Lost in life

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by hope breath meditate, May 15, 2018.

  1. hope breath meditate

    hope breath meditate Fapstronaut

    13
    12
    3
    Hi I am new here. I have been addicted to pmo for past 12 years. In last 2years despite knowing the I'll effects I couldn't stop from pmo. I have realised that this is very hard to do alone and hence I have joined nofap. Normal porn doesn't get me that high now and I have started watching really dark stuff which I regret after everytime. Currently I am doing very little progress. For past 16 days I haven't orgasmed but have watched porn couple of days for 15 to 20 mins. It's like I can't stop watching porn.i am 27 years jobless and single. I am completely feeling lost in life. I was almost gonna relapse now watched few videos and hence came here to post.
     
    Ecco and Air0 like this.
  2. soulrebel

    soulrebel Fapstronaut

    190
    207
    43
    Hey how's it going. All I can say is that right now you are on the right path and if you stay on this path you will succeed. From here on out look to the future cause your past is all behind you. For me personally alot of the reason why I relapse is because I dwell on past relapses and past negative things. So keep a clean mindset. Go on walks everyday in parks and nature instead of sitting doing nothing which I have started doing and you will be Golden bro. Goodluck :)
     
    Ecco, Air0, jest and 1 other person like this.
  3. hope breath meditate

    hope breath meditate Fapstronaut

    13
    12
    3
    T
    Thank you very much for the support. I have started doing exercise now. I am finding it very useful. Whenever I feel like relapsing I start to excercise and spend all my energy in that. Only problem is after abstaining from MO I am feeling more horny which sometimes become problematic.
     
    Ecco likes this.
  4. IncenseCedar

    IncenseCedar Fapstronaut

    201
    237
    43
    Hey HBM: You're in the right place. I found NoFap about a month and a half ago. I visit daily, post regularly, and with the help of a guy I met here have made it through 21 days and headed healthy to 28, 35, 42, and beyond with no PMO. I never went to the darkside of porn, but I was regular like a clock... once a week at least. I justified the acting out as no problem because I didn't do it daily. But when I tried to stop, I couldn't.

    A couple of things as you begin this path. First, get in touch with yourself, accept yourself, and love yourself. I see "meditate" in your handle. Try working a loving kindness meditation once a day for 20 minutes at least, for as long as you need to, but not less than 30 days. If you relapse, use the meditation to be kind to yourself.

    The second thing is make an inventory of the things you like to do other than porn. You like to read, game, walk, listen to music, cook, work on cars??? And when you are doing that thing, look at your state of mind. Our mind feels different when it's not on porn, so different you should be able to sense it. Try it right now. Stop and look inside and "feel" what's going on. Then groove on the feeling, smile, give yourself a mental hug, then let it go gently. Recognizing the "normal" frame of mind will help you know when you are triggered and how to get back.

    Good luck, man. If you're looking for an accountable person, look into the r|tribe phone app. It's an anonymous recovery tool. You can find friends and text them for help. I'm on there and go by the same nickname as I am here.

    Peace
     
    Ecco and jest like this.
  5. Bobbyf76

    Bobbyf76 Fapstronaut

    39
    44
    18
    you are definitely making a good start by coming here. i know its hard, but if you give in a little bit, your addiction will try and take as much as it can. for myself, my negative thoughts are a trigger for me. i get lost in hopelessness, and feeling worthless and that there is no point in trying to better myself. i have been an addict for around 14 years or so, but as of today, i am 44 days clean. my addiction never took me to the dark areas of porn, but i have been married for 10 years and i know what its like to regret watching because i knew i was hurting my wife when i did watch and i hated myself for it. you have to be strong. you can do it. after 44 days, it gets easier to see your urges coming, and to figure out what are your real thoughts, and what is your inner addict trying to trick you. i would recommend downloading the nofap app. it is an emergency button that you can just press if you need to. it is a nice way of motivating yourself to stay strong and believe that you are worth having a better and happier life. im 28, and im married with two kids, and i can honestly say that since quitting porn i have never been happier. if you stay strong, it will be worth it in the end, i promise. you will see it more and more each day you are porn free. if you ever need to talk or anything you can message me, or i can give you my phone number or something if you want. it is so much easier to not feel alone while doing this, and by joining this site i can promise you, you are not alone. we are all together on this.
     
