Too scared to text girls

Well, texting random girls on social networks won't really work.. unless you are really attractive and/or she's bored and wants attention you won't get a response, I mean you're a total stranger why would she respond to you? I doubt you'd be much different as well in that regard. As for texting girls in general, even the ones you know... I don't know, just write a message and then put the phone down and think about something else until you get a response back. Keep doing this until you no longer have to. Remember that rejection is not the end of the world, you need to learn to accept it and like in all things, practice makes perfect.

 

I don't prefer you to text a random girl, and about known girls you should physically try to speak to each and every girl you meet doesn't matter who she is this will build up your confidence, while talking you shouldn't judge yourself, don't be fake always be yourself, and don't fear from rejection. Rejection are like mathematics problems more you do practice more you do wrong the more you learn.

 

Well, you need to analyze each situation respectively and see why it works, it's a hit or miss. Maybe you should get tinder, it's made especially for that. I never really used Facebook to hit on girls or talk to any strangers really, it just seems weird to me.

 

I know you said it works for your friend, but personally i dont like texting people and asking them out. Face to face is always better. Its more personal, you can feel each other out (not physically...yet anyway) and theres much more of a connection. This whole texting and social media thing takes the soul out of human interactions. Thats just me though. On another note, to answer your question more directly, i say just text them. Your friend does it and gets good results, so why cant you. Worst case is you get rejected, but its not in person and you dont even know the girl so who cares.

 

I've done a ton of online dating (it's most effective for my lifestyle). Can you explain what you're method is? Are you just going on facebook texting strangers? Or do you mean texting someone you've met/matched with?

 

There are 2 suggestions I would offer:

1. Text them the first thing that comes to your mind and wait for their response. Texting girls is a skill, too, and skills take practice. Do not over think, it's normal to be caught up trying to sound appealing. Keep the text simple and direct.

2. Work on your social anxiety. Like @What I Do That Defines Me, in-person interactions is always better, and it's a good practice for working on self-confidence. Who cares if just a simple "Hi" or "hello". If you are able to wave "hi" to a stranger, you can easily be able to give a small compliment. And if you can compliment a stranger, then what's stopping you from asking for a number and maybe a chance to grab a drink together, sometime in the future. What I'm trying to say is that to be able to start a conversation with a stranger is harder than texting someone, in my opinion. If you're capable of that, you'll have no problem texting any girl on social media.

Just my two cents. Best of Luck brother.

 

Me too, to be honest I would never text random girls online. How does she know you're not a creep? It's easy to pretend to be someone you are not online, and women know that. Even if you're a friend of a friend this doesn't mean much; you can still be a creep. I believe you should at least use dating sites, too, where you know the women want to be texted. If I was a woman receiving messages by random male strangers on social media, I guess I would just block them right away, without much of a second look.

But, if your friends are successful doing this, why not ask them for advice?

 

Sorry, I don't understand. Where, what kind of site, do you post this? In random forums?

This is a terrible reason to get a girlfriend, FWB, or any romantic partner. Get a GF/FWB/FB because YOU want one, not to get approval from other people.

If that's true, then you don't need any advice from us. If you're bullshitting yourself (and us), then our advice can't help. We can only give good advice if we have good information about what's going on.

 

No worries, I can come across pretty harsh on the internet. I recommend keeping your friends off your back about it, which is just going to add a bunch of irrelevant social pressure on the whole idea.

Nope, it works the other way around. Even if you get good at dating with anxiety, you're vulnerable matching up with women that are bad for you. I highly recommend you address your confidence/anxiety *before* getting a girlfriend, since anxiety will affect your judgement.

I saw a psychoanalyst/psychologist about 5 years ago and found it helpful with introspection. A therapist will help you learn about yourself, and provide guidance on coping and mitigating anxiety.

That's one reason why I never try dating girls via social media sites, it's extremely ineffective and you're going to get rejected a tons and tons of times before getting any good dates.

Use a dating site like Tinder instead. Check out a PUA blog about texting, dating girls, confidence, etc. I recommend blackdragonblog.com since he has a pretty good system.

 

have a giid streak and you'll be more confident!

 

Getting a gf will not give you more confidence you can only do that yourself relying on things and people outside of your control as a source of confidence is not sustainable because these things never last and can change at anytime.I wouldn’t start dating hoping you will get confidence from another person because often times they will do things and act in ways that you don’t agree with them you will try to control them out of fear of loss because you depend on them for your sense of self worth

 

Honestly the best thing to do is just take a step back and look at this situation. I was the same way when I was 18. I just wanted to have sex cause my friends were doing it and gave me shit about being a virgin. Turned out a couple years later half of them were still virgins as well. That’s called being a shit friend.

Think about what you really want out of life right now and if a girlfriend isn’t a top concern then stop worry about it so much. When I was 18 I just wanted to ride motorcycles, playing guitar, work towards my career, and go fishing. And I definitly wanted to have sex but wasn’t to interested in a relationship.

That being said not all the advice on here is bad. I texted probably hundreds of girls online in my teenage years and non of them lead to releationships. Which should always be the ultimate goal. Make as many friends as possible. Through friends you’ll eventually meet girls and eventually one your attracted to and have some stuff in common with.

If you do text girls online which it’s hard not to nowadays. Be honest, courteous, confident, funny, smart, and creative. If they don’t respond to any of those things they aren’t into you physically or they aren’t worth having. Also women want attention if you give it to them and they like you you’ll have a good experience. They also like to be taken care of (in an basic inscintal way) If you are working hard towards a good career that will certainly set you apart from the crowd.

Main thing to remeber is you do you and screw what your douche bag friends say. I’m 30 years old and nothing my 18 year old friends peer pressured me into doing was beneficial to me and usually lead me down a road of emotional self destruction.

That got long but we’ve all been there man. Don’t let your immature friends make your life decisions for you.

 

Life is full of things to enjoy. Places to see, people to meet, things to learn. As the advice goes with a lot of threads on here not having a passion in life isn’t ever healthy. If you don’t have one find one. Find more than one and if possible make it something that is social in some way. In the end introvert or extrovert humans are social creatures.

Find something you’re passionate about and work towards being the best you can at it and don’t let anyone else hold you back from that.

 

If you're thinking your asexual, then trying to get into a sexual/romantic relationship is irrelevant for your lifestyle.

I concur with Here2learn, and recommend you read and explore random things in the world to find what piques your interest, or what problems in the world you want to solve.

Finding a mission in life takes a lot of time and experimentation. At 18, you have a lot of time still. You still don't know all the options out there, but there's a lot of interesting, crazy, and/or intense things to experience.

 

Are you not interested in picking up girls because you don't find any particular girl attractive, or because you feel it's too hard and complex?

If it's the first option: you're probably assexual. Nothing wrong with that, just go find another thing to invest your time and energy.

If it's the second option: then you should work on your skills, and then, with time, picking up girls will become easy. I know because I had no idea how to approach a girl when I was 18, I was extremely shy, but I worked hard and had a lot of sucess in my period as a single guy. If this is the case, may be you should know this guy Todd V on youtube. I think he's a no bullshit pick up artist you can learn a lot with. And I would suggest too the book Charisma on Command by Charlie Houpert.