5 MONTHS FURTHER, NOW WHAT??

Brother Im not sure on the meeting a woman you give her O and she gives you O as not being a relapse in some ways... as just by your reaction to it you probably realised that it was just those urges powering that encounter... however there is nothing wrong in learning from mistakes... thats what being human is quite often about!

Right then from what you have posted my logical 'ish' side says that I guess you should be thinking about getting to a know a woman properly at some stage without just sex on the mind..is this possible..at this stage in my journey I dont know.. but it would be a nice ideal!

For me precum would be a sign that your aroused.. and thinking sex... but whether that is just a normal reaction to talking to a woman or a sign that your still unable to control your urges I really have no clue.. i guess it depends whats going on in your head?
somethings telling me its the latter but hey Im 100% not healed so what do I actually know to be honest.

The only other things I can think to add is ...That DONT forget though that this is about US as individuals..
The woman shouldnt really be the priority in any of that..
We need to develop our sexual behaviours and thought patterns.. sex is natural.. but our thoughts,behaviours and patterns are not due to many reasons..
perhaps keep talking to women in a friends only way..test yourself in trying not to get to connected etc.. it may take quite some time just doing this I 'think' but again I dont actually know.

Possibly the woman you talk to will maybe end up wondering why you didnt really hit on her.. but hey thats her problem and she isnt the priority in this!
I dont mean this in a negative attitude towards women way like its all there fault... but I guess we need to normalise contact with woman as much as anything else.

And just a reminder that on the flip side of everything we have dont to ourselves over the years dont forget that a lot of women crave sexual attention and want to be desired.. and in modern times as much as men have got caught up in false sexual beliefs so have women.. its almost like to many of them that if we dont chase them for sex we arent normal.. sounds like an abuse of power there maybe? or just a willingness to take advantage of a situation to gain more attention.. who knows! haha

But hey brother Im far from anti women.. and its all a consequence of circumstances in many respects.. its just US as addicts have to be concerned with our development and continued growth.

The truth for me is Im funnily enough more inclined to a really feminine woman deep down if Im honest..
although my head backed up with my addictions will send me off down the lust route if im not careful!

Hey my posts end up being all about me atm! haha so Ill stop there as Im probably getting off the subject as usual..
and just to say Im nowhere near the 5 months you have acheived.. so I can only think of ideas, for me atm its about careful contact with woman..easy does it!

All the best though Brother and hope something makes sense in there!

 

Hey Brother.. Im not healed so your asking the wrong man!
At the end of the day, its what you think that matters.. maybe you are healed!
I can only comment on what I 'think'...
what do YOU think... thats really the question here as only you know?
I have suggested some things from how I feel about what you have said.. but the rest is up to you my man.. the overall responsibility is in your hands.
Peace Brother

 

well done. Keep going

 

what do you want to hear brother?

Basically your 5 months in and still having perverse thoughts towards women and not really thinking about getting to know a woman or
moving towards a relationship by the sound of things...
so to put bluntly your still in the bog of eternal stench by the sound of it brother..
So unless you enjoy being knee deep in poop....the only thing is to keep going and learn to
evaluate yourself...
and only you know your true motivations brother and if you actually really want to commit to this!

Based on my assumption....my only advice is keep going and take some time to think/meditate and ask yourself questions.

 

Ah so thats what you wanted to hear hey... a reason to quit maybe... put the responsibility on others hey... typical addict mindset there bro...

But what your saying isnt quite right bro,you have taken a massive step by stopping for a sustained period of time!
But what you got to learn is to turn this around for yourself.. as I and everyone here arent going to take responsibility for your battle...
WELL actually I will for a cash sum of course! haha

Brother I dont know your history but if its even slightly like mine... then you have done well!

It seems this thread is sort of feeling a lot like you want to bash yourself on the head and undo your good work but you wont even admit that to yourself so you have asked others to do it for you...
something you have to work on for sure...
and Im doing the same.. And I find I also will at times in many areas of my life if I feel a bit sorry for myself.

So breathe easy mate, there is just more work to do! as there is always..

A sportsman cant just relax when hes doing well! No.. he has to keep going and keep improving himself.. hint hint

Only thing I can say now and obviously Im not actually in your head (thank god haha) so I dont know you really... is look at your motivations, work hard in other areas of your life... meditate and breathe, and remember where you have come from and the progress you have made.. things are looking good.. but like the sportsman.. keep moving forward and keep improving yourself... your doing this for you.. not to prove something to any of us.

But dont ask others to do your dirty work brother... we arent your parent... but I do totally get it bro!

 

My friend, my friend, my friend...you have reached the point that we all wish to reach. What you’re experiencing is the exact reason for this site. To heal us from the addiction to (hyper)unrealistic experiences found from PMO.

I base my knowledge off of experience and bits and pieces of information from people who I know are educated.

What all that is telling me, is that what you’re experiencing is actually how mating works. How it’s supposed to work and not how today’s technology tries to make us think it works.

Pre-cum, from what I understand, is a very normal and simple part of the mating process. Your body is basically saying “Okay, we have a potential mate. Let’s get ready.”

Even if you aren’t consciously thinking about sex and maybe you’re just having a simple conversation with a woman.

Your extreme urges to meet women is actually your completely natural urge to, what some call, “pass on your genes”. To further extend, not only humanity, but your own family’s bloodline. Of course, don’t consciously think of the act as just passing on your genes because we are more than animals.

My friend, you need to be rejoicing on the highest mountain you can climb, because you have undone what decades of high-speed internet PMO has done to your brain, your personality, and simply your livelihood.

Embrace these new feelings you are having, grab life by the collar, and tell it: “I am walking you, you are not walking me.”

Congratulations, @Quaresma, you have just become the hero of many.

 

No, we thank you! Your success story will give so much hope to so many people struggling. Love and peace my friend.
❤️✌️

 

Hi, well done on getting this far it's not easy and it requires a lot of discipline so well done I'm not far behind you. Precum will normalise as all your systems will return to normal, biological and physiological. Is my guess.