Hi all. I am in nofapforever mode (3 weeks now). To not lose my social skills I use some social dating apps. Is it ok to meet girls during the reboot process (which as i gave promise to myself - will never end)? I really don't want to sit at home and try not to think about masturbation for the first 60 or 90 days. However, meeting girls would make me fantasize (at least during the date) which some people consider as relapsing and I not necessarily agree with it.
Fantasizing in your head is not a relapse. When you go to the "action" alone, then it is a relapse. No matter how many months of NoFap you take, you are not going to stop thinking about sex. You should control those thoughts to make your NoFap journey easier but feeling bad about them is stupid (of course this is my opinion). What is your ultimately propuse of meeting girls?
bro i think you should find something else . If you are into girls in anyway it will always be a relapse. It is a bad habit . But i don't know about your culture so don't mind please.
Is meeting girls a bad habit? Are you kidding me? So do you mean nofap is about losing social skils, just sitting at home and trying not masturbate? I believe its not about that. I believe meeting girls is not bad, even kissing should not be consireded as a bad thing. If goal is to move away from unnatural sources for arousal, like porn, selftouching and etc, girls are totally fine. In the end we do nofap so we could enjoy them for 100%.
I consider it a danger in the first few weeks, because any dates that don't go to plan can trigger a relapse (in my experience anyways). But it's good to talk to girls, go on dates even. Get your mind used to interacting with women naturally! Just be ready if you go on a few dates with one girl, you may have to come up with some story if you plan on avoiding intimacy for 2+ months.
Hey rommp I think its absolutely fine to date girls while on a reboot. It does kind of depends on what goals you have personally. In the end most of us want a partner to have a healthy sexual relationship with and the way to find one is dating. Dating girls is real and a social act while PMO is fake and it can harm your sexuality and social abilities. You shouldn't be at home 24/7 trying not to PMO because thats usually when it happens, when you try to resist something it becomes stronger. Just focus on the things you want to build in your life, hobbies and relationships. I don't think its relapsing when you're on a date fantasizing about the girl you're with. If you go home afterwards and PMO because that fantasy lead you there then thats a relapse. Just be careful not to let the fantasy take over your mind so you don't relapse for real afterwards. I'm also trying to continue nofap forever, and if i meet a cute girl then i would definitely date her. I see nothing wrong with dating on a reboot.
What other people consider relapsing is their problem, not yours. You know what issues brought you here. You know how you want to deal with them. If it works for you, great! If you find things aren't working you may want to re-think how you approach reboot. It really amazes me how many people here think that based on no more than a few sentences that get posted, they know what's best for you better than you do. As for my 2 cents...I never found socializing with women to be a problem during NoFap. I found it to be beneficial for me. I was far more likely to relapse when I was socially isolated and alone.