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Day 1

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by nofap86, Sep 2, 2013.

  1. Sep 2, 2013 #1
    nofap86

    nofap86 Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, my name is David and I'm 27 years old. So I lost count of how many times I've tried to quit porn a long, long time ago. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is crazy right? This time around I'm going to participate in the community(I've been lurking for years) and break my old records. I started looking at porn very early on in life, but I didn't start using it till 12 or 13 probably. Internet porn got hold of me around 15 years old. Quitting has been near impossible as I've come to use it to deal with stress and anxiety, which I'm sure most of you use it for as well. I've had my share of shit thrown my way in the form of deaths of friends and family and steady low to high grade stress throughout my entire childhood. As you can see I have my work cut out for me.

    I've tried meditation and exercise among other things, but I still end up failing. I should mention I'm not doing this for performance problems or religious reasons. I just don't like using this garbage. I escalated to extreme porn years ago and I don't want to go any further. It makes me feel sick that I let things get this fucked up. I spent a lot of time hating myself for it, but I've found that to be incredibly unproductive. The self loathing/shame needs a lot more work though and I continue to heal the damage this has done to me.

    That being said, over the past year I've basically changed my life around, but PMO still remains a problem. I've whipped my ass into shape, I forced myself to learn social skills I had long neglected due to living like a 'basement dweller'. This is going to sound like hyperbole, but I'm basically a different person. It should be said that I'm extremely hard on myself even when I make huge progress, this is something I have trouble remedying.

    At the end of the day I feel like I've hit a plateau and I need your help. I appreciate any advice you can give me and thanks for reading.

    David
     
    nofap86, Sep 2, 2013
    nofap86, Sep 2, 2013
    #1
  2. Sep 3, 2013 #2
    DanceToTheRadio

    DanceToTheRadio Fapstronaut

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    Hello David,

    First of all, good luck mate. Reading your 'Day 1' post, I feel we've been going through similar emotions surrounding all this, so I wish you well. I too beat myself up, using P and M to overcome stress and anxiety. It's difficult to replace P with meditation and exercise, I know. P and M are 'quick fixes', but we all know the dark side and mistruth about this. In the past, I've found a better diet helps. More fruit and vegetables, and also a course of supplements: Zinc, Vitamin C, and D3. I've also found that, after work for example, instead of going straight home, going to a bar or cafe for an hour helps. Running straight home to watch P was a problem for me, so this 'extra hour or ninety mins' has got me out of the routine. As I said, best of luck. Keep going!
     
    DanceToTheRadio, Sep 3, 2013
    DanceToTheRadio, Sep 3, 2013
    #2
  3. Sep 3, 2013 #3
    nofap86

    nofap86 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the advice. My diet could use some work for sure.
     
    nofap86, Sep 3, 2013
    nofap86, Sep 3, 2013
    #3
  4. Sep 3, 2013 #4
    FacebookVirus

    FacebookVirus New Fapstronaut

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    Hi, David. I'm in the first few days of my second major effort to stop PMO this year. Like you, this habit/addiction has been lifelong for me. I know I'm going to be successful in the end - and you will, too - but this time I've gone online about it here and at /r/nofap.

    For me, once I'm well into it - maybe a week or two - it then becomes a question of how far I'm going to take it. The day numbers start to lose any meaning fast. My lizard brain tells me that unless I've quit M for good (which of course it also says can't be done) then it's OK to relapse that day and make M a habit, say, twice per month.

    That's where, for me, it all gets fuzzy and extremely hard to resist. I'm a thinker more than a feeler but that doesn't make this any less diffcult because thoughts and feelings about it are all stirred together. So I'm making it an intention to quit entirely.
     
    FacebookVirus, Sep 3, 2013
    FacebookVirus, Sep 3, 2013
    #4
  5. Sep 3, 2013 #5
    ejohnson

    ejohnson Fapstronaut

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    Wow, I can relate to all of these posts. It is so weird how there are so many guys out there that are fighting this struggle in silence. If everyone that was dealing with this problem were suddenly to start glowing I bet we would all be suprised at who deals with this. If that happened we would not each feel so alone with this struggle. It is nice to have this forum for support. My new motto is to be The Best Man That I Can Be. We can all do this if we support each other.
     
    ejohnson, Sep 3, 2013
    ejohnson, Sep 3, 2013
    #5

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