From Brazil, new to NoFap

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by LAC66, May 8, 2018.

  1. LAC66

    LAC66 Fapstronaut

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    Hi there.

    Since I became sexually active (in my teenager years) I started to masturbate. At first, it was only when I was aroused, since porn wasn't so common back then. Then, suddenly with the Internet and porn pages, I started to masturbate a LOT more. Like 3 to 5 times a day, even hurting myself sometimes.

    The years passed and I got a girlfriend. Things started well, I had a regular sex life, then three years later (but sooner, since we had fights before) we broke up. Since then, I've returned to my addicion, fueled by new media and how easy was to find porn nowdays.

    I didn't know I had a problem since I was always busy with something, preventing me to have another person in my life. But since my graduation, I started working and my urgers surpassed my common sense, so I solicited a prostitute. It was then that I realized that I was different from before.

    At first, I thought I was some kind of superdude, capable of having sex for several minutes, even an hour. Since it was paid sex, she didn't say anything. I was capable of full erections and having sex for some time (because of my body fitness) but unable to reach orgasm in intercourse, only on masturbation.

    I tried again. And again, to the point of spending a lot of money in prostitution. I was scared, didn't know what was going on. Several things passed through my mind, even the possibility that I was homossexual. Since I never had any attraction to men, I solicited some trans to have sex. I couldn't do it. It was wrong to me, so I went to a doctor.

    He said that I should stop masturbating a lot, the problem with the Death Grip. So I did. For a week. Then my urges took the better of me, and I started to masturbate again. Then I got another girlfriend, and she did the best she could to help me. I could please her but she was disappointed that she couldn't give me such pleasures. So I started to please her with my mouth and fingers, in shame of getting erections but not having orgasms. Then, after the oral sex, I would masturbate.

    We've broken up, eventually (not related to my addiction). Buy since then I've became more agressive. Skiped work to masturbate. Even masturbated in work and other environments. I was caught once, watching porn, but was able to keep my job (but it will take time to my boss to trust me again).

    I realized that I had a problem which I couldn't name it. So I researched on the Internet. Until I found NoFap. So I made a commitment to, while I'm single, to do not masturbate, watch porn and have orgasms. Starting today.

    I already deleted several GB of porn from my computer. I hope I can maintain the determination and change my life. Thanks for reading and sorry about the English.
     
  2. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

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    Welcome! I'm glad you're here. Congratulations on the steps you've taken. And your English sounds good.

    I hope you keep coming back.
     
    LAC66 likes this.
  3. kio_actualized

    kio_actualized Fapstronaut

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    Ei rapaz, como você está?
    Continue visitando o forum, certamente será util!!
     
    Freedom Hawk and LAC66 like this.
  4. LookUp

    LookUp Fapstronaut

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    Sounds like your setting yourself on a path away from the insanity!
     
    Freedom Hawk and LAC66 like this.
  5. LAC66

    LAC66 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks. Portuguese is my primary language, so I'm always concerned if other English-speaking people are understanding me.
     
  6. LAC66

    LAC66 Fapstronaut

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    Valeu cara. Estranhamente eu não senti muita necessidade de me masturbar nos últimos dias, apesar de ter ficado tentado a assistir pornô ou substitutos (modelos, biquínis, etc). Vamos ver se sou capaz de manter o ritmo.
     
    Freedom Hawk and kio_actualized like this.
  7. LAC66

    LAC66 Fapstronaut

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    Yes and yes! The moment my addiction was getting into my work I was scared but didn't do anything. I had to get caught, taught a lesson and lose my boss' trust to stop. Here in Brazil jobs aren't easy and becoming unemployed because of porn would kill any attempt to get another job in my area of work.

    Luckly I am a hard worker, very organized, problem-solver and always am ahead of throuble, so my boss overlooked my transgression, simply because he likes me as an employee. But I can't have that conversation again. Not only because I probably am going to loose my job but because the shame was so overwhelming.
     
  8. LookUp

    LookUp Fapstronaut

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    Onward to a whole new life of self respect. Shame will be a thing of the past. Your English is great!
     
    Freedom Hawk likes this.

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