Advice needed - 26M, 4 months no porn - no benefits

Deleted Account · May 16, 2018

Thank you too! We're all in this together, and the information we share on here is absolutely vital to recovery, that is, if it's the right information. There's a lot of disinformation out there about the effects of pornography on one's body, one's life. Some psychologists and doctors will often tell exactly what an addict - who's perhaps not yet ready to give up porn - wants to hear. They say that masturbation has a way of relieving stress, that it's effective against prostate cancer and what not, when in reality pmo only serves one purpose: the demise of men. This disinformation, I'm sure, is leading many astray.

Unfortunately, as with any other addiction, experiencing withdrawal is what's necessary to fully comprehend porn's influence and effects. I wouldn't wish this emotional and physical hell upon anyone, so prevention really is vital to ensure that kids stay away from this toxin.

As with all things, money makes the world go round. I can absolutely not understand that you have to be 16 to drink a beer, but that at the same time you're old enough to get your very first high, a free hit, in the comfort of your own bedroom.

striverpz · May 20, 2018

bken said: ↑

Hi jaigos,

I've been in withdrawal for a couple of years now. I'm one of the guys who thought relapsing at certain times wouldn't hurt the recovery process. I was wrong. I'm now in real recovery for a little over 6 months. Before that I used to relapse every couple of months or so, thinking it wouldn't hurt, but which obviously did hurt.
Ever since realizing hard mode is the only way out I've experienced very subtle changes in my perception, anxiety, confidence and overall well-being. I'm not going to lie to you, giving up on porn is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I hit rock bottom. I've suffered panic attack after panic attack. I'm not out of the woods yet, far from it, but I sincerely believe all of these symptoms have everything to do with letting go of pornography. Porn used to be my crutch in life. Like you, I was hooked for over a decade. The thing about porn addiction is that you don't really realize that it's an addiction until you need to function without it. That's when you meet porn's true side. The evil, hellish side of it (those particular websites don't have evil this and evil that in their titles for nothing, btw).
You see, it's all good before you want to leave all of it behind and hit withdrawal. Personally, the best way I could describe this hell is that it's as if the devil himself will either stop you or punish you good for trying to give up on porn. Spiritually speaking, there's probably a core of truth to that. This may sound incredible, exaggerated or whatever, but it's true. Withdrawal from porn can and will happen if your addiction was particularly bad. Having to live without porn after a decade of full blown addiction, isn't any different from hard drug withdrawal. The effects drugs and porn have on the brain, are very similar. But no one teaches you that when you first encounter porn online. There's no warnings, nothing. At that point you're just a 13-year-old ready to have some fun. A lamb to the slaughter. To make matters worse, friends etc. will often encourage this vice. Even doctors or teachers will often say that "masturbation is good for you." Utter rubbish.
Personally, it wasn't until recently that I started realizing that I really had a problem with porn. About a decade after first seeing that toxic filth. For me it was all or nothing. Symptoms like anxiety or depression can be so severe that there isn't any other option than to abstain from it all together. Withdrawal from porn is very real. Before finding out that other guys are going through the same thing, thanks to communities like these, I never would have guessed that withdrawal from porn could happen. But sure enough, we are not the only people suffering. Definitely don't buy into it if anyone tells you your depression and porn addiction have nothing to do with each other, because one is the feeding ground for the other. You'll break out of the vicious circle eventually, I'm sure. This is not about me, but about you. All I can say is that abstaining from porn will initially be really hard, perhaps even hellish if your addiction was serious, but that change and benefits are real and possible and that I sincerely believe there's another side to this, the light at the end of the tunnel, a better life, the one we are supposed to be living. I'm in the same boat bro. Once happiness has been taken away from you, you know there's no other way out. And it's a long road. Probably the hardest thing you'll go through, but totally worth it.

Happiness and your own health and well-being are the most important things in life. No amount of porn or sex is worth that. Because your personality defines who you are. And yes, others pick up on this. I sincerely believe people can sense when someone has an addiction. We all have an aura and energetically, you either attract people or you push them away.

I'd understand should you think having to abstain for months isn't worth it. Believe me, I've been there. But when you really think about it, you'll come to realize this is all or nothing. Especially if you're already in withdrawal and your symptoms are severe. There's just no way back then. There's not much else I can do than to warn people I guess, because I know there's a lot of people suffering, often unaware of the cause. Of course there's always a chance that depression has other causes, but depression caused by porn withdrawal is particularly bad. In that case it really is persistent, and a really hard lesson. In the end, you'll only be stronger.

Good luck, stay strong.
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This is really some sage advice, I found this really helpful and insightful too. I can identify with it deeply. Thank you for sharing.

