Watching "Try Not To Laugh" videos as a way of strengthening my inner self

Holy shit I face this problem as well. To a point where i dont even know what i find funny anymore. i used to just laugh when people expected me to just to get accepted.

 

I do this a lot too. It definitely doesn't serve me to do the laugh. I think it relates to mom or dad being mad or emotionally manipulative if you don't laugh at their jokes or approve of doing what they want to do. I bet it has to do with shame. I don't even remember right now though. Oh yeah, I remember being a joke punching bag for my mom. She used to try to embarrass me on purpose in front of people. Maybe it is related.

Thanks for posting this it has me thinking. I'm going to start asking myself, "What would have happened if I hadn't laughed at that joke?" and similarly for the yes machine stuff.

When you were growing up did you fear the consequences of voicing your disapproval of what your mom or dad wanted you to do? I'm thinking of their artificial consequences like rage and hitting. For me it was not going to church that I remember most clearly. I got the rage from my dad whenever I said I didn't want to go. So I had to submit, what could I do as a little kid?

 

It is amazing how we develop as children and learn so quickly to avoid those imposed consequences. The very actions that were necessary for our survival in childhood become our chains in adulthood. Although I like to think of those chains as rope and I have a small knife.

I'm very sorry about that. It sounds terrible. I had trouble with both parents. My mother would yell that she hated me right before bed for not doing what she wanted. There was a viscous rage in her face. I don't speak to my dad. He is beyond saving and thinks everything he does is right and good.

These things come from evil places man. I remember weeping for my dad and the whippings he got as a small child. You make a very good point about the self worth and fear. I think mine has a similar issue.

I think your father as a child was an innocent human being that did not deserve a single bit of it. And I want to ask the tough questions. What makes one evil? If a man murders someone, is he evil? Was he evil before that point? or after? What if he beats someone close to death? What if that man spent almost 20 years keeping a child in torment, directly and indirectly through the consequences of his actions? If he tortured his own flesh and blood through childhood with humiliation, soul-crushing indifference to his preferences, and sacrificed his emotional well being for some inconsequential fucking social approval and that shit follows his child almost everywhere he goes into adulthood, at what point does he become evil? I will tell you this. Empathy disappears quickly when you do this kind of stuff to children. And it doesn't come back. But I think our fathers' empathy were lost long ago when they slowly lost the ability to self-empathize as the abusers told them "you are worthless." And it became solidified in their mind as truth. In order to avoid the truth about what was done to them - the pain - they turned into the very people that created them and told us "I love you son" to wish all the shit they did away in a fairytale make belief bullshit story of love.

I gotta tell you man. I bet you have a hard time knowing if people are taking advantage of you or not. Just like I have struggled with. I have respect for you and your level of self-knowledge and intelligence, and I have to tell you man to man, fuck that evil motherfucker. Not to mention the woman who chose to give him kids that he could abuse in such a horrible way. It was like an evil incubator of pain for you for 18 years! Instead of preparing you for a great adulthood you are still patching the wounds your parents gave you at age 27! If we do not call evil by its name, it thrives, eats us alive, and it spits us back out as corrupted evil people. Just as our fathers (and mothers) experienced.

I hope you understand my respect for you as a human being. I would not respect you if I had anything good to say about your father's choices as an adult as well as your mother's partner choices. We all have a choice whether or not we were caged and beaten. The sympathy you have is not for your father in my opinion, it is for your father as a child and for yourself as a child, just as I cried for my 6 year old father and what I could have had with him. I suggest holding onto that self-empathy that you may have in there. By accepting your father, you reject your childhood experiences and emotions and will follow a similar path very likely. If you reject your father, you accept yourself and your past emotions and experiences and will see the evil and continue your path of growth.

I really appreciate what you have shared. My mind is spinning probably too much and I'm solidifying some decisions I'm making currently. This is all just my opinion, but I think it makes sense. I have included some books that I found very helpful in my own journey and I would like to hear what you think. If you are not already prepared to kill me lol
Book #1 - http://cdn.media.freedomainradio.co...yranny_of_Illusion_by_Stefan_Molyneux_PDF.pdf
Book #3 - http://cdn.media.freedomainradio.co...Time_Relationships_by_Stefan_Molyneux_PDF.pdf

 

I don't know of any such problem..
I sure have laughed at wrong moments, but then I haven't laughed when I should have..
But it's interesting to see what you guys have gone through..and made some wise decisions as well..

 

I miss being able to laugh and tell jokes I mean I used to be very funny, but I don’t find as many things funny sadly I really miss being able to tell a good joke or listen to one but I don’t know how to improve my sense of humor any advice?

 

I appreciate your response. I found out the hard way that my parents don't want to change nor do they acknowledge the evil they did as wrong. For that reason, I call them evil and I look for good people to replace them with. I have a very difficult time with that and have been severely depressed about it, but I have gotten through it and see an inkling of a bright future. With the help of those books and the guy's podcast I have a better moral understanding of love and relationships, but little practice. If you are up to it, feel free to write about the books here. I'm sorry this is a rushed response.

 

Think less about it. I'm in the same boat I think. Yesterday I was just kind of enjoying my day. Changed my mindset a little bit to a more humble and satisfied self and made a few people that I don't know laugh for the first time in a long time.

Sorry this isn't more detailed.