I'm so tired of failing I hope this place helps

Nimets, you're last sentence is just where I get to. I've tried to give up before, but then the days go by and the urge returns. You fight it for a while, but in the end, the urge wins. After all these years, it's so strong. I'm looking for the solution of what to do, particularly at night when you're in bed trying to sleep. You can't just get up and go do something. How do you get to sleep?

 

Stay up till you can't even stay up anymore. Play video games and then fall asleep to some netflix if you can. That's what I have been doing. You'll get tired enough eventually to where it doesn't matter if you fapped or not. And if you still can't fall asleep, screw it, stay up the whole next day. until you're finally able to sleep without fapping.

We have to choose to watch porn or to endure a few days, weeks, months of sexual frustration. And knowing what porn brings, I'm choosing the frustration. Good Luck.

 

I hear you. But you're gonna have to figure it out one way or another. Masturbating to fall asleep is false justification. Research all you can on insomnia and tips to fall asleep. Turn it into a new goal. Off the top of my head I know there is melatonin for insomnia but I'm not sure that's your problem. There's also milk and reading. Or try exhausting yourself during the day so when it's bed time you pass out. I've had days even before nofap where I just passed out after a long day because I had been so busy. And I'd surprise myself in the morning, thinking about how I didn't jerk off last night.

I know with work and studies it's difficult but it's not impossible. Don't give up and remember why you're doing this.

 

I no what your going through...i startd when i was 11 and now im 25. for me its in the mourning when I wake up wen its worse.
at night best thing to do is too watch or read something really boring. but still paykng attention until you start switching off.

 

Hi Nimets, if you'd like to talk more about this, PM me.

But here's what I can add:

When I desire to stop and get sexually sober, I can. There are reasons for that, one of which is that I have a stronger will than many. The danger for me is if I lose the desire to be sexually sober. I find that I must take better care of myself. . .lousy self-care is becoming a new addiction for me.

But, like I said, PM me if you like.

Take care, and thank you.

 

I understand brother but if we don't take care of this situation now it will only grow. You have a girlfriend? I lived before with my x girlfriend and never fapped till i moved into another province. Same thing if she is in town just think don't wast your semen save it to pleasure with your gf. If we fap we are giving a peace of my soal away. This though only really helped me to stop. Check out the rebooting forum, has great tools as well. Good luck to all of us! Cheers

 

Don't waste your time replacing one escape behavior with another.

There's nothing wrong with these in moderation but if they're consuming huge chunks of your time you need to be doing something else. An hour of downtime to relax and unwind is fine. I use to play video games all the time, I still watched porn. It isn't getting to the root of the problem.

Exercise, educate yourself, build relationships, meditate, create something new, set goals for yourself, go bowling, shoot pool, play basketball, play board games with real friends - improve your life.

I work over forty hours a week at a full-time job that kicks my ass everyday. I still find time to do these things. Work should not become your entire life and give you an excuse to veg around all day and masturbate to fall asleep.

 

I didn't say he should play videos games all day. It was in response to him not being able to sleep at night because he can't masturbate and I just told him what I do when I can't sleep. I also suggested milk and reading.

We all know what it means to lead a fulfilling life so I'm not sure why your taking my comment out of context.

 

I've used the excuse, "If I masturbate, I'll go to sleep," hundreds of times before (yes, I said hundreds) but it never works. My mind just wanders everywhere at night. The best thing you can do when you can't get to sleep is just to lay there until the urge passes, then just think of other, non-sexual things. What I do is divert my thoughts to my writing (I'm a novelist) and that helps. If you have a passion, just think about that. For me, my passion for writing is stronger than my urge to fap.

Good luck with your battle, I'll be here for you if you ever need some encouragement.

 

You should join a group like Sex Addicts Anonymous or get a therapist, or preferably both, and start reading sex addiction literature in earnest. A lot of people on this website have rebooted without these things but for some the addiction is more full blown and encompasses greater underlying dysfunctions that need to be worked through. All the best.