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So you think that cam girl really loves you?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by rob1983, Apr 12, 2018.

  1. I'm really sorry to hear that. good luck, now that you are here I hope you can get out from under that.
     
  2. rob1983

    rob1983 Fapstronaut

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    Good for you, man. Keep strong. Self-confidence and pride come back the longer we stay away and re-discover the "real world". Every day away from it just makes me wonder how i fell for it all. Sometimes i go back and look in on her show and i feel sorry for her now. It is a young woman's game and i wonder how far she could have gone in a real job with her intelligence and where the money might be less in the short run, but where she could be getting a salary that just increases with her age and advancement in the company, where that salary was not determined by how many vibrators she used or how deep she put something inside her various orifices or lure men to drop tokens. Or where she would not have to hide her identity or worry about the thousands of photos online if she ever decided to have a family. Seems like such a waste of talent and brains to go this route, preying on men's weaknesses for the quick money while having to lie about everything you do when talking to the real world. The question "what do you do for a living" at parties must suck. But i guess the money is good. The word "grifter' comes to mind and i feel sad for her. Keep strong.
     
  3. I would encourage you to try to not do that... Don't think anything positive can come from doing such a thing.
     
  4. I still think about 'my favorites' on that site sometimes without any impulse or desire checking up on them, for if I did, I'd constitute that as a 'porn relapse' and I would have to reset my day-counter back to zero. But now I realize that I was just as bored as thrilled sitting in front of the TV while chatting. Their welcoming beauty and personalities were nullified by having to read chatter's dirty comments and the constant prodding, especially from the mods for more tips, more tips! It was the great and pleasurable TIME DRAIN. I'd come on to say hello with a few friendly comments and gifs with an occasional tip, thinking I'd be pulling away for more important things to do but NO! I'd sit there entranced for at least an hour anyway. I can't express enough about all that extra time I have now for everything else! That whole camgirl thing was a real trip! Pure fantasy land! Pure bullshit! Giving money to a complete stranger like that? Wow! That's the power of delusion!
     
    Hardwork11, Gringo87, rob1983 and 3 others like this.
  5. rob1983

    rob1983 Fapstronaut

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    I agree. I have stopped. I have withdrawn from the whole system and tried to immerse myself in my work. This all comes from something much deeper than wanting to watch naked women perform. That was just the hook. I am dealing with that now. A lot of exercise, treadmill, weights, losing weight, etc. I appreciate your concern and I think you are right.
     
  6. rob1983

    rob1983 Fapstronaut

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    We probably had the same host, lol. But you are right; time vanished when I was there and I sometimes started and left and woke up early and found her still on and like a dope joined right back in and dropped more tokens in her lap. At least if i give my money to a charity, someone less well-off gets something positive from it. What a fool i have been. Enough already. Let's move forward. You are doing the right thing. I am following you in this. No more.
     
    Jim2015 and Deleted Account like this.
  7. I was on the site starting with the letter C with three syllables. The past is past. I'm not going back and you're not going back. I was a mere username on a chat board trying to buddy up with other usernames, meanwhile chatting with someone whose real name and location were unknown, tipping a complete stranger so she can receive pleasure when all she had to do was to turn that damn thing on whenever she wanted to without our help! LOL! The world of shadows! (Not going back...finished...the end)
     
    Jim2015 likes this.
  8. rob1983

    rob1983 Fapstronaut

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    We see things the same way, I was on the same site. It was seductive. I have started writing short stories-taking a writing course-walking 3 miles a day-moving forward-Good luck to you.
     
    Jim2015 likes this.
  9. i always had a feeling she didn't love me and just wanted my money, damn, reality is so cruel
     
  10. But I still think about the honeys! I'll never go back on that site again but since I spent so much time with my 'favorites', I still have a strong fond sentiment toward them. Is this psychological relapse? Time will tell if all of this subsides. Nothing to do now except to keep the course. I think it was too much exposure from locking them in into my life that it created 'deep grooves in the brain'. They were gorgeous. I knew their personalities well. One was so unpretentious and sincere, a rarity of all rarities on a camgirl site! But my time, energy and money were compromised. I can only blame myself for that. Time to move on...
     
    Jim2015 likes this.
  11. Victor Auditore

    Victor Auditore Fapstronaut

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    I am a regular visitor in chaturbate and I used to have the incentive to buy tokens and tip them for private show. Then I realized that it's unwise because even though they do take time to do things for you, the premise is that you have to pay first. If you didn't pay beforehand you're nothing.

    It's the cruel reality man. It's all about demand and supply, and reciprocity is a vital component of it. The cam girls are smart enough to play with the rules. They just do it for money, nothing else. No matter how many times they blow a kiss to you or how many heart emojis she sent you, it's just a part of the business.
     