HE^MAN · May 20, 2018

jaigos said: ↑

Hi guys,

I discovered nofap at the start of 2018 after maybe 10 years of heavy porn use and have been virtually porn free since end of Jan (4 months or so). Previously I was PMOing everyday and could never get it up with a real girl (ED, nerves etc). I have not been able to stop MO and my longest streak there is 3 weeks or so. The issue is that i am certain I have been depressed since i started and it seems to be getting worse and i can't help but think its a flatline. I don't crave porn anymore, I don't find girls attractive, I don't even admire beautiful actresses on TV and i don't even enjoy kissing girls. My libido has tanked to absolute zero and I've stopped enjoying things i used to before such as video games, tv shows. The worst was when i recently had a girl over who I really like (gf material) and couldnt get it up and i wanted to die. I understand flatlines can last a while but i thought since i haven't watched porn in 4 months now i would feel a lot better but haven't really noticed any benefits. Am i doing it wrong by MOing and should i go for hard mode? I'm scared if I do that i will lose my chance with this girl. I only masturbate about once ever 2 weeks nowadays as I don't even feel the need for that anymore.

I've done what i should have at the start - made an appointment with a doctor next week, I am thinking of going down the route of pills - would that help me rewire my brain to actual girls? Possibly also help with the nerves and then I can wean myself of it? All your help is appreciated bros
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Go on hard mode for 90 days this should help you not now but in near future..

jaigos · May 20, 2018

1 week update. I'm officially at 7 days no PMO now.

I potentially entered it in a flatline already so haven't seen the surge most have in the first few days. My libido/drive is still very low and I continue to feel numb down there. My mood is low but I have felt a touch better than I did last week. I conclude I am definitely in a flatline which hopefully means I am further along the path to recovery than just 7 days. Have spent a lot of time on the forums and researching this last week and I am now 99% sure that porn is the root cause of this. The only positive of being in a flatline is that it's super easy to avoid PMO as I have no urges at all. But god, do I miss feeling normal and being able to admire women. I continue to keep up my habits of exercise, good diet. In addition, I've started keeping a journal on my phone and have signed up for some online therapy which should start soon and may help me get over some of my mental issues. I'm struggling to get into meditation but hopefully will find the motivation soon. A lot of my old hobbies don't appeal to me (TV, video games) but I have yet to find a healthy replacement for them - there's only so much reading I can do!

As for my girl dilemma, I haven't had a chance to see her/explain to her my situation. Maybe she senses something is off too. It feels like horrible timing that I have met her while just starting to embark on this journey (why couldn't I have discovered nofap 2 years ago when my only companion was my laptop!). I think there is potential of a long term thing here which is why if it comes down to it I am prepared to try ED pills to have sex with her. I understand that it may delay my recovery and even cause me to become dependent on them however on the flip side i've seen a few reports of guys who were able to use them to rewire to girls and then wean themselves off. It's something I think I am going to have to try.

Thanks for all the comments so far, please keep your thoughts, advice and positivity coming. I am going to need it!

MarinoBigFan1984 · May 20, 2018

Stop drinking period. 26 is really young for blue pills. Go hard mode for 90 days and see where you are after that 90 days. No weed or other drugs either.

jaigos · May 21, 2018

MarinoBigFan1984 said: ↑

Stop drinking period. 26 is really young for blue pills. Go hard mode for 90 days and see where you are after that 90 days. No weed or other drugs either.
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Ok I'll give that a try. Would you expect to see concrete benefits in 90 days?

MarinoBigFan1984 · May 21, 2018

Yes

MarinoBigFan1984 · May 21, 2018

Completely detox yourself

jaigos · Jun 2, 2018

3 week update: Felt like i was coming out of my flatline over the last week. My mood seemed to be lifting even though work was really shitty and I had energy to exercise and do things. My penis felt a bit longer and thicker when flaccid and i could get 60% hard or so by stroking it. Also noticed a bit of morning/night time wood every 3 days or so. I did also have my first wet dream in maybe 10 years a few nights ago (day 18). I woke up in the middle of the night with no recollection of the dream, feeling extremely tired and it was wet and cold down there. The liquid also seemed watery and transparent so not exactly sperm. Felt very tired the next couple of days after that and the above changes have regressed. I have no urges still for porn or real women so i'm hoping that comes back soon. What do you guys think? Signs of progress? The wet dream seems to have set me back, i'm worried it will plunge me into a deeper flatline now

jaigos · Jun 3, 2018

Bump

Arnulf · Jul 4, 2018

I'm the same....no urges whatsoever. Watery semen is a sign of high prolactin too. (Your hormone panel bloodwork should show this)
You don't have to take this advice, but I'd start taking vitamin B6 and Vitamin E daily and see if that helps. It should lower prolactin, increase dopamine naturally and thereby increase testosterone. Don't take my word for it, but you might wanna look into it
Regardless, hang in there! Let's crush this flatline together and not give in!

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Advice needed - 26M, 4 months no porn - no benefits

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