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Confusing loneliness

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Tobefree2, May 24, 2018.

  1. Tobefree2

    Tobefree2 Fapstronaut

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    Sorry if this is a mess but it is the first time I have done something like this. Been trying to find a girl friend for months (mostly through dating sites as I am terribly shy). Always been a loner preferring to be by myself due to troubled home life and being the target of bullying during my whole school life. Now at 31,I've tried to find people to hang out with but none of my co-workers are Christian and the people around my age at my church are busy with their lives (I'm basically the only single on my young adult class.) Hobbies like crafts and video games help. Thing that annoys me is some says I don't care I'm a loner and some days I do. Any advice.
     
  2. lustforlife

    lustforlife New Fapstronaut

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    hey i never had gf. i am findind but cant get any. sam ehappens with me . i just dont care that i am lonely
     
  3. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    I think it's normal. some days we like watching a movie. some days we want to be alone in the park. there are no absolutes. no one is an absolute loner and would want to live all alone in the mountains forever. likewise no one would want to party every day with ten thousand people and sing and dance.

    some days we like fast food. some days we like salad. the stomach and taste buds need variety and nourishment. likewise some days we feel like being alone n some days we like to just have some fun or maybe a walk with one friend.
    even the mind needs variety n energy to recharge.
     
  4. Orion_35

    Orion_35 Fapstronaut

    Dating sites are bad, they are a black hole in many ways, especially to someone who is otherwise alone and it gets worse if you allow the standards people have in dating sites to negatively affect your self-esteem because the standards people claim to have in dating sites are typically unrealistic or exaggerated.

    So its far better to meet women in RL if you can and they might respond to you more than they would in Dating sites

    I'm not a Christian so I may be viewing this from the outs, so forgive me if I'm wrong, but aren't all churchs open to all Christians? and wasn't Christianity in fact picked up for the lure of church communion as a sort of RL dating hub? Why not go to a different Church that may have nice Christian Women that may be in your situation? There is no shame in it.

    Also if you really don't want to be a loner you can pick up so many hobbies that help you meet people : Martial Arts, LARPs, Paintball, Art(live model sketching sessions) , Hiking, jogging and these are just off the top of my head atm, there are so many more..
    The point is you can absolutely meet people and if you are a loner that is fine too, I'm mostly a loner also, I sometimes make friends with people but I don't do that well in crowds and I accept that because getting good at mass socializing takes a lot of effort , effort that so far in my life I didn't particularly care for. And still in the army or studies I ended up making friends, I learned from them , and sometimes they were nice to hang out with. (some of them might also indirectly help you meet women).
    Just so you know, these connections can be emotionally dangerous though, so know when to ditch bad friends and avoid feelings like envy (such as your friend dating a woman you have a crush on for example), in that respect there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a loner.
     
  5. Azabu

    Azabu Fapstronaut

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    Fuck girls, you need friends, not girls, if have real friendship with guy you do no need girls
     
  6. Tobefree2

    Tobefree2 Fapstronaut

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    That's the thing, none of my co-workers are Christian. Not saying I am better than them, by no means, but I don't care for some of the stuff they do.
     

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