My husband can't see what you see.

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Healingwings, May 30, 2018.

  1. Scaffolding

    Scaffolding Fapstronaut

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    He will keep not telling you until he realizes that he is an addict and that porn is a real problem. If he is not convinced that he has to stop, your arguments about his consumption will be useless.

    I don't know him but I think your reactions are inappropriate. It will just makes him mad at you as much as you are at him. Let him feel that it truly hurts you but do not yell at him or make crisis, or he'll isolate himself in a small bubble with his lovely porn and just progressively destroy your relationship. It has already begun, as you saw he still watches porn but does it secretly. I know, it sucks, and I'm sorry about that. But you have to be patient and strong if you want to overcome this.
     
  2. A woman accepts her husbands request to go for a hiking but the problem is her husband doesn´t care the area has bears with warning signs and the wives blind love for her husband must satisfy her husband in the in name of love and feels it is her duty to do and we all know the story has no happyending.

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    If you let your husband consume porn that will harm your relationship then it will be your responsibility and consequence.
    Porn can lead men to be violent
    With porn in your home do not expect your relationship will survive unless you take action and convince him to quit porn and if he does not you have to do the right thing instead of suffering and find new love someone who appreciates you instead of digital woman

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    Gotham Outlaw likes this.
  3. Rehab101

    Rehab101 Fapstronaut

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    Aside from the porn addiction talk, a relationship requires both party to love and forgive each other imo. It should not contain negative agenda like it is your fault you did this and you are horrible. When a couple is fighting or disagreeing, you cannot be blind sided and blame all onto one person. Let both party speak their mind and list all the pros and cons. Communicate I'm fine detail why this is good or bad. On difficult subject, talk patiently and give and take advices with the partners perspective. Communication without prejudice but with true caring is the most important. Do not simply only point finger at the other person.

    On a side note, I know porn addiction is bad and very bad. Yes there are studies showing that porn is bad but to be wise, you cannot take stance of a certain studies just because that particular study support your belief. For example, for decades before smoking company or oil company would have their own scientific study with researchers showing they are all good and not doing harm to people not the environment but of course we all know the true nature of it now. There will be no anti Tabacco campaign or EPA policy otherwise. What I meant is, studies in porn are still green but at least we know long term pmo for porn addict are definitely have some effects and there are more area of studies to follow.

    That brings to me the definition of porn addict. Yes I understand this is a forum to be pmo free for many of us. We all hate the aftermath effect of heavy pmo. However in my humble opinion, this is only a major problem for porn addicts. Yet, not everyone who watches porn is a porn addict instantly imo, some can be just a casual couple like to spuce thing up once a month with porn are definitely not porn addicts. There really is no exact definition of what a porn addict is. To me, only people who cannot maintain healthy life style physically, socially, or mentally due to the abuse of pmo are considered porn addict. Ultimately, whether you are enslaved by pmo, only you yourself in the depth of your heart would know.

    So for non~porn addict, I think it's just any other relationship where couples have disagreement. Just got to work a solution that is agreeable for both side.
     
    Scaffolding likes this.

  4. I can understand your opinion about addicts porn is not a problem as you say
    But porn is different these days it is becoming more modern with better speed unlike 15 years ago it was harder to become an addict than today.
    When you say it is okay to watch porn once a month don´t you think that you would start to crave for more like once every two weeks and then once a week and the boom back to the bottom again relapse status.
    I am sure you have seen in these forums lots of people complaining that they relapsed right after 120 days of no pmo porn shouldn´t be tolerated

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    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 5, 2018
  5. Here2learn17

    Here2learn17 Fapstronaut

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    If you can’t come to an agreement on what is right then you will continue to have problems.

    What is right is whatever yal decide is right together. You can’t really move forward til you come to an honest agreement on what the boundaries will be. Seeing a couples therapist couldn’t hurt.

    You can’t be his accountability partner that will never work. He needs to decide for himself what the boundaries are and be ok with them. Otherwise he will keep defending himself and keep hiding his behavior.
     
    Hopeishe likes this.
  6. Hopeishe

    Hopeishe Fapstronaut

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    I agree with hereto learn.
     