  12. rob1983

    rob1983 Fapstronaut

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    I repeat: GET OUT NOW.You bring up the most insidious part of the chat room problem. It is not hard core porn movies. Chat rooms are presented as fun, happy places to interact with a host and watch her perform sex acts on herself or a friend/lover/GF/BF, etc for tips. As long as you can accept that you are just part of the audience and can leave at any time and have no emotional attachment to the host, you are OK, I guess. But a lot of us went looking for more, a relationship we were lacking in our lives, attention, flattery, kindness, the dream of meeting the young, pretty girl we watched and know every inch of, who so easily shed her clothes and laughed with us as she danced, vibed, role-played, etc. They let you become a part of their room, become buddies with other anonymous men and encourage you to become friendly and exchange emails and personal, intimate things. They flatter you and tell you secrets and get you thinking about them all day long, waiting for their next show of, better yet, their next email to you showing they thought of you. I am not saying they are not sincere, but stop and think about it for a moment. If they really wanted to be your friend, if they really loved you as they might be saying, they would drop all pretense and initiate contact using their real names and trust you to be their best friend or maybe lover or maybe confidant. They might even be honest and tell you they would love to meet you and let you be their friend in the real world. They would invite you into their lives, not their chat room persona. It hurts like all hell to think it is just a part of the hook to keep you there and keep the tokens rolling in, knowing the deeper they hook you the more you will spend. And it is a nasty thing to do to guys just looking for attention and some sort of relationship, no matter that we go their voluntarily. And maybe some of them don't even understand what they are doing to some guys who are just looking for attention and really believe the girl is sincere... I urge you to search out the info i originally posted, to search those terms and discover the "master plan" to cam girl success. The plan is real and mercenary towards us "johns" and "webcam whales". As much as i felt i "loved" one of them and no matter how many times they might tell me I was different and they were being honest with me, i could not believe it after reading what i read, in their own words. Put it to the test: tell them you will be happy to exchange emails and talk about your lives together, but without sending gifts and tokens and only if they use their real names, since they probably already know yours. Like you do with real friends who do not require you to spend money of them to have a beer, talk n the phone, share Facebook stuff, take in a movie, whatever. If you feel you are failing and need some more support, message me and I will be happy to help.
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2018
    fallentoit and Gringo87 like this.
  13. rob1983

    rob1983 Fapstronaut

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    So right. And some of us are weak, needy bastards who fall for it. We come primed for the kill, with loneliness or bad marriages or trouble with girls (the straight guys i mean-I do not pretend to talk for others). Having a smart, pretty woman give us attention is like nectar to a honey bee. Just makes our day. Just need to keep it in perspective and I admit i did not. Glad you can. Good luck.
     
    Victor Auditore likes this.
  14. Victor Auditore

    Victor Auditore Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the reply bro. I'm actually still needy but it's just unwise to tip a girl you probably won't have a chance to meet in your lifetime repeatedly.

    It's hard to meet a smart and pretty girl in HK and if I am able to meet one, that would be a grace.
     
    rob1983 likes this.
  15. rob1983

    rob1983 Fapstronaut

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    The best women i ever met , I met when I least expected it. They came into my life when I was not looking for a woman. The relationship was not begun on hormones. The worst relationships I had were those fueled by desire and sexual need and that has more than once clouded my head, once to very bad result. It was no different with chat rooms. Just my two cents. Work on yourself and others who respect you for that, will be attracted to you. Hang in there.
     
  16. I never paid for a 'private'. That premise was weird to me. The only 'private' to me is actually being in somebody's arms. Anyway, I closed the account and I am painfully aware now that all that is a form of prostitution whereas all the clients are usernames on a chat board.
     
    Jim2015 and rob1983 like this.
  17. snowwolf0111

    snowwolf0111 Fapstronaut

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    nope , the webcam does not love you. have tried it so many times, at the beginning it all seemed excellent since she does whatever you say and ask her to do ( within reasons.. lol ).. but you soon start to realise that she does all for the money ! They earn LOADS with camming and so a little dancing and acting in front of the camera is easy money for these women/men. so no, they do NOT love you at all.
     
  18. 333

    333 Fapstronaut

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    There is one rule you can absolutely take to the bank and bet your house on: Any woman whose time you're paying for, not only doesnt have romantic feelings for you, but never will.

    The act of directly paying money to a woman for access to her time/body fatally undercuts every fundamental of attraction. You are forever disqualified. But they'll be perfectly happy to lead you on and string you along anyway. I mean... That's literally their job:)

    And don't believe that you're their "friends" either. Ask yourself how many friends you've had in life that you never hung out with and couldn't talk to unless you paid them by the hour/minute. I don't advise anybody to use sex workers. It's very degrading on a deep, subconscious level. But if you absolutely must... then at least see it for what it is.
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2018
    Gringo87, Hitto and Deleted Account like this.
  19. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

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    It's a terrible temptation for a young lady to make easy money quickly, do it for a few years, save up some money study etc. But it is just as addictive for them, competing with the other 'models' etc. Public shows aren't enough, they have to do privates, snapchats, personal emails .... even personal meet ups & goodness knows what. Imagine how difficult it is for them to return to 'normal' relationships after this? Or a normal job? Knowing that evidence of your past is all over the internet waiting for someone to stumble across it and ruin your life.
    For all the money it cost us and the psychological damage it has caused, I actually think it is worse for them. Walk away from it and never return, but be grateful that you can walk away.
     
  20. Even the camgirls who were kind, sweet and unpretentious (believe it or not!), I wonder what really went on through their mind, being amused by all the 'shadow friend usernames' on the chat board (such as myself)! Such tragic fantasy land! I can't blame anybody but myself now. I simply pick up the pieces and move on. And I might actually agree with you that it's much worse for them karmically, being a tool of the sex scam industry...
     
    Jim2015 and snowwolf0111 like this.

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