Depression

WillyRonka · Apr 28, 2018

So my brother and I have lived together for 3.5 years. My brother is a good kid, but not the smartest kid. We work in a fast food shop together, but only got the job because of me. He only lives with me, because literally no one else wants him. I'm all he's got really.

We live about 7 miles away from our parents, and he is more dependent on them than I am. He gets Social Security benefits, works limited hours, and when he's home, he does nothing but lay on the couch and watch TV all day.

I, on the other hand am the complete opposite. I work out very often, especially now that I'm on NoFap. I work 40+hours a week. I limit myself to how much meat and dairy I eat, and I'm an overall happier person that he is. So living with him has been difficult.

Anyway, yesterday he called mommy complaining that we don't talk much and I didn't give him many hours at work. Much to my surprise, our stepdad felt sympathetic for him, and went off on me. He later told me that he himself is battling alcohol addiction, and isn't handling it very well.

My stepdad and I do not have a good past, and the old me would've fought him. Yesterday, I gave him a hug to calm him down so that I could tell him my side of what's been going on.

Our chat ended on a positive note, but the family is all shook up, and today was a difficult day to do my job.

With all this in my thoughts, Im feeling a strong urge to go to the strip club for a lap dance to help relieve all my stress. I never have felt an urge to go to a strip club before today. I'm doing my best to avoid it.

I'm making more of an effort to communicate with my brother more. We've meditated together the last 2 days, and I bought him a new roku so that he can start watching the positive content that's been helping me.

All this stress has me feeling really depressed. I even watching some lap dance offs on YouTube, and never even got hard.

Just thought I'd share my story. On day 16 without any relapses. My third longest streak since i started my nofap journey. Here's to keeping it going.

sev94 · Apr 28, 2018

We all have tough times. You're under a lot of stress, but do not give in. Do what it takes to keep yourself off strip clubs/porn. It is easier said than done, but it's the right thing to do.

Keep going brother, you can do this.

Gideonite · Apr 28, 2018

16 days in, your third best streak? Why sabotage something good going for some quicl fix that won't do anything but harm? I understand that you are going through hard times atm but you should do something productive like exercise, reading or a hobby. You can go further in life if you beat this poison of addiction once and for all. I believe in you. We all do. Keep going strong brother. Godspeed

WillyRonka · Apr 28, 2018

Gideonite said: ↑

16 days in, your third best streak? Why sabotage something good going for some quicl fix that won't do anything but harm? I understand that you are going through hard times atm but you should do something productive like exercise, reading or a hobby. You can go further in life if you beat this poison of addiction once and for all. I believe in you. We all do. Keep going strong brother. Godspeed
Click to expand...

I know. 16 days is nothing. I have yet to even do 30 days let alone 90. But I feel great today. I resisted the strip club, meditated in the park, did my laundry, and made dinner for my brother and I....he didn't like it

Deleted Account · Apr 29, 2018

@WillyRonka Living in a society and having a family make us responsible, to a certain extent, for other people's destinies. And you're a very responsible person, but you shouldn't take on more responsibility than you're supposed to. When I say we have a responsibility, I don't mean we have to teach or tell other people what to do; we may not even interact with them at all, because it's our actions that matter more, not our words.

A father or brother who does the right thing will teach his relatives more about life than any sermon or lecture, through the power of example.

And your actions have proved that you do the right thing. You have no reason to feel stressed out and relapse.

I don't know your situation, but I wish I had been as responsible as you when I was younger. I have to confess that all my life I've been shallow, irresponsible and unreliable.

I hope you'll become a success story.

thelasttruthtold · Apr 30, 2018

WillyRonka said: ↑

So my brother and I have lived together for 3.5 years. My brother is a good kid, but not the smartest kid. We work in a fast food shop together, but only got the job because of me. He only lives with me, because literally no one else wants him. I'm all he's got really.

We live about 7 miles away from our parents, and he is more dependent on them than I am. He gets Social Security benefits, works limited hours, and when he's home, he does nothing but lay on the couch and watch TV all day.

I, on the other hand am the complete opposite. I work out very often, especially now that I'm on NoFap. I work 40+hours a week. I limit myself to how much meat and dairy I eat, and I'm an overall happier person that he is. So living with him has been difficult.

Anyway, yesterday he called mommy complaining that we don't talk much and I didn't give him many hours at work. Much to my surprise, our stepdad felt sympathetic for him, and went off on me. He later told me that he himself is battling alcohol addiction, and isn't handling it very well.

My stepdad and I do not have a good past, and the old me would've fought him. Yesterday, I gave him a hug to calm him down so that I could tell him my side of what's been going on.

Our chat ended on a positive note, but the family is all shook up, and today was a difficult day to do my job.

With all this in my thoughts, Im feeling a strong urge to go to the strip club for a lap dance to help relieve all my stress. I never have felt an urge to go to a strip club before today. I'm doing my best to avoid it.

I'm making more of an effort to communicate with my brother more. We've meditated together the last 2 days, and I bought him a new roku so that he can start watching the positive content that's been helping me.

All this stress has me feeling really depressed. I even watching some lap dance offs on YouTube, and never even got hard.

Just thought I'd share my story. On day 16 without any relapses. My third longest streak since i started my nofap journey. Here's to keeping it going.
Click to expand...

Keep strong brother- find another outlet to release stress. DONT GO BACK TO SQUARE 1-keep digging and digging

WillyRonka · Apr 30, 2018

robertgianni1976 said: ↑

@WillyRonka Living in a society and having a family make us responsible, to a certain extent, for other people's destinies. And you're a very responsible person, but you shouldn't take on more responsibility than you're supposed to. When I say we have a responsibility, I don't mean we have to teach or tell other people what to do; we may not even interact with them at all, because it's our actions that matter more, not our words.

A father or brother who does the right thing will teach his relatives more about life than any sermon or lecture, through the power of example.

And your actions have proved that you do the right thing. You have no reason to feel stressed out and relapse.

I don't know your situation, but I wish I had been as responsible as you when I was younger. I have to confess that all my life I've been shallow, irresponsible and unreliable.

I hope you'll become a success story.
Click to expand...

Thank you for your kind words! I really needed to hear that!

WillyRonka · Apr 30, 2018

thelasttruthtold said: ↑

Keep strong brother- find another outlet to release stress. DONT GO BACK TO SQUARE 1-keep digging and digging
Click to expand...

Feeling better as the days pass. Ran 10 miles today. Got a 25K on May 12th. By then, I'll have completed my first 30 day streak! Thanks for your encouragement!

thelasttruthtold · May 1, 2018

WillyRonka said: ↑

Feeling better as the days pass. Ran 10 miles today. Got a 25K on May 12th. By then, I'll have completed my first 30 day streak! Thanks for your encouragement!
Click to expand...

Fantastic!!! I have immersed myself into long distance running too which has helped me alot. After participating and completing a half marathon, I realised you can apply the same mental strength, resilience, and determination to beating this addiction.

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