Is my life pointless ?

Have faith in yourself.
Good days are about to come. No matter where you are. Even if are sreving life imprisonment in jail. They will come trust me.
You must read "The confidence gap" by russ haris.
I am suffering from depression too.
But after i read this book, i see things vividly.
Somehow it changed me.
Value your self.

 

I mean, _onamission_ said it in a slightly blunt way but I do agree with him.

The thing is, everyone cares about one thing and one thing only... We only care about ourselves... you think anyone on NoFap actually cares all that much? We don't know each other, I don't know your name, your age, what you look like, your life experiences, what you're going through, I don't know anything... so how am I or anyone else supposed to help you? I am here writing supportive messages because it makes me feel better and helps me reflect on my own circumstances better AND I like knowing there are others going through similar experiences.
I used to be like you, I used to think in the way you described yourself. The difference between us now is that I have accepted that LIFE IS SHIT and NO ONE CARES... it is the truth.
BUT that doesn't mean kill yourself or even think about it - not for one second.

The only person that can help you is you.

There are so many people talking like this, saying people are mean, my life is bad, etc. but the reality is that girls don't respect us. Why should they? You know how horrible it is to them with what all of us on this website have been doing? They don't respect us and they make jokes about us because we watch porn too much, we have no respect for ourselves and we have no respect for women - if we did then we wouldn't be addicts to PMO in the first place and we wouldn't be on this website.

So now is the nice part --

Love yourself, find what you like to do.
Like yourself, I bet you're a nice guy.
Do what you want to do and respect yourself for it.

If you like, love and respect yourself then everyone else will too.

Oh, but PMO has got to go because it stops all that and is probably the route cause of all your problems.. I mean, i don't know you as I said but I feel like you get what I mean with all of this.

In life, just remember this: how can anyone like, love or respect someone else if that person can't even do it to themself? Again, not a reason for suicide but it's the reason I give myself to live. Self improvement, self love and respect, self happiness and it all results in everything you want.
Life is fun. Not easy, but fun.

 

note - no porn is okay. All porn shouldn't be watched by anyone.

If you look at most people, they don't know what they like either - people only find what they live for by accident. The same thing goes for relationships, friendships and enemies... a lot of the time no one can really tell why they like a person but by some accident, they started hanging out with them, linking them, getting to know them and then they realise why they like them.
Problem is, are you putting yourself in situations where you can make friends and can find what you love to do?

about seeming happy - people who smile the most are usually the ones hiding the most. Maybe your struggle is to do with not wanting anyone to see your true emotion and that's making you unhappy? If you are not happy and people think you are, then fix that. Tell some friends what you're going through(or a family member) and try to connect with your feelings when you're around others. You'll enjoy everyones company a lot more and you will get a lot more out of them when you open up a little.

Might I say how impressed I am at your score... NoFap is huge and beating PMO for a year is amazing... for me, that's right away something i'd be proud of and if i were on my death bed at 345 days, i'd be happy with that good going dude

 

To do human things. Whatever humans can do. Seriously, I think nature just works this way, species just do what they are built to do.

Whatever you want to be. Whatever you would like to become.

Sometimes life sucks. I'm having some bad times too right now, but I've had those before, so I don't feel like it's something really terrible. I wake up and say to myself, "Life is shit, oh well, let's do something anyway," and I do something. Sometimes I sleep the whole day because I can't do anything. Days pass, and it gets better. Sometimes it gets worse though, lol. But I'm thinking to myself, "Fuck it, I'll continue anyway, maybe I'll be happy someday."

 

Hi @Syx19 , I'm sorry you're feeling so low right now. I feel for you as I have battled depression for a long time and know how hopeless it can feel. I wanted to share what has helped me:

1. Be kind to yourself. You are a good person and a worthy human being. Being addicted to P doesn't make you bad, it's an addiction like any other.
2. It's actually v positive you have female friends, shows you're a good person who both men and women like to be around. Sure they won't all fancy you but eventually you'll meet someone and it will click and even better, it will have started from a place of friendship so will be more likely to last. I have a feeling I'm a lot older than you and I can tell you that those nice guys in my friendship group at school all now have very attractive, educated partners who share the same values and goals as them. As you get older, women really value men with morals, integrity, substance, skills, honesty and a kind heart and soul.
3. Try volunteering if you haven't already. I came out of one bad depressive episode working in a school which stunned me into realising how much I could help others. Another time I mentored someone less fortunate than myself through a charity and watched their progress which was v rewarding. Other good things can be helping clear up rubbish with a conservation charity to create say a new wildlife habitat, shelter dog walking, coaching at a youth football club - whatever skills you have, share them to help others or try something new you've always been interested in. You'll be surprised how much people will appreciate that.
4. Reach out to friends and new people, offer help, don't isolate too much.
5. Journal, get it all out.
6. Try meditation, you could try asking yourself a question at the beginning of each meditation and see if you have an answer to it by the end.
7. Seek out counselling or therapy if you can. If money is an issue many charities offer this, I have accessed this kind of support and it has helped me a lot.
8. Try a goal setting exercise from books or youtube. I like Brian Tracy's goal setting videos and also highly recommend The Artist's Way book especially if you have any creative interests such as writing, poetry, painting but also it applies to people who think they are not creative at all.

