PMO-Free Monthly Thread: Self Mastery May 2018

Community is good. Thanks Ellis B. Thanks NoFap. We are not alone! ☀️

 

Hey dude, good luck, strength and discipline Brother.
As a starting point, go to page 19 of www.NoFap.com/getting-started and read from there. I know the feeling all too well; all too well, all the very best to you. Stay PMO Free, you can do it and you are worth it! Chali

 

Would you like to participate? - Yes thanks, I did come in late though, day three of the challenge ( I started yesterday, with me on day one), no stress though, here goes:

• Hard mode: No P, No M No O. No P,M nor O. No PMO.
• I’m committed to 100 days, but to be honest, I’d be happy for the No ‘P’ commitment to be permanent. That would be good.
• Goals:
• Goal 1: 100 days PMO Free.
• Required actions: to commit, to seek help when required, to provide the same for others as much as I can, and to understand the power of this hook and respect it for what it is and how it acts. I intend to respect myself more than this hook by not simply succumbing to this urge, I will do this by focusing my familiarity on staying PMO Free and cultivating this commitment. Both gross and subtle, beware the subtle tiptoe of the alluring image of physical beauty on the brain, very quickly subtle can turn to gross. Stay free. See and turn away, no turning back. Focus. Commitment. Will.
• Why am I doing this? Because I can. Because I am committed to love. Because I will conquer Mr Lust. Through: Self control, self mastery and love. I am doing it for myself, my friends, my family, and my community. I am committed to be best version of myself and modelling this in my world. So be it!

 

So then, what does this mean for NoFap? Well it's in that last line, really. "Mind your mind & mind your hands." We need to pay attention to what is going on in our minds, and to what our hands are doing. We cannot always control what comes into our minds, but we can control what to do with those thoughts. Do we act on them without further consideration? No. That is what got us to this terrible place of being stuck in a PMO loop. Rather, we acknowledge those thoughts and find healthy solutions to them. So the question I ask myself is, what are my hands doing? I can either fap, or journal, or call someone. We have a choice every time we have a thought.

That said, I can't go around thinking about NoFap all day every day. It isn't practical, and it quickly becomes a toxic thought. If I'm always thinking about it, then I am baiting the lion, and I will fap eventually. Instead, what I have to do is pay attention to myself when I feel urges, am triggered, and am in danger of being triggered. Then I must identify what my body is trying to tell me, and find a healthy way of dealing with that. Maybe all I need to do is to feel an emotion, write down an idea, talk to someone about something that is bothering me. Whatever it may be, it will have a better outcome than fapping, even if it is more difficult or takes longer.

And that is really where the issue lies. It isn't simply a habit or result of a trauma. It is the way we have learned to manage our thoughts, emotions, and spirit; and it is a bad way. But these things are difficult to unlearn. They require work to tear down bad associations and build new good ones. And that requires some understanding of where/what the associations are.

However, it isn't the best to go down too deep into the rabbit hole of self-evaluation before building new and better habits. We may not fully understand every aspect of our condition and how it relates to PMO, but it is likely that we know something, and that is the best place to start. We will uncover more as we progress through our reboot. But for now, if we want to not simply suffer through a reboot with sheer grit and willpower (which will eventually run out), if we want to be truly healthy in our minds and souls, if we want to rid ourselves of this despicable me for the rest of our lives, then we need to do it completely. Take out the root.

Mind your mind & mind your hands.

 

Sound thoughts. Thanks for sharing.

 

I’m in—today was day one. Tomorrow day two. Let’s do this.

 

Day 2 no porn NoFap

 

Day 4 down. Prayed and God delivered.

 

Successfully finished my first 7-day challenge, so I pushing forward to finish the month of May!

 

Day 3 and doing ok. Started the day w a run and it feels great.

 

Hard mode, since May 2th, let's do this

 

Hard mode 31 days for a clear mind and focus.

 

Day 5 in the books on hard mode.

 

Hey, I am Abhi from India, and I am in

 

Day 4. So far so good. On vacation but heading back to real world later today. That can often be triggering so I plan to reach out a little more today.

 

Last night I went out for a drive and was thinking as I got home tat I might beat off. It was the thought "So what if you do it, who cares, nothing bad will happen." But when I got home I got a notice from another guy needing an accountability partner and I realize that one of the reasons I want to succeed is so that I can then help other guys out of the trap in the future. I need to be strong and to succeed and to learn how it is done more long-term than I have done it so far so that I can give better guidance to guys who want out in the future.

 

Really beautiful post here. Thanks for this. This bit in the last paragraph - I do this a lot. I have the feeling I need to understand fully everything about why I choose to masturbate excessively. It becomes so overwhelming when I begin to try to unpack everything that I usually just say, "Screw it" and do it again. But the truth is that it's always possible to take new action. Sometimes taking that one positive step, even if it's just to stop and listen to what I really need. I can't begin to understand the scope of my years of unhealthy behavior all at once. But perhaps with time and patience, one little moment of realization at a time, can I start to turn the tide.

After a long hiatus from NoFap, I'm now reenergized to commit. I'm a little late for this month, but I'm starting now regardless, committing to no PM for the month. I have a girlfriend who supports me completely in this endeavor.

 

Hi All,

I am in. I started exactly on May 1st. My last relapse dates back to Monday 30 April. I didn't know there was a forum for May month. I exactly wanted to acheive 31 days without PMO. So far i made 7 days without any major problem. I have low sexual desire/libido, i have low energy and a little bit tired. But i don't have any urges. I will keep updating regularly in any forum in this website.

 

Keep going everyone! My present streak started a little before May obviously, but I jumped on this challenge to give my streak a 31-day boost. I am not trying to brag, but I hit my 3 week streak mark today, and I am proud of that! Let’s keep moving forward! One day at a time!

 

Good work, keep your mind and hands at check.