Need some help.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by TurtleBrah, May 3, 2018.

  1. TurtleBrah

    TurtleBrah Fapstronaut

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    Things are getting really difficult.

    When I relapse now I get really fatigued and I feel nauseous the next day.

    I can't keep myself from doing it, I do well for a few days but then I start to feel better again and I have constant urges to relapse. This has been a problem for years, but I'm starting to really feel the effects of it. Before I more or less had control over my situation but now things are getting out of hand.

    Some advice for what to do when flooded with urges would be helpful.
     
    Naim likes this.
  2. I've read that you must hate porn to recover. I haven't done a great job of either, so I don't know for sure, but it sounds right.

    It sounds like you have plenty of reason to hate porn.

    I always get this weird jittery feeling when I relapse, or even come close - but it's not actually anything like nausea. You have my sympathies. Nausea is the worst.
     
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  3. Dov

    Dov Fapstronaut

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    Quitting porn is a process, as part of the process you will relapse here and there, several times before you actually done with it.

    If you relapse it does not mean you cant quit porn, it means you are on the way, you just need to keep making the same decision and get back to Nafapping after a relapse.
     
  4. TurtleBrah

    TurtleBrah Fapstronaut

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    It scares me how strong the urges can be. I'm like a mindless minddroid when it happens. Totally out of whack.
     
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  5. Tagteamplayer

    Tagteamplayer Fapstronaut

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    Hope you get thru it bro, i myself am very weak
     
    Immature likes this.
  6. AsharKiller

    AsharKiller Fapstronaut

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    Bro the urges are the worst for me. I t lasts for weeks or even 2 constantly everyday. The strenght of your urges depict your mental strenght. Go outside. Have a short trip to a place.Visit a friend.
     
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  7. You are here. That shows that you are getting stronger.
     
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  8. TurtleBrah

    TurtleBrah Fapstronaut

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    Do you get throught them alright? They always get me late at night when I'm not suspecting it. I would be a lot more fun if it wasn't for being tired from relapsing.
     
  9. Dov

    Dov Fapstronaut

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    Always be on guard, the PMO imp in your mind will try to catch you unsuspecting.

    Yep, you have auto pilot.
    I had it too, but i managed to completely get over it.
    What you need to do to solve this is to figure out what caused the auto pilot to start, auto pilots are hard to stop mid-process, but the earlier you catch it starting, the easier to stop it.
    there is usually some kind of pattern that 'activates' the auto pilot, its different from person to person so you'll have to figure out yourself.
    then when you feel it starting you just have to become very aware of it, and if urges are involved resist those too, the awareness itself will serve you very well.
    get to know the thoughts and the deeds in the beginning of this process.
    good news- once you learn ho to deal with it, it's practically behind you, you'll also get really good at it in no time.
    if you find yourself auto-piloting to relapse, don't put tons of blame on yourself, instead, try to focus on what brought you there (thoughts? place? timing?), this will benefit you more than just blame.
    its a pleasure for me to share this because this looked like a problem with no solution at the time.
     
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  10. James0224

    James0224 Fapstronaut

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    When you feel urges - actually be mindful of them. How do they actually feel like? When I had urges I would actually get a lot of tension in my chest, and then I would realise my urges did not actually feel good - they felt bad.
     
    Immature likes this.
  11. TurtleBrah

    TurtleBrah Fapstronaut

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    Auto-pilot that's a great way to think of it. Like all reason is abandoned for a few moments of high followed by the inevitable shame. For me its usually late night im bored and feeling good so I do it and then regret it after. Or I start to remember a high and then that overrides any logic. Usually remembering a high late at night will do it.
     
  12. Naim

    Naim New Fapstronaut

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    I am having this trouble too, but with the grace of Almighty i am keeping up-with it. I am trying to cool my urges by negotiating with my autopilot mood and then trying to shift into manual mood, i am still struggling. But Please let us together not lose the hope. Love You
     
    Immature likes this.
  13. Autopilot may not be a helpful idea.

    It may seem to describe what happens, but, for myself, I think I retain the power of choice longer than we might think. (I am 63, so I will admit that my urges aren't as terrible as they were 30 and 40 years ago!)

    it helps me to realize that if I relapse, I will not just fap once, I will probaby binge, doing much damage to my urecovery. This thought has stopped me when I was getting ready to relapse.

    more detail here: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/trying-to-grow-up.138173/page-21#post-1428748

    It is easier to stop, of course, the earlier I am in the process. But I think that I have more choice, longer, than the concept of autopilot gives us credit for.
     
  14. So the instant that thought comes into mind is the time to think of something else and/or do something else. it only gets *more* difficult the longer you entertain that memmory.
     
  15. AsharKiller

    AsharKiller Fapstronaut

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    It is all about mind game. All what you are doing is playing with your mind. We only feel electrifying by observing an attractive girl because we tuned our mind like that from the very begining . We have a tendency to learn and adapt things .Actually when we are encountered by urges what we can only think to relax ourselves is by relapsing because our minds are tuned like that . It is fight more related to thought . Actually people not addicted or attracted towards P relapse because they cannot fight the temporary pleasure or counter the urges .Basically countering an urge means to find some other source of relaxation required by brain and this is what we call reboot or rewiring. Fighting an urge makes it's worse . There are two aspects when fighting the urges.
    1. Fighting is like falling from a tall building fighting with your foe (urges)
    [​IMG]
    , you cannot fly, all you know is that as soon as you will hit the ground you will die.
    2. Holding upto One's courage. You are drowning in an ocean. You are left alone with no help. You don't know how to swim. The more you move your hands and legs to remain on top of the ocean , the more you will drown. The Key is to to be courageous and stop moving your hands and legs and you will start to float.

    Actually i would say that PM is more of a disease rather than addiction. For Eg, A normal man ejaculate stool one or two times a day. But if ejaculates 7 to 8 times a day then it is obviously a disease. Similiarly it is normal to feel lusted by observing your wife and it is literally not normal to feel lusted towards other women as they don't have a relation with you. Sick people out in the world satisfies people by saying that it is natural. And when you ask those people about PMO they would say it is also normal. This is because they have adapted what they were exposed to. Why would a person want to feel attractive to a person standing infront of him whom he doesn't even know ? The answer would be literally because the people have opposite sex. Our minds are corrupted from the very deep . It is not just about PM. It is about our entire sexual thinking. PM is just the deadline or extreme false destination after which nothing exists as the desires torturing us false away. We need to rewire our thinking..
     

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