Rebooting and aiming to get to 90 days no PMO

Hi everyone I'm gonna start updating every day and hopefully you will encourage me to keep going. I have made 70 days in the past but I want rid of this.

 

I've made 24 hrs clean. I was so tempted to fap again during this time but I managed to go out for a run and felt better for it. Here's to the fight continuing and I also intend to post more on other peoples posts.

 

Day 2 still clean. I went for a run again. Twice in two days unheard of! Thinking about sex quite a bit with being on the dating scene. Arranged a date with a girl who is really pretty. Persuaded a girl that we should have a friends with benefits relationship even though a week ago I said I didn't want to continue dating her as I didn't fancy her. I should have just left it, it was wrong.
Aiming to swim today and cook and try and be positive and joyful around family and friends. Anxiety of playing gigs in a band doesn't help me sometimes. Been looked at on stage and feeling I'm a fraud.

 

Thanks chris.
Day 3 and clean. I think it's important that thinking about staying PMO free is all I think about will not help. I need to live a full and active life. When I last relapsed I had been rejected by a girl. It's a real eye opener that I realise now how I use porn to escape from how I'm feeling. Accepting the hurt and anxiety and stress is part of what makes us human. I have to turn away from this fall back.
Tonight I'm playing a gig and anxious as always, especially as it's in front of people I know. I will have a few drinks to take the edge off it.
I have a date lined up soon. Any words of wisdom?
Keep fighting together.

 

Day 4. Have a bad back think due to too much running. Struggled with sleep and wanted the light to come quickly. Was tempted to m but knew how utterly terrible and drained I would have felt. Played a gig last night that went well but because I have low self esteem I can't speak in front of people I know. I'm hoping this journey will help heal this.

 

Day 5. Clean. But I've been messaging girls on dating sites too much and not being totally respectful. Spending too much time being isolated which I need to work on.

I realise that my life is a gift, given to me by my parents. They have always loved me and would never have wanted me to live my life like this. I hope I can keep this in mind when I need it.

I have some work to occupy myself with over the next few days so I'm hoping I can keep strong. I have a date tomorrow so I'm hopeful I'm going to find my life partner! Maybe not realistic but I can dream.

 

Day 6 clean. I'm finding the fact that I'm in single figures really difficult. I know I need to get out of this mindset and get out and start living.
My date went really well, lovely girl and we got any really well. Hope we can build something special. She has a 2 year old daughter which maybe will give me some focus on living for someone else?
I'm keeping strong!

 

Day 7. Clean. Got a sore throat and bad back but I'm feeling strong and not anxious. I'm not exercising or eating that healthy so need to be mindful of that. I have a gig tomorrow and I pray I have the courage to speak on the mic. Keep fighting together.

 

Day 8 clean. Can't believe it's only 8 days but need to keep these numbers out of my head. Woke during the night with an erection. It still works!
I'm dating a girl who I really hope will work out. I'm doing this for her and me. And I'm volunteering with a drug and alcohol recovery charity. Good for the soul. I need to keep busy a go for a good swim tonight

 

Thank you mate. Ok good advice I may just post on here when I need to. I'm still going stronger and hoping you guys are winning the fight.