Porn Substitute Addiction

Hi guys, this is a post I made in my journal (appropriately titled, "The Journal), and I was hoping to get some help with this. In summary, I relapsed today because I was so fed up about my mind constantly being on porn substitutes, and I was hoping to get some advice on combating this sort of addiction. Thanks!

TRIGGERS ARE LABELED

So I relapsed this morning...

Partly by choice. I have felt for the past several days that even though I was abstaining from masturbation. My mind was always focused on it, which greatly boosted my urges to view porn substitutes. I also think that I may have been more productive out of necessity, not because of increased focus from NoFap. In fact, I think so far that I have a decreased amount of focus, which could be vastly improved if I have away to let out thoughts of masturbation. I even found myself listening to music I never would have if I had had an avenue to release pent up sexual energy. And currently, dating is not logically possible, so finding a girl is out of the question (my own personal motivations right now).

So I've made some changes to my profile. I have updated my day counter so that I am back at 0, but now I am only going without porn (I think I did this right?). THIS INCLUDES PORN SUBSTITUTES. If I masturbate, so be it, but I'm laying some ground rules:

1. I cannot masturbate more than once in a 4 day period.
2. I can only think about things that I have seen IN REAL LIFE. This means that even if I know a girl, I cannot imagine having sex with her if I haven't (and as a virgin, I haven't).
3. Ideally, I will "meditate" while doing so, thinking only about my breath and any sensations I am currently feeling, not any imagined feelings

I'm hoping these rules will help me to disconnect porn from masturbation, and ultimately beat my addiction to porn/porn substitutes.

Unfortunately, I cannot quit Facebook at the moment because I use it for communication. But for me, I think that I have been so focused on the MO addiction that I didn't really care to much about the P or P-sub addiction.

This being said, since I relapsed this morning, this will count as my entry for Day 0, but to remain consistent, I won't be posting until tomorrow night, and I will be taking a break from this page until then.

TRIGGERING STATEMENT:
Right now I feel pretty good and optimistic. For the first time in a while, I don't have thoughts of random girls I saw on Facebook or Instagram have not been flowing through my mind, and I actually feel less brain fog now then when I was abstaining.
END TRIGGERS

BY NO MEANS AM I ENCOURAGING ANYONE TO QUIT THEIR STREAKS.

For me right now, I think I need to focus on my P-Sub addiction and learning how to view/respect women in the right way and not think about banging every chick I see. I need to focus on connecting with them on a human level.

TRIGGERING STATEMENT:
Honestly, I'm kind of glad I have this flaw of having masturbated.
END TRIGGERS

It makes me feel a little more human. I think that I during my streak, I felt a little arrogant about the fact that I was not masturbating, which blinded me to the truth that most of my problems were coming from something else.

So what do you think? Am I bat-shit crazy? Or does this seem like a good plan?

I'm going to post this in porn addiction as well. I'm really looking for advice on this.

MY GOALS REMAIN THE SAME:

1. **STOP OBJECTIFYING WOMEN**-This is one of the big reasons I started NoFap, and seeing as I've not seen much improvement, this is my number one goal at the moment. The two pieces of ways to go about this I've found have been to think about every girl as if they were your sister, and how you would not want anyone to objectify them in the way that I am (however, I don't have a sister so this one is kinda hard to relate to). The other is when you start thinking about how pretty or hot a girl is, ask yourself what more there is to her such as, what's she studying, what are her goals for the future, etc. Another one that I've been having some success with in the gym is that every one is there to improve themselves, and that I shouldn't interfere with that by objectifying anyone.

2. BETTER EYE CONTACT-I've been trying not to look down while I walk (helps with posture too), and I've been trying to make brief eye contact with as many people as possible and not looking away until they do (hopefully I'm not being creepy).

3. BE AROUND PEOPLE MORE-Sometimes this isn't possible when all of my friends are busy or when I have a lot of homework to do. But maybe I could try to do HW in one of the dorm lounges or in the library instead in order to get out of my room? I've been trying to find ways to get out as much as possible especially on weekends.

4. BE MORE PRESENT-This has definitely improved since the start of my NoFap streak, but I've thought of way to improve here that I've already had success with. When I walk places and have no one to talk to, I usually put on my headphones and listen to some music. I'm now thinking that not only does this seclude me and make me less aware of my surroundings (even if I'm in public in broad daylight), it might give off the vibe that I enjoy being secluded, alone, and trapped inside my own head. So today I experimented with this. I wore headphones on the way to the gym and in the gym. But once I left the gym to get breakfast, I took them out, and kept them out. On my way to lunch, I made eye contact with a girl crossing the street who gave me a shy smile and glanced down. But when we actually passed each other I think I saw her look back up at me again. Then, when I was eating, there was a girl who turned around several times and look back at me. So maybe more girls are finding me attractive than I think!

5. **STOP DOING THINGS TO IMPRESS GIRLS**-Since day 30, whenever I'm about to do something, I think about why I'm doing it for a couple of seconds. Sometimes I arrive at the conclusion that I'm not doing it for myself, but to impress girls. However, I don't really know what to do with this information. I personally WANT to do it, but for the wrong reasons, so should I do it because me, myself is motivated to do it, or should I not do it because it's not really to improve myself. The real problem arises with going to the gym, where I WANT to do it, it CAN impress girls, and it improves MYSELF.

So, until tomorrow night!