33 Days! It's possible and now probable to stay free!

Hi all.
I've been free from PMO for 33 days now! I was exposed to porn at age 5 and have had such a broken sexual experience my whole life. I have been impulsive and out of control. It has caused agony, guilt, shame, and regret. 33 days ago I finally made a choice to remove any mysterious element and excuse from the table and simply refuse to give in. I decided to truly look at how empty, painful, and powerful the addiction was. I thought I had a real assessment of this in the past but still was allowing a certain level of thrill and excitement remain in my heart about the very short lived pleasure that is experienced when you give in. I realized I hadn't really accepted just how much giving in to PMO leads to NOTHING good. The pleasure sought to alleviate stress or whatever only deepens the hook and leaves one empty and more dependent than before. Anyway... Feels great to have a sense of confidence that I can be free. It feels great to see sex as a pleasurable expression that deepens connection and passion for my wife rather than a selfish event centered on entertainment and/or emotional alleviation.
Anxiety has lessened but my moods have been a bit turbulent. My head feels more clear. Guilt and shame has lessened quite a bit. Life is overall much better but have a long way to go. I have accepted that PMO and other impulsive sexual activity simply is not an option and ONLY is destructive for me. This sight has been great!
Blessings to you all.

 

Thanks everyone! It’s an up and down battle but progress is being made. Sometimes the lure of a “quick fix” is so real....
the floating thought of a naked body or whatever ... combatting it with the inevitable outcome isn’t always as exciting as the lure but I’m learning that truth has to trump the lure. Hope that makes sense. Cheers to all! Let’s go forward in victory!!