180 DAY CHALLENGE: EXTREME MODE

I am in for the challenge starting with day 0.

 

Today is day 65 out of 90 towards 120 and possibly 180 my wife's got one hand God's got the other. Doing hardmode pmo is a real difficult life challenge which is opening up more in your brain than just doing P&M. So just imagine your wife just being able to kiss lightly, hold hands, hug, no nudity. Just imagine......

 

Day2 of 180

 

Day 87.

 

67. Yay baby yay

 

relapsed and out of this challange

 

I Can Only Imagine how it will be to be without pmo to be set free I Can Only Imagine day 66 towards 120 or whatever number it needs to be I Can Only Imagine to be set free I love my wife and only want to have sex with her as it should always be I Can Only Imagine... I love my wife I want my life and God will help set me free and make me be

 

68. Come on 90 days.

 

Day 67 yesterday was an excellent day, had company over three other women we talked about things have gone on in the past between all of us. Between the trauma, the drama, and the horrible things that we assume in life that were normal before we realize our relationship with God. What's going to get you through this is self discipline, determination will power, hope, self preservation, and knowing that your partner has your back and is supporting you 100% on this journey as my wife does

 

Day 88, 89.

 

69. Love thisnumber man

 

Sunday didn't proved well result in relapse ...

Starting again with day 2

Analysis and interpretation ;

1.Stress was there which has always been a major cause,
so avoid stress.
2.Isolation and not remaining busy were other triggers ,
so its better to keep oneself busy.
3.Triggers will always show its result may not in the initial days
i.e when you use youtube after 2 or three weeks
in the beginning you may cope but persistent use
will definitely and surely result in relapse. so avoid it.

Solution ; Keeping myself will help a lot ,
reminding myself again and again about my mission ,
avoiding triggers by involving in other worthy activities.

 

DAy 68, of an unknown number Not gonna put a number on it because I wanna make sure I’m right before we stop. I drink a little bit yesterday and it didn’t do any good. I’ve lost the enjoyment out of it I’m also stopping antidepressants at the same time so it’s a good thing to quit anyway the one thing I don’t want to do is have a relapse or start over again. I would rather use a ping-pong paddle on my balls, and then coat them with the icy hot afterwards and start over again

 

Today is day 69 I feel really good I think I'm definitely rebooting and rewiring the first time yesterday mywife's realized that I don'teven care about porn I don't even care about masturbation all I care about is mutual sex having anorgasm with my wife. nothing more all I know iswhen she's ready is when we will do it and I have to pinmy faith in God and my wife that we will reboot ourmarriage. I have forgiven myself and it's still a processI'm ready to take this as longas it'll take 90, 120, 180 whatever number comes upI feel I've got moreconfidence to be able to do this I'm also stop drinking and I'm work work weaning my way off ofantidepressants peace to all fapstronauts don't stop your journey remember only you can stop forest fires (pmo) not Smokey the Bear hardmode pmo is the only way to go willpower,obidience, stamina, delayedgratification, discipline, mind controls brain, empathy, clear thoughts, purity justsome of even more reasonsto stop hardmode pmo is the only real way to go,relapse times for me 0. Godis great god is good.

 

70,71. Last two days were not easy. I knew i cant have sex but just to follow it was giving me some kind of rush. I got out of the loop without doing any damage.

 

Tomorrow's the big 7-0 for me had a great day today I just have been struggling right now I had to walk away and I told my wife I got to walk out and she even said hey and let you go for a walk or who's going to lay down here in the back room and do some nofap hope everybody's doing well hang in there man wow just great day just want to pull my dick off and use a bat on it right now LOL just kidding

 

Today is Day 70 hardcore mode pmo doing this with my wife got to be making history here zero porn 0 masturbation 0 orgasm hand holding, light kissing, hugs, is all the human contact I've had after 33 years of objectifying my wife I don't miss porn at all I don't miss masturbation at all I miss having sex with my wife and the human contact. That's why it's so hard for me to understand how folks can relapse after spending so much of an investment of their time. I would rather slap my balls with a ping pong paddle and then coat them with Icy Hot afterwards then start over again. I hope today finds everyone well God bless

 

Day 4

 

72. Sitting out with family and friends.