  7. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    And the other percentage that's not reporting that are a bunch of freaking Liars. There is definitely a distinction between an attic and some of that has compulsive issues if you're an addict you need to get help nofap is not going to fix you because you won't have commitment addicts don't have commitment and it's the one thing that they're lacking they also don't have very much honesty so if you don't have honesty and commitment working together you can go fact yourself.
     
  8. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    Hi healing hey this is your Fox Islander, that contract that I was going to send you it could also help control compulsive problems. And really it's going to show a test of commitment honesty integrity follow through self discipline just to name a few there's many more advantages to it accountability is one of them but if he's got the freedom to look at whatever he wants it on his phone and his computer and you want to believe that obviously that's not working I'm on the other side of this me and my wife are both working together toward a common goal it's been 75 days since I've looked at porn had an orgasm masturbated or even been naked with my wife we have limited physical contact hand holding hugs light kisses and I'm telling you right now it's rebooting and rewiring me and getting rid of my compulsive nature in my compulsive behaviors it is absolutely amazing. Both of you have to go through something along those lines to make sure that just goes away and never comes by it back. By the grace of God you need to make a choice you're in a dead-end you can either choose to get out or turn around which one you're going to have to decide a concerned fapatonaut.
     
  9. zakes

    zakes Fapstronaut


    Id suggest maybe to let him watch you tube vids on what porn does to the receptors brain, the dopamine rush and how it can negatively affect him.

    I believe this would be more effective in getting the message home then asking him to watch you tube vids by porn stars.

    I am not suggesting that he does not care about the negative impact of porn industry on porn stars, however, I think it will have a greater impact if he realises how porn directly impacts on him in a negative way.

    Ways that he might have been completely oblivious to.

    Good Luck.
     
    Hopeishe likes this.

  10. No i am not an addict but i really have self control and have the ability to sense when i am at the point of no return when it comes to any addiction unlike you with those weak silly excuses
    (oh it is just one time ) and then again and again it just don´t stop until you die. for porn
    Just like alcohol you try it once it gives you the nice feeling but then you want more and more and end up killing some ones children.



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    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 5, 2018
  11. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    Personally I think that you need to do something radical to find out if he is an addict or not if he's not willing to try something for 30 days then that is proof that he has a bigger problem than you can handle and that he can handle if you can't do something and be committed
     
  12. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    I promise I won't do it again until next time unless you don't catch me and then I could do it a few times after that until the next time you catch me do you understand the pattern??
     
  13. Mohammed the one

    Mohammed the one Fapstronaut

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    Yes make him watch that kind of videos and also the videos that talk about the damages that PMO causes to us. Im sure he will relate to them even if he wasn’t convinced at first. Also ask him to do a 7 days or 14 days without PMO and see how things go.
    If he did relapse, i think at that moment he will know everything he watched about damages that porn cause to us and ex- actresses is right, which will be the first step.
     
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2018
  14. upload_2018-6-6_1-1-15.png

    Nice to expose pornography
     
  15. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    30 days minimum 14 days people can hide that 30 days you can so there's nowhere to run there's nowhere to hide and that means phone and computer to
     
    Gotham Outlaw likes this.
  16. Foxislander

    Foxislander Fapstronaut

    With all due respect just stop being a pussy and take it away from him no pun intended
     
  17. Healingwings

    Healingwings Fapstronaut

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    Take away what?
     
  18. Healingwings

    Healingwings Fapstronaut

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    Hi all.

    After some thoughts... I've decided I am wrong for wanting to change him.

    If he want to watch half naked women or nudes or whatever, I will let him and live a happy life.

    I mean, he is an individual. Who am I to judge him.

    All those anti porn videos... They are uploaded for profit making. There is no such thing as porn addiction.

    You guys here are tricked to buy nofap's t-shirts.


    I was over reacting. Thanks for your time.
    Bye guys. :)
     
  19. The Strategist

    The Strategist Fapstronaut

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    I'm curious, what made you change your mind?
     
  20. Darkligh

    Darkligh Fapstronaut

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    WTF is this?!!!
     
    Gotham Outlaw likes this.

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