Rejected, but then suddenly... Unexpected success story

I had a 33 days streak. During that time, I realized I like a girl, let's call her Alice. I say "realized" because I only started to actually see the women around me after I started rebooting. The more I saw her the more I liked her, the more I was thinking about her, and then I was in love.

I asked her out on a date, but she rejected me very politely. I asked why, and from what she said I understood that she didn't want any relationships. That broke my heart, my life got really messed up, I relapsed and returned to my regular porn use, but continued visiting this forum.

I also started going to a gym back then and trying to live a healthier life, which I continue to do. I decided that despite her rejection, I will make myself a better man.

Months passed, I stalked her online a bit, had been seeing her when we met with our common friends, but eventually, we went separate ways. I tried to forget about her, but that didn't work. I ended up following one of her social network profiles. I thought it was still better than stalking stealthily. (And it is!)

One day I found an excuse to send her a message and after that, I was founding such excuses more and more often until we started chatting regularly for a week or so. I thought that at least we are online friends now, but I lost all hope of dating her. I thought I was in her friendzone, deep and dark.

Until one day she asked me if I wanted to go drink some coffee together! Of course, I agreed. The date was great. I haven't even done/said anything stupid. I was too shy to touch her even slightly, but she was comfortable around me and touched my arms multiple times.

We talked a lot about ourselves, and I've told her that I haven't had a girlfriend since I was in high school, and I think at this point she realized that I'm a virgin, but I haven't said that directly. I shared some of my secrets, told her about NoFap and my mental issues. She told me that she rejected me because she had a BF at that time, I just misunderstood her then.

There's going to be a second date, and I'm pretty sure she likes me. Maybe not as much as I like her, but still. Not sure where this is going yet, but the more I know her, the more I love her. I haven't confessed yet because I don't want to scare her.

But let me tell you what I've learned: Never give up! I'm so happy my feelings forced me to stay in contact with her even though we haven't had any chances to meet IRL again. (Well, there's always a chance, but it was not bigger than random.) We had no other means of contacting each other, so if I chose to forget about her, we wouldn't meet again.

 

Today's date was great. I asked if I could hold her hand and she said yes. Looking into her eyes feels so great.

 

@Shinsoo, I think it's really hard to distinguish when there are no other signs she likes you. I was sure she didn't hate me because we were talking like friends, but that made me think that the friendship is all I can hope for. She hasn't explained anything, so I thought she simply didn't see me as a potential romantic partner.

 

@TC10, so far, yes. First, I have less time to have urges. Second, when I have urges, I remember that now I have a girlfriend. Fewer excuses, more motivation.

 

Today was our first kiss. I was nervous, she seemed to be nervous too, but it was absolutely great. Best day of my life.

 

Hi @Ambrose Grant,
The story continues here: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/losing-virginity-in-my-early-30s-how-to-do-it.178586/

In short, we're still dating, haven't gone very far, but I'm working on it. I've screwed up a couple of times already, but it seems okay now.
I have lots of insecurities which kick in frequently, so I have lots of problems keeping my shit together.