Can't abstain more than 2 days

I’ve been using PMO every day constantly for over 20 years. I haven’t allowed myself to feel any uncomfortable feelings that whole time; drowning them out with more porn.

I have 50 days sober today, so if someone as sick as me can do it then you can too!

It’s not easy but it’s possible. We’re all routing for you!

One thing to note, will power doesn’t seem to work for us. Just wanting and wishing with all our might doesn’t work well. We need to do some extra daily maintenance in order to get some relief.

My daily maintenance, (which seems to work for others who I stole it from ), consists of daily Prayer, meditation, journaling, rigorous honesty, exercise, changed my eating habits and sleep schedule.

I struggle with the prayer because I’m not religious, but every MorningI thank the universe for another beautiful day and take a look out the window.

Hope this can help you on your journey! Oh and the daily maintenance takes me only about 45 minutes each day, so not horrible time loss.

 

I would recommend getting a blocker on your computer....it's helped me to stay sober. It's like having a lock on the liquor cabinet. It's good to know porn isn't just a click away!

 

I started today and have set a timer app so I can see my progress, I also stopped drinking caffeine 6 weeks ago so I think I will be able to draw parrallels between the addictions and how they present. So far my biggest reflection from caffeine has to be the days when I’m low I become aware of how much my mind justifies how well I’ve done and how I deserve at this point a reward of the the very thing I am abstaining from, I also begin to bargain with myself normalising how it would be ok to have a relapse. In those times I remind myself that this is “the test” when I feel in control and I legitimise failure or relapse I am now in the hard yards and this is where I have to become my own dark knight, my own hero and the master of my choices. Good luck dudes

 

Dude, Great way of explaining the ways we trick ourselves into relapse!! Reward ourselves from abstaining...with the exact thing that ruined our lives!! Lol addicted brains are funny (and by funny I mean evil and painful!)

This is our danger. And this is why I have to do the daily maintenance to prepare for these moments. The huge moments of chaos are hard, but also the causal mind games are also just as hard

 

Excellent Discussion. I like this. Makes sense.

 

Sorry to here that. Hang in there you can do it!

Did you praying, meditating and journaling daily? These are what really help me stay sober. Also reaching out on here for help before deciding to relapse and writing about my feelings of why I want to act out sexually.

Good luck and really good that your staying active on here!

 

I second the advice that you need to find surrogate activities to replace the time and energy you used for PMO. Meditation is good, but it is not for everyone. Do you have any ideas what you could do? It's all about replacng bad habits with good habits.

Moreover, of course you should avoid relapses at all cost, but as you apparently can't assume that you will go PMO-free for 10 years from scratch: Try to learn from your relapses. Reflect on how you felt, what you did that day and the day before, and so on, and may be you can find out what triggers you. Personally, I've often reached an inner point of no return. You could argue that you always have control over your body and can always decide to not touch yourself, but I often had the feeling some sort of auto pilot started taking over hours or days before. If you know that auto pilot, watch yourself carefully to figure out when he is saying hallo. If he does, do not trust him, but the best thing would be to avoid meeting him right away, as in do not cross this point of no return.

Wish you a lot of success!