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20+ years of death grip PMO here.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by BiggA, May 6, 2018.

  1. BiggA

    BiggA Fapstronaut

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    Any stories of overcomming long term PMO? If so, how long did you abstain from PMO before being able to engage in normal sexual relations? Am I too far gone for recovery? Will I ever regain sensitivity? This sucks, but I did it to myself. I will man up and overcome this.
     
    dwayne Colling likes this.
  2. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    20 plus years of death grip? That means a long reboot.
     
  3. BiggA

    BiggA Fapstronaut

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    I also began seeing a woman for the first time in 20 years also. We attempted intercourse and of course I could not maintain an erection. She thinks it's due to her, I'm pissed off at myself because she thinks it's her when it's my own damn fault! I know there are other ways to please her but I'm gonna have to tell her this process is gonna take a long time. It's not fair to her.
     
  4. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    You need to stop masturbating too
     
  5. BiggA

    BiggA Fapstronaut

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    Yes, I'm aware I need to stop masturbation. Also I need to avoid the tube sites. Should I attempt at least some form of intimacy if I can go a week without PMO? BTW, I've never gone more than 4 days without PMO in my life. She is my motivation not to touch myself. I am looking forward to her touch and learning how to please her.
     
  6. seaguy44

    seaguy44 Moderator Assistant

    Two things:

    Be honest with her about your experience and tell her that it's not HER fault

    Stop masturbation. You need to heal. Let it heal and you'll have a great intercourse with your new woman.

    Good Luck! :)
     
  7. To reverse this, it is best to refrain from all sexual activity - solo or partnered. Tell her the truth. If she cares about you as a person, she will wait for as many months as it takes. If she doesn't care about you, you will find out soon, which will be painful, but better in the long run. The equates to heroin addiction. There is no magic wand or quick fix. Abstinence is the operative word. That is abstinence from porn (obviously), from edging and from masturbating until you cum. The simple rule is not to touch your dick unless you are peeing or washing it. Finally, you need to practice abstinence in your mind. So, no daydreaming about women as sexual objects. Basically, no fantasizing about anything sexual. These recommendations will give you the quickest and most effective recovery possible.
     
    bayern12 and seaguy44 like this.
  8. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    One week of abstinence really isn’t enough to help in any meanIngful way.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  9. JakeO5

    JakeO5 Fapstronaut

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    You will, personally I think people under 10 years of addiction probably only needs 30 to 60 days, but it is not really about the years, it is about how many time a day you did it?
     
  10. BiggA

    BiggA Fapstronaut

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    Sometimes once a day. Mostly twice or three times depending on mood. Usually when I did, I only touch the head directly to apply lotion because I'm circumcised. I apply pressure on the outside of my foreskin. I have cum directly touching the head so I know it's possible. Maybe TMI but...
     
  11. JakeO5

    JakeO5 Fapstronaut

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    Haha no it's fine, i really think personally you gonna atleast need 120 days for a full recovery, because it really becomes part of our lives, and it takes a while to drop it, you gonna go through some mental and emotional battles, you gonna be angry and bored, but if you fight you can make it
     
  12. dwayne Colling

    dwayne Colling Fapstronaut

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    I’m fighting the same fight bro, not 20 but maybe 7 or 8 Years. But what about me? Do I need a full 120 as well, I use to go dry with a tight grip. Lol and man the best way to keep from PMO is to keep yourself busy and focus on life. Maybe exercising or reading, even video games. Just something to occupy your time. I believe in you bro.
     
  13. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    A full 90 to 120 is optimal for pretty much everybody
     
    dwayne Colling likes this.
  14. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    It’s really about retraining your dick.
     
  15. JakeO5

    JakeO5 Fapstronaut

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    I was addicted for 10 years about and it was usually 3 to 5 times a day the last year, I'm now on day 20, i still struggle but i see small progress day by day
     
  16. BiggA

    BiggA Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the responses and advice fellow Fapstronauts. I have a partner that is wonderful and willing to work with me as I recover, so I am grateful for that.
     
  17. I don’t think so, 10 years is a long time. When you say 10 years, are you saying everyday during those 10 years? Also, you have to consider the frequency, everyday how many times a day?

    It seems like the people report getting better in under 90 days are the less intense, less heavy cases. The heavy users seem to be much longer, 6 months to a year to 18 months.

    Edit: just read the other comments lol are you just talking about erection recovery?
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  18. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    I hate to break it to you, but I'm entering my 6 month in hard mode, abstaining from P, MB, sex and still get no spontaneous arousals around women. I've been compulsive mb-or for 17 years. The funny thing is, I'm not even horny anymore. I can be with hot woman in bikini and no sexual thought crosses my mind. Weird, but that's what hard mode is doing to me. I get rock solid morning woods from time to time and that's about it.
     
  19. Guys, I'm in the same boat. Not sure I can abstain from sex with wife though. I know if I don't initiate contact I can most likely definitely go 3or4 weeks before maybe she would initiate. Who knows....maybe more, but I doubt it. I'm definitely going to try no M and no MO. Help with advice!!! I'm 41, fyi, her 42.
     

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