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Obsession with my junk size

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Ineedhelp321, Apr 27, 2018.

  1. Ineedhelp321

    Ineedhelp321 Fapstronaut

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    Im about 54 days in (something like that anyway) and im stumbling. I’ve had a long standing obsession with trying to prove to myself that I’m adequate in all areas of my life, but most specifically penis size. Now I’m not going to go into specifics, but I’m well above average so this is purely irrational thinking on my part, but I still feel the need to find justification for myself to make myself feel good about what I have, even though my girl constantly is complementing me and my preformance in bed.
    This is why I started posting pictures of myself on tumblr pages and on reddit to try and get approval from strangers. My getting busted by my girl was the proverbial last straw, and she said if I didn’t get help and if I didn’t change she was going to leave and take my son and unborn daughter with her.
    I’m almost 8 weeks into no PMO but I’m starting to get those same feelings of inadequacy, and now I’m finding myself googling the average penis size and what size is big, and what size makes you a “real man” which is taking me down the road to the self deprecating porn I was watching way back when.
    I thank you all for being a good support group to fall on to vent when I know I’m stumbling, I just hope I can resist temptation where before I gave in.
     
    Kaissa, Nugget9 and Deleted Account like this.
  2. LilD

    LilD Fapstronaut

    Hello,

    For me, the only way to feel good about myself is to stop focusing on my shortcomings (pun intended) and start focusing on the things I want to achieve, or on the things which make me feel good. For example, instead of worrying about being too skinny I started going to a gym. Or, instead of thinking about all the bad things which may happen in the future, I often meditate to find myself in the present moment.

    When I specifically think about my penis size I ask myself who is that I want to impress. I have nobody who would care about it anyway, so why bother? You have your gf who is already happy, so why would you care about what strangers think? Are you sure that you're seeking approval? Maybe you suffer from some form of exhibitionism?
     
  3. Chudmeister

    Chudmeister Fapstronaut

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    What does penis size have to with being a man? I have an average penis doesn't mean in less of a man than you are.if your girl likes it, why are you worried about anyone else liking it?
     
  4. It's been my experience that women care most about emotional intimacy and things like caring and connection, rather than expecting some kind of perfection in the bedroom. Keeping this in mind has helped me in the past when I've had similar unnecessary concerns about myself.
     
  5. I'm a girl, I don't mind size lol
     
  6. Ineedhelp321

    Ineedhelp321 Fapstronaut

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    But see the thing is I know I’m well above average and my girl almost always orgasms. I just feel this need for affirmation in my life, and I guess my penis is no different.
     
    Phoenix234 likes this.
  7. Grapejuice69

    Grapejuice69 Fapstronaut

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    Simple. Start stretching and jelqing.. Go on Pegym.com
     
  8. Vulkan

    Vulkan Fapstronaut

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    Just be happy with what you have. Who is perfect? Others are disabled or have serious health problems, they have something to really worry about.
     
  9. The OP has said he is already well above average. The small gains that most guys get from pegym type stuff will not alleviate his problem, because his problem is in his head, not in his penis.
     
    thorswrath32 likes this.

  10. Have you thought about seeing a psychologist...since its starting to affect your relationship and your family? Sometimes speaking to a specialist can really help and there's no shame in reaching out for help no matter how embarrassing or ridiculous you think your problem might be. Hypnotherapy might be an option? don't rule it out, i had NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) Therapy which is a kind of hypnotherapy for a nervous blinking problem i had and it worked.
     
    Woodcutter74, FutureDoctor and Vulkan like this.
  11. Grapejuice69: Welcome to my Ignore list.
     
    thorswrath32 likes this.
  12. DE.HK

    DE.HK Fapstronaut

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    Well, what you are experiencing is exactly the opposite of me. I always worry about my size, even though everyone said they enjoy having his company lol.

    I think that is beyond the problem of size, it is about how we think about ourselves. For me, I always have a feeling that I couldn't satisfy a woman, physically and emotionally. That's why even though I found some girls attractive and the chemistry went well, I still felt so inadequate and stopped to develop further with her. There might be a childhood trauma which leads to this situation, but I think we also have to realize that has nothing to do with our size. Try to list out what your strengths are, and compliment yourself for everything that you had done for yourself and your family. Stay positive buddy!
     
  13. john27

    john27 Fapstronaut

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    To be fair, some men have a micropenis. They can barely get it inside and none of the involved will feel anything. Sure, you can satisfy women in other ways, but not being able to do PiV sex is a big hit to your feeling as a man.
     
    Masketta Man and Amazing Athest like this.
  14. The OP is not in this category.
     
  15. Seems like you have a form of OCD thought process lol, if it bothers you that much see a counselor or psychologist. http://www.brainphysics.com/lifestyle/ocd/understanding-the-ocd-thought-process
     
  16. I think that you are probably taking the wrong approach on this, instead of trying to reassure yourself by going under the judgement of others (which will probably lead to more anxiety because man we all now that many ppl online just enjoy being mean for fun) you should try to focus on something else. Do more than just NoFap, do sports, meditate, find yourself a hobby. I am convinced that being active and interact with others is the key to be happy with yourself. And if you feel good in your own skin (I dunno if this expression means something in English but it does in my country), you will just forget those kinds of psychological complex (and it clearly is if your penis is above average)
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  17. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    Wow, that's not a very nice thing to say. OP came here for help, not to be ridiculed. This is supposed to be a supportive community where we can open up to one another without fear of judgment or hurtful language. You're being rude, and your comment is not constructive at all. It doesn't offer any advice, doesn't point OP in the right direction, and it certainly isn't going to make him feel any better about himself. We're all in this together, and we came to this forum because we know we can't tackle addiction on our own.
     
    DE.HK, FutureDoctor and Immature like this.
  18. So let me just take a wild guess: you are here because you never did anything that you were ashamed of, or that didn't make any damn sense, and your life was just great. Is that right? /sarc
     
    FutureDoctor likes this.
  19. Zombro

    Zombro Fapstronaut

    When you feel personally inadequate or unmanly you focus your anxiety somewhere, like on your dick. The problem is in your head and when that is solved you probably won't care about how big it is. Mine's no showpiece and I am reasonably comfortable with that.
     
    FutureDoctor likes this.
  20. Mike_July_2017

    Mike_July_2017 Fapstronaut

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    I did a lot of things I am ashamed of. Too many. However I managed to ruin my life alone, and not also the life of others.

    While it is true my previous post and reaction was too aggressive, and I apologize for that, this man is endangering innocent kids. That does not seem fair.

    I do not mean he is endangering them physically - but he is endangering them emotionally and financially. The children will have to suffer because they father will have less to offer them because of his addiction.

    I was an abused child myself, I can tell you that children will figure out something is wrong and they will feel bad and shamed and somehow guilty themselves.
     
    Immature likes this.

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