    Ecco, Air0 and jest like this.
  6. hope breath meditate

    hope breath meditate Fapstronaut

    13
    12
    3
    Thanks. I had never thought I will have that motivation to go through no pmo, but reading all your stories and supporting comments somehow gave me that little extra motivation. Porn fucks your brain so much that even for a minute you don't have control over your brain, I realised how fucked up my brain was when started meditation. Even now I am unable to meditation for more that 2minutes. Mind wanders anywhere, but I have improved a lot and I am thinking very less abt pmo
     
    Ecco likes this.
  7. IncenseCedar

    IncenseCedar Fapstronaut

    201
    237
    43
    HBM: Yup, the mind wanders off the breath or whatever you're using as a meditation focus. I've been meditating for 20 years and the mind wanders. No way to stop it. But what we can do and MUST do is not judge or criticize ourselves for the wandering. Just notice the subject of the wandering, and bring your attention back to the breath. Notice if you beat yourself up for wandering, and let that go. Over, and over, and over, and over a thousand times. Eventually, you will have long periods of focus and in that focus calm and peace like you've never experienced before!

    Good luck and keep at it!
     
    Ecco and hope breath meditate like this.
  8. Air0

    Air0 Fapstronaut

    208
    227
    43
    Yeah me too. I know exactly that feeling. It happens like during night when u cant sleep and u run worst case scenarios and it makes you feel horrible:confused:. Do you guys think that it's just part of the rebooting process? Something about our brains getting rewired and not knowing what to think? Hope things are going well for u guys
     
    Ecco likes this.
  9. Bobbyf76

    Bobbyf76 Fapstronaut

    39
    44
    18
    i do think that is a big part of it. i look at my addiction as if its a totally different person inside of me, and with us quitting our addiction, its like we're killing him, and hes doing whatever he can do to stay alive, so he'll try and trick us, or make us feel guilty, or anything else he can do to stay around.
     
    Ecco likes this.
  10. Air0

    Air0 Fapstronaut

    208
    227
    43
    Wow I never really thought something as small as a negative thought could be a trigger. But once we recognize the feeling, how do we shut it down? I feel like its a lot easier said than done to just think about something else.
     
    Ecco likes this.
  11. Ecco

    Ecco Fapstronaut

    26
    75
    13
    Getting a job asap would help. Even if it isn't a dream job lol, it will help tremendously.
     
    hope breath meditate likes this.
  12. Ecco

    Ecco Fapstronaut

    26
    75
    13
    It's important to stay positive in life. Negative thoughts just send one down the wrong path and one really is too many to entertain.

    Surely it can be a battle day in and day out finding a method to keep a positive attitude even during tough times but we must. Negativity just destroys performance all around even in small amounts.
     
  13. Ecco

    Ecco Fapstronaut

    26
    75
    13
  14. Hey man, sorry to read about these things.. just a quick reply.. remember YOU have the power to decide what YOU do, and by diagnosing the problems, you are one step closer to solving it. Things can be pretty messed up, but i try to let it motivate me to only get stronger, so I can do the right and good things in life, try to write stuff down, make goals and a to do list, and try to improve step by step.. all the best man!!
     
  15. Air0

    Air0 Fapstronaut

    208
    227
    43
    Yeah! Sometimes I find it difficult to control what I think right then. Kinda what Ecco said, it's a snowball effect. But I know I can control what I can take away from it. The recent few days for me have been rough, but I know I'm stronger now bc my old me would have relapsed. My goal is to stay thankful.
     
  16. hope breath meditate

    hope breath meditate Fapstronaut

    13
    12
    3
    Since joining nofap I haven't watched porn. I think reading everything and knowing that you are not alone helps a lot. Plus I found my main problem for relapsing was boredom. So I am giving interviews and am trying to get a job. Than you everyone for your replies.
     

Share This Page