It took me 8 years after graduating to find a career I liked, and even now in my 30s I'm only just getting started. Practice self compassion, don't be so hard on yourself. Sounds like you are gaining self awareness already, keep going.

 

I mean, you don't need to talk to guys about your emotions... if you have 4 best friends, speak to them. Girls are amazing to talk to about emotions, they listen and they try to make you feel better by giving you a hug and saying some nice things... That's great but that doesn't make me feel better... sure, when you talk to a guy, it's not all emotions and stuff but it means so much more when they try to help you because they do more than just talk and hug, they will probably take you out to do something to make you feel better. Sure, guys won't give the emotion stuff like girls but speaking your problems to a guy probably will help you more and cement your relationship with the guy better.

As for making new relationships, it sounds like you're thinking on the right lines but maybe take up a hobby too - if you don't already have one - because this means a lot more time being spent on something in your local area where there is likely to be like-minded people. Try rock climbing maybe, it's great fun, everyone's fun and nice and you can spend a day with some stranger taking turns over a section of wall that's very challenging. -- just an example, I don't know what you're into.

 

Amazing post, thanks for sharing, i copied this text to my notes.

 

Not only you but I think most of the people are suffering from mental depression. What's the best solution to recover this?

 

I don't think talking about emotions makes you weak. I see that as just a stereotype or social conditioning for males. But having been in recovery a while I don't see this to be the case. Men who don't talk about their feelings still have feelings. When social conditioning pressures them to stuff their feelings they become alcoholics or do something crazy and violent like harm wild animals for no good reason.

There are male and female friends in my life that I talk about emotions with. I think talking about emotions is a sign of strength

 

It reminds me of something I heard from Eckhart Tolle on Life Purpose. His view of life purpose isn't this driven, high achiever thing. It has more to do with being in the now. Whatever you're doing right now, that's your life purpose. Just to be there and do it. So then reading this message would be your life purpose for now.

In a bigger sense you could see your life purpose as to recover from PMO addiction and help others recover. Maybe your life purpose could also extend to suffering from depression or other adversity and the purpose of that is so you understand it better. That might prepare you to help someone else through it one day in a way only you can.

Life purpose can be a lot simpler than "cimb Everest" or "discover a new planet". Your life purpose can just be to do recovery and stay sober each day. That's all. Anything else that arises is just a bonus.

That's like a way of simplifying it I guess. Just to have peace of mind each day. I guess it is my approach to life right now just keeping it alot simpler.

 

My life has PURPOSE.

Once I said it out loud, everything fell into place. It all starts with the words you say.

 

I have a question to ask you.... Do you see someone else's life that doesn't seem pointless? Maybe there's another person (or more than one) that you admire?

If so, that could help point you in the direction you can take your life.

I'll use myself for example. I think actors are freakin cool!! I think Will Smith, Matthew McConaughey, and even female actresses like Gal Gadot are pretty cool. I think being an actor would make for a fascinating life!! Taking on new roles, working with new actors/directors/producers, pushing your limits, getting recognized for your work, and getting paid for it is all very appealing to me. I also (to a lesser extent I suppose) find entrepreneurs kinda cool. I like that they own a company and can have say in what goes on in it.

These are lives that I deem worthy of a life. Therefore, I'm attracted to acting (only took one acting class so far) and entrepreneurship. I'd love to give my life to film, giving back to others (I'd like to use my success to help others achieve their success too.... eventually), being a parent (being an actor and entrepreneur would set myself up as a great role model for my children... at least I pray it does) , and entrepreneurship.

Maybe you can find someone that you think is awesome too and use that somewhat as a guide towards what direction to go in??

Hope the advice helps!

 

Life's purpose is what you attach to it, only you can decide.

 

Syx19, I think we all have those feelings time to time. If we did not, we would not be human. At 43 years old, I have had my ups and downs in life and will still have them for years to come, like the rest of us. I have been loved by wonderful women in the past and many that were toxic as well. I also had attractive women where I had a chance of a romantic relationship but ended up in the friend zone as well. All of this was probably the main reason why my PMO problem got worst for the last 15 months....

But enough of my problems, let's get back to you. You have worth, potential and the capacity of accomplishing great things. But you also suffer of low self esteem , anxiety, depression and other insecurities as well. And that is okay, acknowledge it. We all go through that. The important thing is never let your self worth be determined by what others think of you, especially by women. Women can be a great motivation for us to better ourselves, but they should never be the main reason. Become a better person for your own good, for your own happiness. There are lot of personal self growth books that can make you feel better, but be careful some are pop psychology fluff that are of little use. Read books on meditation as well.

Practice a hobby that gives you joy and improves your skills as well. Go to the gym three times of week. You will feel better. Always have daily goals, weekly goals, monthly goals and for years to come. Our lives and goals is an ongoing process. As time goes by, you will feel better and be in a better place, and women will be attracted to that, which is a bonus, not the main reason why you should do all of these things above.Hope this helps and best of luck to you. Keep us posted.

 

The day I stopped constantly caring about planning my entire life, was the day I became truly happy. You don't have to plan everything. You don't have to have the same profession your entire life. Do what makes you feel great and find a way to make it your job. We are so privileged in the Western society, that we can do literally whatever the fuck we want without much effort. So do what makes you happy, then google how you can make a living from it. Then take it day by day and enjoy the moment. Living in the past or in the future is not living at all.