. I think far too many people take "I don't care what people think about me" to the extreme, and that statement starts to mean "I don't care how I make other people feel." That's not being confidence and secure in yourself, it's being rude and having a lack of compassion for others.

When it comes to modesty, I see it this way: I'm responsible for me. At the end of the day, im responsible for what I'm putting out into the world. If I put on an outfit completely innocently in the morning and some guy deems it inappropriate and stumbles into lust because of it, that's not my fault. But if I put on an outfit with the specific intention of making men lust after me, that's my fault. Some people probably wouldn't feel all of my clothes to be modest, but I try my best and I try not to intentionally draw attention to my body to cause other people to lust after me. So at the end of the day, I feel like I've done what I am supposed to do, and I can feel good about that.

I don't see why statements like that are always so quickly labeled as judgment. I'm just saying what I believe and how I live. If someone feels judged by that because they don't live that way, well, then that's kind of their problem, because I'm not judging them. I'm simply saying that I think it would be better if they lived differently, because it would be more kind to others around them.

 

You don’t get any of my points and yes I am quite sharp and what I write goes quite deeper than this. Try to realize this and we can start having a meaningful discussion.

 

Yes. Love to. Realization is what existence is about. Realization is the medicine that cures ALL problems. Sooner or later if you apply realization to things things can clear. So for example my realization about morales being a huge blockage is enormously I portent for me getting out of my addiction. I am not judging myself anymore as I used to for “having failed”. That just means that on top you now torture yourself and loose more energy and motivation. With having removed this serious blockage because I realized it I can look deeper and find other causes and mechanisms that cause things. Not possible with the blanket of guilt judgement and moral or rubbish opinions. So now looking at the situation as it is I can realize more things and what I do why I do and what it needs to get out.

This whole nofap thing is brilliant as someone realized the correlation between brain porn novelty reward and all this. This knowledge is majorly key to solving this issue. There are many keys always everywhere if you start looking. Each ones set of keys looks different and each one on his journey needs to find the ones that turn. Guilt opinions rigid morales (I am btw not saying you can live as you want at all. For example my behaving grew into something that I have to fix. I don’t say at all live a immoral life. But I say stiff rigid morales from outside that are not based on personal realization are rubbish. Actually more then that they are poison to your mind robbing you of your most important tool with that you can sharply desect the elements that cause a situation and solve it.

 

Let me share my honest opinion as an 18 year old male.

Whatever arousal I may get from seeing a girl dressed in revealing clothing, I actually don't support that kind of thing. If a girl wants to "look sexy", excluding the underlying mental/personality problems that kind of statement may imply, I don't see why she has to dress in revealing clothing to be sexy.

I'm an imaginative guy. I like using it. I find it difficult to want to ask out and form a relationship with a girl that's perfectly fine with letting her breasts and ass hang out in display in public. It strikes me as untrustworthy. It's the same reason why I judge guys that don't pull their pants up when they're out in public. Nobody wants to see your underwear, at least, no decent person and this applies to both genders.

If you don't want to trigger guys, there's plenty of outfits, like a nice, sleeveless shirt and jeans for example, that you can choose from. There's no need to dress provocatively.