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wierd AF but helped me through reboot

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Dov, May 28, 2018.

  1. Dov

    Dov Fapstronaut

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    for a while now my 'Nofap' has improved and became easier.
    i did not watch porn, not even once.
    but what i did was going on the internet and searching for sex toys and equipment related to my fetish.
    just going through so much sex toys, like it was porn.
    it did caused some severe cravings but i stood against them all with brave.
    i didn't went extreme shopping but i did bought some cheap fun stuff i found.
    now im at the point where i saw all the sex toys on the internet, no joke, i have no where to go from here.

    And now its harder to maintain streaks! this was like a non-porn substance for porn and every time i had a hard time struggling my cravings- went sex-toy hunting, it didn't even end with MO.

    relate, share thoughts :emoji_open_mouth:
     
    PMO addict likes this.
  2. _Xavier_

    _Xavier_ Fapstronaut

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    Amateur thoughts:
    This is probably relieving some of the stress you have after not watching porn for a few days. Your body is convinced the porn is necessary for survival/reproduction and panics. By looking at things related to your addiction, I think what you are doing is easing the anxiety of not watching porn (or as your brain sees it - no longer Genghis Kahn scale reproducing your genes. It doesn't know the difference.). In other words, you are still lightly feeding your addiction and it will probably not go away as quickly.
     
    PMO addict likes this.
  3. PMO addict

    PMO addict Fapstronaut

    I remember looking at sex "toys" when I was in my addiction. I think I did it on a streak once too just to get by that day and I didn't fully relapse into PMO. now that I look back that was kind of a "danger zone" and if I think about this streak, I haven't been close to really engaging in that kind of thing.

    Also I think the "toys" are some what pornographic in that they look like body parts. Some of them even have a picture of a woman on the box, even just in underwear. So I think its a form of pornography. I'm not saying you have to reset over it because that's up to you but I classify it as pornography in my own understanding.

    Also if you bought them then that might be a sign of plotting a relapse. maybe you told yourself that you are just buying them... for a partner in the future? I mean I guess that wouldn't be a relapse if you use them with a partner. So its possible. But I know if I thought this way it would be like, 'Oh, I'm just gonna have them around...' And a few days later, 'Oh, I just have to try them because I bought them but I won't go too far...' and then I can't stop. So part of avoiding relapse is seeing how far back the relapse starts. The relapse starts a while before the actual act in some cases because there's an inner relapse.
     
  4. JustinX

    JustinX Fapstronaut

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    Abstinence doesn't equal to recovery.

    You better learn it now or you will learn it later on your mistakes.
     
  5. Dov

    Dov Fapstronaut

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    Thank you that's actually helpful
    plotting a relapse... sound kinda funny but this might be true to some extent, however i'm amazed that my brain can trick my mind like this.

    Thanks This sounds like solid information, and also makes sense.
     
    PMO addict likes this.
  6. PMO addict

    PMO addict Fapstronaut

    Its ok @Dov right now my brain is plotting acting out in other ways like thinking of finding some kind of "hook up" website and I have to keep saying no. Even just looking at pics on one of those will start to trigger me and even if I managed to find a real person to have sex with from there it would still just become an addictive drug because there isn't really love and intimacy. So, my body is like craving some kind of sexual stuff but I just can't do it. I kinda wish I had a GF but I gotta lotta personal issues to sort out before I could have a GF... So I am in forced-monk-mode! Anyway I can commit to not going and searching some hook up website for now.
     
    _Xavier_ likes this.

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