Did PMO fuck you up?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Deleted Account, Apr 18, 2018.

  1. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

    Pretty bad I fapped 5 times today, maybe more.
     
  2. Yeah, I know what you mean. I feel bad already but when I think about how bad I feel and the state I am in, it just makes things worse which makes it really hard to see things in the positive.

    Trying to keep my head up, but recovery is so tricky, I don’t know what to believe in. I guess only forward
     
  3. That’s a lot!! Try exercising and meditating if you can, they will help lessen the want to keep relapsing. Stay strong.
     
  4. Hey, does anyone feel like when they peek, they lose their benefits? What do you do after that? I peeked yesterday for like a minute and the symptoms worsen, I wonder if I would feel better now if I didn’t peeknfor that minute yesterday
     
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  5. tommy_cheadle

    tommy_cheadle Fapstronaut

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    PMO took my marriage, my home, my career and my self control. It fucked my life over - and indirectly my family's lives. It took away everything I had built up over nearly 30 years.
     
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  6. I am really sorry to hear that. I hope things are getting better. How far are you into your reboot??
     
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  7. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

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    Hang in there dude!

    According to a science video I watched, it’s pretty tough for 30 days. Then the cravings get better.

    What has helped me is:
    • Daily meditation
    • Daily journaling
    • Daily exercise
    • Attempting to pray often (I’m not religious so this one is tough for me)
    • Changing my sleep schedule
    • Changing my diet
    • Making phone calls to others who understand and letting them know how I’m doing, good or bad.
    • Rigorous self honesty
    • SAA meetings
    • Working the 12 steps with a sponsor.
    I’m not sure if any one thing is the best, but I do them all daily and I now have 39 days sober. And I’m feeling just slightly better overall. Most things on the list take no more than 10 minutes each so not too bad.

    I will say that my urges are sometimes gone. Sometimes they come back strong, but generally they hover around 5/10 (where 10/10 is relapse and 1/10 is zero in appropriate desires).

    Hope this helps and feel free to PM me anytime.
     
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  8. maroon

    maroon Fapstronaut

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    It really fucked me up,before PMO started I was a guy full of life, I was principled and disciplined with a high self esteem. I build healthy relationship with people even when I had girls flocking around me I never had this kind of sexual thoughts towards them I just make friends with a clean mind even my academic has been affected I was the kind of guy who is always determined to do better even after having straight As inshort i was the guy you'll call an all rounder but everything is downsized no sense of ambition,almost interested in nothing,girls become object of sexual fantasies so I decided to remain isolated to avoid embarrassment, struggle with bad grades and I couldn't just help myself improve. Everything has been let off guard ,I hope I find help here
     
  9. Do you have the often mentioned mental symptoms such as brain fog, bad memory, anxiety and depression?
     
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  10. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing. This sounds like me.

    I had my first real conversation yesterday with a girl and it was the most normal it’s been in a long time. Of course not perfect and there’s lots of issues I have still with sexualizing women and also craving the emotional stuff too, but overall the conversation was very innocent and pleasant.

    I hope this continues to get better. I really look forward to not being consumed by sexual thoughts 24/7
     
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  11. I hate being consumed by sexual thoughts as well. I feel like as men our social status is defined by how many girls we get and we have to share our experiences. Do you think so? Or am I being paranoid? Because I feel like if I don’t talk about sex to others then others will think I’m not getting any and they will think I’m a loser or not cool. I don’t care about being cool but I feel like people treat you differently depending on how they view you socially and that makes me anxious. Do my thoughts hold merit?
     
  12. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

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    I think it depends on the social circle you’re in and also age. The older I get the less that’s a topic. People start to talk more about work, the social lives, their vacations etc...

    But there are definitely circles that continue to talk like this for a long time. I haven’t hung out with them recently :) but I’m sure they’re out there.

    Recently I’ve been hanging out at SAA meetings and those people don’t objectify women, or at least are honestly trying not to so it’s a different vibe.
     
  13. tommy_cheadle

    tommy_cheadle Fapstronaut

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    xXPharaohXx I agree. I don't come across anyone of my age who talks about women as objects or openly lusts after them. I think educational and social background probably feeds into it too.

    I'm currently seeking to broaden my very small social circle - with associations within political and spiritual circles.
     
  14. Abetterbrain

    Abetterbrain Fapstronaut

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    I do now. I have come to realise how much damage it has done to me. I won't go into the change and the destruction it has cause me both mentally and physically but it makes me sick to not have know about the damage of PMO before.
     
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  15. March 5

    March 5 Fapstronaut

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    Yes... HOCD brought me here which is one terrible thing, but now I am way more afraid that I will never be able to connect with a women on an emotional level ever again.

    PMO really just makes every bad thing in your life much worse and the good things not as good. Really no upside at all to PMO. I am 24 now and I wish I had discovered this in high school, but now is my new beginning.

    I think the main thing PMO did was mask all of my problems and hide just how lonely I was. Instead of working to meet a girl or be the man I need to be to get what I want.... I would just PMO. But, on a positive note, I have started the journey to be the best version of me.
     
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  16. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

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    It seems like a theme on here that more PMO leads to small social circles. I know for me, my social life steadily decreased as my PMO increased and got more intense.

    Thanks for sharing. Good to know I’m not alone.
     
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  17. maroon

    maroon Fapstronaut

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    I think it just lack of concentration
     
  18. I need to get out there and be more social, I am realizing, since being alone for 3 years, that I want to connect. But more than that, I want a girlfriend. I realize, having friends is one thing but a significant other where you can connect with mentally and physically and just share everything about you is very satisfying and relieving, perhaps because it's a part of us a humans that we find a counterpart to connect with, both mentally and physically, touch is important.
    But yeah, the common theme for today is sex and it isn't right. Sex is powerful, it is what makes us us. It is the base for our power and drive but for some reason it seems like it is flipped and used against us, debilitating us and having us on our knees to "sex" which is totally fucking up nature. Power to the people.

    More or less. I tried concentrating many times, but I notice I just can't hold onto the information. I remember I would talk to someone and they would say "Hi, my name is Bob" and I would remember that point in the conversation in which this person has stated their name. I notice now I don't remember that point anymore. But I do have a wandering mind. I notice when I engage too long into something typically mundane, my mind will drift and I lose focus.
     
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  19. I'm new here and haven't written a proper introduction. In short, yes I am considering that PMO has caused a lot of damage to my life. Until stumbling on NF, I had related these issues to other causes, and age. I'm 41. Im guessing that in 3-6 months Ill hopefully be able to confirm or deny the validity of the PMO effects.
     
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  20. kio_actualized

    kio_actualized Fapstronaut

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    I believe I keep fucking me up with PMO.
    Generally I just don't believe I can do it, so I relapse..
     
    Last edited: May 6, 2018

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