Stop counting the days

I also never liked the word relapse. It just sounds like Restart, start over from scratch, which is the WORST, most destructive way to look at it. Every single effort we give matters, and builds on itself. I view it more as a rest. I went on a 10 day climb, and then I got tired, and rested on my journey. Just like a mountain climber won't climb the whole mountain in one day. Then you get up again to climb even more.

 

I like the idea about quiting porn for good. Why want to do it again if you already know what it can cause.

 

Ya I agree

 

sorry maye a bad question, what is PIED

 

PIED is Porn Induced Erection Dysfunction.

I've also quit counting the days. Not saying everyone should stop counting, but for me it's no longer about the days. It's about a whole new lifestyle.

 

THanks. I also just stop the day counting today. Its not about a number its about a life! Stay strong!

 

So true, that counter could be even contraproductive in the end.

 

I totally agree. If you relapse don't binge. And I don't like the word of "relapse" but in this kind of a forum we use something like this terminology. And the same time it is about how individuals exposed to pornographic content. Think about a person in 5 years he have watched every person and he made a counter what it started 0 day. And think about his alternative twin brother and he have watched a few times, not everyday in his life. And after 5 years he decide to make a counter for himself and he starts at "0" day. Do you think which one is affects more from pornography?

It was my greatest mistake, I was counting te days always and if I relapsed, I got despair and I was binging. I can't understand my teenage years. And please be careful this! Stay away from porn as you can!

 

I used to beat myself up every time I relapsed, I would overthink and ask myself countless questions about the relapse, but what I have learned now through experience is that if you don't forgive yourself you just going to have a hard time, you will be stressed, anxious and find it very difficult to quit. The word relapsed sounds depressing and I don't like hearing it.

 

Nice post fella.Yaa counting days is not good.

 

Totally agree about focusing on growth and a lifestyle change. I have had a couple episodes where I have chased p-subs down the rabbit hole, but I have made tremendous strides since beginning nofap and I do not see myself every reverting to my old ways. Being free and having additional space in my life feels to good.

I have also come to the conclusion that I will never reach a number on the day counter where the addiction or attraction no longer exists. I see the redeeming value of the day counter as way to see what you have personally built through your discipline. I think it does give some individuals pause before acting out as they wish to maintain that momentum and continue to grow the number on their day counter.

 

counting days actually helped me. It was motivational

 

I agree. But don't see harm in counting days for at least a month or so. There needs to be a point were you naturally stop counting.

 

it happens naturally. I was so exited to reach 60-70-90 days. After a while your life starts changing and you stop counting. If you relapse every 20 days obviously you'll count the days forever!

 

Except the fact that you slide all the way down when you take a 'rest', but you do strengthen your muscles for next time.

 

There are pros and cons, IMHO, to counting days. For those of us early on in reboot, day counts are a goal; one day, two days, 20, 30 and so on. Each one sober seems like a huge achievement and motivation to keep up the progress. On the other hand, and I've experienced this feeling, a relapse and counter-restart hurts and can contribute to added shaming we don't need. When I relapsed 28 days ago, it sucked. But I learned from the experience to let go of the shame and embrace myself for the effort and achievement (I'd made it to 20 days, my previous record). Then I picked myself up and rebooted.

I envision a day and time when counting days will be meaningless and unnecessary, and I look forward to that time. Meanwhile, each time the counter ticks over, I quietly thank myself and appreciate the sobriety I've achieved.

Count or not to count isn't the issue. It's staying clean and working a reboot that matters!

 

In terms of the day counter you do slide down, but in terms of the actual journey of NoFap, you are right where you left off. The day counter, and the actual graph chart of a persons NoFap progress are different things.

 

DUde, thank you for this inspirational post. Keep it up and never go back!

 

What about everyone in a while?